Saddle Club S.1.09 “Herdbound”
Ok, it’s a cross-country lesson at the beginning of this episode. Max has Lisa do the big jumps for the first time. Despite being nervous at first, she does well enough and genuinely enjoys herself. Yay Lisa. Max tells her she has real talent and is ready to join the jumping class.
Lisa tries to share her excitement with her bitch mom, who, in the spirit of being a bitch mom, acts like a bitch. Apparently Lisa has failed a Geography Test. Bitch mom points out that school comes before horses (yeah, right) and they are going home right now, dammit.
Lisa has to do well on her next project or she’ll fail the course. Being sorry isn’t good enough. She doesn’t practice her clarinet anymore. She’s being sent to boarding school next semester. She’s ruining her mother’s life and driving her off camera father to drink… Ok, I made that last bit up, but it is interesting that Lisa’s father is mentioned but never seen. My theory? Bitch mom has him so scared that he lives in a tent in the back yard and never sees his children. Yep.
Carole is totally Veronica’s stable bitch. Because she doesn’t want to see Cobalt neglected, she takes care of him herself.
Lisa tries to tell her mom how much she doesn’t want to go to boarding school, but bitch mom hears, “Please show me pictures of this awesome school with it’s awesome stables where I’m going to have an awesome time while you tell everyone you know that I’m dead because it’s too shameful for you to have a daughter that failed a test once.” And no, Lisa’s mom does not hear commas, call the grammar police.
At Pine Hollow, Veronica’s mom wants to see her ride her horse, considering that Veronica has a lot of expensive riding clothes, an expensive horse that has expensive boarding bills, and what I assume are fairly costly riding lessons. All rich mom wants is to see Veronica take an interest in exercising Cobalt. The nerve.
They see Carole exercise riding Cobalt over some jumps. Rich mom says Carole looks so graceful, and Max says Carole looks like she was born to ride that horse. This puts Veronica into a rage, She runs up to Cobalt yelling. I’m fairly amazed that Cobalt didn’t freak and kick her head in, but whatever. Carole is now banned from having anything to do with Cobalt.
Stevie and Carole come up with a ‘brilliant’ plan to help Lisa. This involves dragging her to Pine Hollow, which seems to have a kitchen, and making a model of Mount Everest out of cake.
Veronica’s discovering that having a horse is, like, work. I mean, really. She’s expected to, um, groom him, and clean up after him. Seriously, you guys. Did you know horses poo? And Max won’t even make Red do it, because he’s got other things to do. OMG, Veronica’s already at Pine Hollow twice a week for lessons, what more can she do? Come everyday? Seriously?
Kristi camped out to get tickets to some concert in hopes of getting Red to go with her. Veronica’s put out that Kristi didn’t ask her, but whatever.
Bitch mom comes home and finds Lisa’s gone. Melanie is gleeful that Lisa is in trouble. Mom finds Lisa at Pine Hollow with Carole and Stevie. They try to explain that they’ve made the best project ever. Unfortunately they left it in the oven too long, and it looks like Mount Everest after a volcanic eruption. Bitch mom says they’re shipping Lisa to boarding school next week. The girls have a hug and cry.
Carole sneaks some hay to Cobalt and Veronica acts like a bitch. Nothing new there.
Lisa’s packing and Stevie and Carole sneak in so they can hug and cry some more.
Kristi tries to ask Red out, but he mentions that he now hates the band cause they’re sell outs, blah blah blah. Kristi’s then stuck pretending she didn’t risk being kidnapped, mugged, or raped staying out all night trying to get those tickets. Nice. Red kinda sucks. Yeah, I said it.
Lisa cries that she doesn’t want to leave and bitch mom says she doesn’t like her tone. What the hell? At this rate, Lisa WILL be a cutter and drug abuser, and bitch mom won’t have any idea how it happened. Anywho, Lisa runs to Pine Hollow for one last ride on Patch. Bitch mom turns up and sees Lisa jumping with sad music playing in the background.
Lisa apologizes, Carole and Stevie beg bitch mom to let her stay, and Max tells her that Lisa has gained a lot of confidence riding at Pine Hollow. Bitch mom says boarding school wasn’t supposed to be a punishment, and she thought Lisa wanted to go. What? She does say that Lisa can stay on three conditions: she gets her grades up, Stevie and Carole don’t help her study, and she always tell her mom how she’s really feeling. Cause, you know, she is so deceptive, crying when she‘s sad. Who does that? Lisa asks her mom to promise to really listen (yeah, that’ll happen) and there’s a mother-daughter hug. I though mom might strangle daughter, but it didn’t happen. This time.
Veronica reaches the gross out line when she has to clean Cobalt’s brushes. I’m not sure why this is gross, but whatever. Kristi asks her to go to the concert, and she allows Carole to take care of Cobalt again. Yay. You know, Carole’s the only one to actually have a horse, but you rarely see her taking care of Starlight. She’s always working on some other horse. Whatever.
Bitch mom signs Melanie up for riding lessons. Melanie jabs that she might be in the same jumping lesson as Lisa. Unlikely that Max would have such different ages in the same group, so meh. Melanie annoys me. She and Ashley scamper off, and that’s the episode.
I liked this episode. There was no unrealistic crap, and although bitch mom was, well, a bitch, it was within the realm of believability. The girls cried, and their was no magical, asinine solution. And no Deb. And Veronica suffered the trials of horse ownership. So this episode gets an A. Woohoo! The next episode will make me cry, so look forward to that.