Oct 14, 2008

Saddle Club: In which jellybean may be a codename for cocaine.

Saddle Club S.1.07 “School Horse”

I’m not lying, this is the most jellybean drama ever. Jellybeans are like crack to these people. Stevie’s dentist has told her to stop eating junk food, but she’ll just die without jellybeans. Lisa says that if Stevie will stop eating jellybeans, she’ll stop biting her nails. It’ll be fun. This is somewhat important later.

Max is giving Ashley and Dime a lesson in the arena when the girls bring Prancer in to lounge some energy out of her. It doesn’t work, and after some dramatic whinnying (no dramatic rearing up, sorry) she breaks away and runs straight for Ashley. Max catches her and is super pissed at her behavior lately. He announces that he is putting her up for sale. Oh drama. Saddle Club and Ashley are all sad.

The girls decide they are going to train Prancer to be a perfect school horse. Great idea, except Stevie and Carole start arguing immediately. Carole wants to put a running martingale on her for extra control while Stevie feels they should just free lounge her to tire her out. My vote goes to Carole.

Lisa and Carole catch Stevie feeding jellybeans to Prancer. Carole points out that feeding sugar to a hyper horse is not a good idea. Stevie gets good and crappy about it and Lisa starts eating jellybeans. Carole wins again.

Back in the barn, Starlight is feeling neglected. It’s actually kinda sad.

Carole yells at Stevie for letting Prancer run. Stevie bitches some more. Carole tells her to stop giving her jellybeans and Stevie says at least she’s found a training aid that works. Lisa, being the only sane one, gets on and rides her calmly. It works, Prancer behaves. Max shows up and is impressed until Stevie pulls some jellybeans out of her pocket, prompting Prancer to act like a loony and jump out of the arena. Max is pissed again and says he’s had an offer on Prancer, and he’s taking it.

Stevie blames Carole for putting too much pressure on Prancer. Carole blames Stevie for getting Prancer addicted to jellybeans. Stevie blames Lisa for not letting her eat them. Carole blames Lisa because Stevie is so much nicer when she’s not in sugar withdrawal. Prancer decides all these people are asinine, jumps a fence, and heads for the woods, no doubt looking for a jellybean dealer.

The girls argue about how to call for her, and notice they’re in the territory of some old abandoned mine. They argue some more before pressing on, with Stevie leaving a trail of jellybeans. The girls ignore a “Danger: Abandoned Mine Shafts” sign and predictable fall into one. Lisa tells Carole and Stevie to shut it. I cheered, Lisa needs to have a backbone more often.

Max has the whole town looking for Prancer, but Mrs. Reg points out the obvious: Prancer has gone missing just as Max has had an offer on her, and the girls are nowhere to be seen. We are then treated to Max riding Delilah in the woods, so I got to have a fan girl moment. Yay!

Lisa finds the way out of the mine, but there is a poisonous snake in the way.

Back at the stable, Ashley admits to Mrs. Reg that she thinks Prancer being sold is her fault because if she had moved Dime out of the way, she wouldn’t have gotten scared, and Max wouldn’t have to sell her. Mrs. Reg assures her that Max had planned on selling her long before.

Lisa and Stevie try to edge past the snake as Carole distracts it with her flashlight. Stevie seems to use Lisa as a meat shield. Lisa gets bit because Carole’s plan is stupid and Stevie is a bitch.

Ashley meets Prancer’s buyer and tells her a load of lies to talk her out of buying her.

Lisa is getting sick and Carole and Stevie know they have to get her back to Pine Hollow, where they have anti-venom. They just have to get past the snake.

Ms. Chambers, Prancer’s buyer, is still talking to Ashley when Max comes in. Max says that he’s told her everything about Prancer, but when she asks to see her, he admits that he thinks the Saddle Club has taken her. He tells her that they are very responsible. She, like I, sees the irony in considering horse thieves to be responsible, but Max argues that they love Prancer. Here we discover the buyer is actually a bitch. She says they are talking about a horse, not a person, that horses are for buying and selling, and that it’s a waste of time to get attached. Max doesn’t like that, and I imagine he tells her to piss off, but we don’t see that cause it’s a kids show.

Prancer comes to the rescue with dramatic whinnying and rearing up and kills the rubber stunt snake before helping herself to more jellybeans. Lisa, with Carole behind her, is lead back by Stevie, where Lisa receives the anti-venom and does not die. Yay. Stevie and Carole apologize to each other and to Lisa who had to listen to them the whole episode. They all promise never to fight again (yeah, right) and Lisa admits to becoming addicted to jellybeans, though she has stopped biting her nails.

Max enters and says Lisa had shown him that Prancer was a natural jumper and that with some work she will be an advanced lesson horse. He says that he couldn’t sell the horse that saved the Saddle Club, or something. And then to make me love him even more, he steals a cookie and allows the girls to mock beat him up. This sounds stupid, and it probably is, but it made me giggle like a little girl. Don’t even watch the whole episode, just watch the last three minutes and tell me I’m not crazy.

Prancer is my favorite horse, and I don’t know why. All Prancer centered episodes so far have been ridiculous, so I’m hoping that stops soon. This is one of the sillier episodes, and not in a good way, therefore I’m giving it a C+. Please, just don’t watch it. The Saddle Club fighting amongst themselves just makes me miss Veronica, and that’s just not right at all.

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