Sep 21, 2008

Humiliation, Caitlin's Way style.

Season 2, Episode 32: All Night Long
Aired: January 14, 2001

Well, guys, for this installment I'm going to have to think back to my New Kids on the Block days. Yes, I was in third grade when New Kids on the Block took the teenage female portion of America by storm, leaving us all wondering exactly why we liked boys who lip synced while "dancing" to oddly repetitive music. I remember having a New Kids on the Block poster in my room. After third grade, the phenomenon ended and thankfully we all returned to our lives. I never paid attention to boy bands again, graduating into what I like to call the sane portion of my life (relatively, anyway).

That said, who remembers a band called mytown? All lowercase, no space, group of four kids that are now somewhere between the ages of 28 and 32? All Irish or something? Does Danny O'Donoghue mean anything to anyone? Well, this band apparently existed in all its thrusting-in-time-to-music glory, and Danny O'Donoghue was a part of it. And, you guys, Caitlin totally knows Danny O'Donoghue! It's time to just pass out in shock now, because the absolute last thing I ever expected from Caitlin's Way was this episode. Brace yourself, because this is when Caitlin discovers that she really does want to be liked, be popular, hang out with a boy band, and obsess over the opposite sex.

Starting out, it's time for the school dance. Everyone is pairing up. It's just so cute. Except Caitlin is watching all of this love bird behavior and is so disturbed because she doesn't have a boy to pair up with. Caitlin ponders to herself if she's just above all of it, or outside all of it, or maybe people don't like her and she's going to be the only one without a date. I think it's the last one, Caitlin, seeing as how you're all eager to be liked now.

Anyway, the boy of her dreams landed in Caitlin's life in season 2. His name is Will and he's played by someone called Jason McSkimming, who went on from this role to MTV's Undressed. Do we all remember that show? God, I hope I'm not the only one shamed with this memory. After Undressed, he mysteriously disappeared. He's sort of dark and handsome for someone whose last role was Undressed. The Blond Girl (Taylor) is totally in love with him, but he, of course, is only in love with Caitlin. But in that cool, I'm better than this way. Which allows convenient room for confusion.

Coming back from the abbreviated opening sequence, Griffen and his friends, Brent and Eric, are dancing to, I don't know, probably mytown. I would assume. The whole episode is a mytown vehicle. They are all horrible, and Griffen knows this, so he takes a moment to complain about things. I briefly wondered what on earth they were doing, but then it is revealed that they are going to perform this monstrosity at the school dance. Upset that they suck at boy band dancing, Caitlin appears to say that she totally knows Danny O'Donoghue, you guys! Eric looks at her and says, "That is the stupidest thing you have ever said." I completely agree with him. But Caitlin is not put off. She insists that she can get Danny O'Donoghue to come play at their dance and she's going to call him and just you wait.

So she goes home and calls someone in L.A., and that doesn't go well. So she sulks with Bandit and Dori, telling them that Danny O'Donoghue lived with her in a foster home in Philadelphia and she wants him to know how she's doing and blah blah blah. None of this is at all believable. So Dori suggests Caitlin look at mytown's website and get in contact with them that way and it works! Oh, joy! While the family is playing croquet (...Caitlin, you're starting to concern me), Danny calls her up and they agree that he will thrust his hips and lip sync at the school dance! Oh, wonderful news. Let's all be happy now.

After this, Will rides up on his horse. Of course he has a horse. It's the prerequisite for all horse stories: the main girl's love interest has to love horses too. It could be the only thing they have in common, but seeing as how horse story girls usually have only one interest, I guess this works out. So he hands her the notes she lent him and they get all awkward because they know they want to go to the dance together, but no one says anything, but he asks her if she'll be around later and she says yes. And on my God, you guys, he's so going to call her! Are we excited yet?

Caitlin goes off to groom Bandit, and later she gets involved in some weird phone tag issue that results in all of Griffen's friends asking her to the dance. I don't know why and it's not important. Anyway, Griffen's friends nix the boy band idea for this rap thing that this other guy is doing. So rap guy joins the band, causing band hysterics that we can ignore for right now. Because, you see, Caitlin asks Will to the dance! Only she does it because she doesn't want to go alone and he gets offended and tells her off. Then they all go to the dance, and Caitlin wears her hair down for the first time ever and doesn't wear black. The world ends AGAIN.

Griffen and band have issues in public that cause a band break up at the dance. This, to us, is not important. The main thing is mytown doesn't show. Caitlin stands in the same spot for three hours and waits for them, but mytown is a no show and the dance just sucks. Only Will arrives and Caitlin accuses him of coming to the dance just to rub it in that it was better to go alone than go with her. And he points out that she sucks because she only thinks of herself. He is correct.

Anyway. Mytown shows up late and Danny O'Donoghue is a horrible actor. The extra band members laughing at their stupid predicament in the background are better actors than he is. Then they dance and thrust and sing while Caitlin and Griffen (the only ones still there, I guess because no one can really stand either of them anymore) dance awkwardly.

And that is the end.

1 comment:

Heather said...

I am thankful for this show because it makes the Saddle Club seem normal. This review made me smile.