Oct 5, 2008

It's not called The Sport of Queens for a reason.

The Adventures of the Black Stallion
Season 1.3: First Among Equals

I'm going to start off this entry by reporting that yes, Alec does change his shirt in this episode. Briefly. Otherwise the old checkerboard monstrosity is still with us, proving that Alec may in fact only own four shirts. Four shirts, at least one pair of jeans, a shiny jacket with "The Black" written on it, and white high tops that appear to never be laced. I just need to see one person wearing a shirt decorated with puff paint and the horror will be complete.

But never mind all of this. What's important here is that The Black is so tired that Henry scratches him from some nondescript race, and since he's so super awesome he'd have to be pretty damn tired. Alec is upset about this, apparently preferring to race his special horse into the ground all for the sake of being the center of attention and parading around in front of his friends in Scranton. Wherever that is. I assume it's not the Scranton of Pennsylvania, given that would be a long drive from Langford wherever they are. British Columbia or something. Whatevs. They come home from wherever they were (there's a lot of random driving around in this show, since that giant truck and trailer has to be used), to a random track called "The Track" at Langford. I assume this exists, because it looks too old and decrepit to not be real. Anyway, shock of all shocks, Alec finds Catherine exercise riding! Apparently she's striking out on her own because her dream has always been to race. Screw this jumping thing.

So later on she finds Alec in the barn. He's stewing about why Henry had to scratch The Black. Damn all this rest and health and good of the horse stuff. Catherine interrupts these thoughts by asking him to come with her to talk to this guy who might let her ride one of his horses in a race. Alec thinks this is just dandy and, because he's secretly in love with her thick eyebrows, he gussies himself up with a curry comb he just happens to have handy for this occasion.

So they drive out to this other place and meet Zeke, who tells her that they should really talk to this Warrick guy about riding the horse. Warrick makes every horse story antagonist pale in comparison. Well, he has nothing on Brad given that Brad is just so awesome and had his own method of freaking everyone out. Warrick prefers to intimidate everyone by carrying a high powered bow around with him and randomly saying things like: "My jockeys must understand two things: loyalty to me and respect for my horses." Just randomly. Without anyone saying anything to him. Without anyone really being there to listen to this. Just randomly. He's all detached and arrogant and there is no way he's letting a girl ride one of his horses. Catherine can just forget it now.

So after Warrick has successfully delivered his "no woman will EVAR ride my horse(s), now get out of my way so I can shoot something" line, Catherine road rages while Alec hunkers in the passenger seat and hopes she doesn't kill them. Life IS NOT FAIR. Catherine yells about how her family always had race horses and she's always wanted to race and ALWAYS WITH THE JUMPING. People, Catherine is not thrilled. Men are stupid. Stupid men. Alec, being male, tries to assure her that it's just one race and that ain't cutting it. He is a stupid man like all the others! Alec feels her pain and gets really pissed when Henry echos Warrick. Women are, like, women! What's with this putting them on racehorses thing? That's like...weird. It's the sport of KINGS after all. Ha ha. Um, no. Alec isn't having that and he storms off in a huff. He goes to visit Warrick and throws it down, demanding that Catherine will race Hunter's Light (one of Warrick's horses) against Whistler (one of Warrick's horses) against The Black, who I guess is not tired anymore.

Henry is not amused by the situation. He won't get out of the way...until he gets a phone call...on a cordless phone...? Well, anyway. That does it and off Alec goes to the track.

So the race goes off. It's not exactly a race so much as an unrecognized match race of sorts. The Black wins, and Catherine loses because she's interfered with. She channels her inner Cindy, whipping out the indignant outrage of having to deal with people who won't play by the rules. Meanwhile, Henry and Pierre are there and Pierre breaks out the angry French. They yell in French and then Pierre tells her that her dream only exists because her father is a meanie she wants to rebel against.

It's certainly not that she wants to prove to herself that she can do it. It's just more parent problems, like always. Alec doesn't understand any of this. People talk about fairness some more. Only then The Black is injured. Uh-oh. Looks like Alec actually is stupid. Henry calls Catherine a French filly, and gets all annoyed at Alec for using the horse to impress Catherine.

Alec bemoans his stupidity. It is all his fault! He shouldn't have raced. Now Catherine will never jockey anything and The Black is hurt. So what do we do? We accidentally injure someone somehow and this leads to Alec offering to ride Warrick's horse, only they substitute Catherine instead without Warrick knowing about it, and Catherine wins the race. Hooray! Everyone gets what they want in the end, except The Black, who is still injured.

So Pierre lets Catherine continue this jockey thing so long as she keeps training seriously in jumping. Extra hooray!


Fear Street said...

Is that Mickey Rooney?

Mara said...

Yeah, it is. He starred in all three seasons. A fact that continues to floor me.