Mar 5, 2009

Wildfire: Do any of these kids go to school? Ever?

2.1: Try It Without the Porsche

Last season it was all about Strangers, Secrets, and Seductions. Season two is all Truth, Trouble, and Temptation! I'm seeing a trend here with the temptation and the seduction. What's next? Inveiglement?

Also, behold the season two cover! Brad looks bored with you, and Mike mainly looks like he's being forced to sit in a basket of thumb tacks. I have no opinion on Ashleigh. This all brings me to my standard notice: all the Wildfire characters have been replaced with their nearest Thoroughbred equivalent in these posts because it amuses me. If you're confused, go read a few Thoroughbred books and you will understand.

Picking up where we left off at the Sand Piper Classic, Ashleigh and Cindy are racing around on Wonder and Townsend Prince. Amusingly enough, the horse they use as Wonder's racing stand in is, in fact, chestnut. I just thought I'd point that out, because for a moment it was as if the show was actually bending to my will. Ashleigh and Wonder get to the front, but Cindy and Townsend Prince chase her down. They start yelling at each other, Cindy yells at Wonder to "whoa!" and then goes shooting past to win by about a half length. Ashleigh is flummoxed! She cannot call foul because she has no tangible proof that Cindy did anything dirty, and thus must swallow the bitter disappointment of losing. Everyone congratulates her anyway as Dani sits on her sofa at Townsend Acres and yells "She lost, you morons!" I love Dani, by the way. As you might remember, she recently discovered she is the illegitimate child of Clay Townsend and probably a biracial woman, messing up Dani's whole concept of rich privilege. As a result, she's been drinking scotch right out of the bottle and starts to eat pie with her fingers.

Brad has left Dani a note about how he's left home and is going to try to break away and live life without his Porsche, just as his father challenged him. So Dani takes this note to the super shiny race after party, where she throws it at her father and makes a giant scene, outing her father as a bastard who had two wives (she thinks?) and other such things about her parentage. Mike takes Dani outside so she can have a heartfelt talk with Jean, while redheaded reporter who had no name that I can remember but will be called Beth for my purposes asks Ian what he thinks Dani's problem is. Ian replies along the lines of, "Maybe her daddy cut her spending limit." Oh, Ian, were you not listening? Apparently turned on by this blatant chauvinism, Beth asks Ian if he would like to have sex. Ian agrees.

Meanwhile, Ashleigh's riding has attracted the attention of an agent, who tries to get her to talk to him, but she's too busy looking out for Brad, who is off somewhere else waiting for a bus because it really sucks not to have a Porsche. It sucks harder when Molly, the blond girl from the keg party, finds him and begins to talk his ear off. He loses her eventually, goes back to Townsend Acres to find this key to a safety deposit box, and winds up getting into an argument with Clay. Brad then wisely decides to take the Porsche and sell it, but only winds up crashing it into a shallow river. Then Brad apparently decides to take a very long walk, because he disappears for a good portion of the show.

Dani finally hears about her mother. Turns out she's from El Salvador and is a horse trainer. Then, emboldened by this story, Dani decides to take four of her father's horses, train them up to return his investment in them, and if the horses break even she gets to become a partner in Townsend Acres. I don't know how this is going to work out for her, especially when Clay (loving father that he is) negotiates her down to only one horse who is not Townsend Prince. This horse had better be awesome...that's all I'm saying. Only then she learns that the cops have found Brad's car...without Brad. And weeping ensues.

Back at Whitebrook, Mike is comforting Dani while Ashleigh cries to Wonder. Brad appears in the aisle to ask what she's freaking out over, and Ashleigh smacks him after hyperventilating and yelling. This is actually cute. Brad and Ashleigh go talk with Dani and Mike about what he's going to do with himself, and Brad has come to the decision that he will become the owner of a night club, I guess? This just confuses me, but anyway. Ashleigh doesn't want to go see the property he's bought, because it's "all too much for her" given that he's left everything for her and blah blah blah. Brad accepts that she's overwhelmed and will wait for her. She insists when they all get their acts together maybe it will work out. Or something. I know how this turns out, but I never figured a night club would be involved.

Then agent guy talks with Ashleigh about her potential, leaving Ashleigh and the episode pondering her future as a jockey.

Oh, and just about everyone walks in on Beth and Ian. He deserved it.

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