Sep 27, 2008

The Saddle Club: In which we learn that old people are still useful.

Saddle Club S.1.05 “Horse Shy”

Ok, I ride western and never took formal lessons, so I don’t even know what to call the lesson they’re doing at the beginning of the episode. I think it might be gymkhana, but I am not swearing by it. They are in two teams competing against each other one at a time over a small obstacle course thing. I’m ignorant, but it looks like a lot of fun. Anyway…

Lisa races against Veronica, only Lisa is afraid to canter, so she loses by a lot. It seems like I’ve seen her canter in earlier episodes, but whatever. Veronica is predictably a bitch about it, Lisa is sad, and I have déjà vu of every episode of the Saddle Club ever. Stevie vows that they will teach Lisa to canter, or die trying.

Opening credits here. Ah ha! Lisa canters there!

The little girl, Ashley, seems to think Mrs. Reg knows nothing about riding. I mean, why would she? She only owns a riding stable. Prancer’s leg is better, so she’s ready to be put out with another horse. Max suggests Starlight, and asks Carole to make the introductions. Oh, and Prancer has a very obviously painted on star. Whatever.

Starlight is not thrilled with Prancer’s stunt double and proceeds to kick said doppelganger in the chest. Max tells Carole to leave them to let them settle down, but they don’t. Carole is very upset by this and calls Starlight a bully. If you’ve never been around horses, or even if you have, this sort of thing can be upsetting. My own mare is the herd bitch, and every new horse is initiated with tooth and hoof.

Mrs. Reg compares Starlight and Prancer to the friendship of the Saddle Club, if Max had ordered them to be friends, it never would have happened. She then goes to show a picture of herself jumping to Ashley, who seems impressed until Max mentions that Mrs. Reg hasn’t ridden like that since “the hip replacement surgery.” Ashley says that her mother said old people break bones all the time. Mrs. Reg is not amused. Max says he couldn’t resist.

Carole and Stevie try to convince Lisa that cantering is so much fun, and that they’ll make Veronica eat her words. They try leading Lisa and Patch into a canter, which doesn’t work, then they try lounging Patch, which seems to work until Lisa falls off. I’m confused as to how that could happen because Patch has a western saddle with a horn. It’s a handle, darling, use it if you have to. Lisa is discouraged, again.

Mrs. Reg plans on going for a ride because she doesn’t want Ashley thinking that only young people can ride. Out in the woods, the Saddle Club is walking back when a thunderstorm comes out of nowhere. Carole suggests they take a shortcut, but they’ll have to canter. Lisa tells them to go ahead, but they refuse to leave her. They do send Stevie and Comanche ahead because the horse is terrified of thunderstorms.

Real life advise here. You NEVER try to ride back when there’s lightning overhead. A wet rider on top of a huge, wet animal is a major lightning rod. You get out of the woods, get into the lowest place you can find, and wait it out. Period. Horses are thousand pound, furry lightning rods.

At Pine Hollow, Veronica’s being a bitch until Phil suddenly shows up, then she’s all sweetness. Kristi says he’s alright in a baby faced kind of way, and we are treated to Veronica crooning that he’s “Soooo, kyoot.” Bleh.

Comanche freaks out and throws Stevie, then rears repeatedly at the top of a hill. For once, the show actually scared me due to my aforementioned comment on horses getting struck by lightning. Stevie has rolled over a cliff and is now standing on a very narrow ledge with a very long way down, should she fall. Carole actually comes up with a clever plan of using the lounge line, tied to Starlight’s saddle horn, as a repel line. Lisa walks Starlight toward the end, lowering Carole. Good plan, but for drama’s sake it doesn’t work. The line, rubbing on the rock, breaks. Now both girls are trapped on the ledge.

Lisa now has to go for help and, gasp, she has to canter. Dramatic music please.

At Pine Hollow, Mrs. Reg and Max discuss Starlight and Prancer. Max then asks where the Saddle Club is. Cut to Lisa still cantering through the woods with riderless Comanche following behind. When they get to the barn, Lisa tells Mrs. Reg, who follows her out with Barq. When they get there Mrs. Reg lowers herself down in the same way that Carole had (and I’m not going to lie, I half expected the same result, to which I would have laughed, a lot.) But she doesn’t fall, and Starlight pulls them to safety. Yay. And Carole’s not upset with Starlight anymore. Yay.

So Lisa not only cantered, but she galloped and the whole stable is impressed. Veronica is annoyed that Phil is impressed. Ashley is impressed with Mrs. Reg. In an interesting twist the girls scold themselves while Max applauds their good work with Lisa. And now Starlight and Prancer are best friends. Whee.

End credits.

Ok, this episode did make my heart race a little with the horses in the thunderstorm. Plus ten points. Then it insulted me with the falling off the cliff plot. Minus five points. Then it was cute with the conversations between Max, Mrs. Reg, and Ashley. Plus three points. Then it continued the asinine preteen romance crap. Minus five thousand points. Somehow this adds up to a C+. Whatever.

1 comment:

Molly said...

I hate to be one of those people who's all OMG THE STUPID CHILDREN WILL IMITATE THIS, but I would HOPE that this doesn't encourage kids to go tearing through the woods at a run just for the fun of it. Or, you know, to ride in thunderstorms. (And if your horse is that psychotic about thunderstorms, wouldn't you GET OFF AND WALK HIM BACK?)