3.7: Push Me/Pull You
Glancing over my notes for this episode, Push Me/Pull You might be the first Wildfire episode that dips into the negative, as far as my random point scheme goes. I loathed this episode. However, for the interests of routine, let's start with the good stuff first.
+ The longing staring between Ashleigh and Brad receives three (+3) points, just because even in a season so totally dedicated to the sexual awkwardness between Ashleigh and Mike, Brad will always be the more interesting option. Sorry, Mike. I sort of hate you now. Deal with it.
+ We had a bit of Christina's Courage in this episode, because Ashleigh freaks out on a grand scale when she sees Samantha riding Wonder. Normally, I would take points away for this irritating behavior, but I suppose it's Ashleigh indignant response when both Mike and Ian tell her that they demanded Samantha ride Wonder instead that makes me happy. Suck it, Ashleigh. +5!
+ Ian, you're sort of awesome this episode. What with the no nonsense attitude toward Ashleigh's sudden and highly irritating Cindyfication. +2
+ Dani kicks a little CEO butt during a closing on this deal Clay insisted she and Brad attend while he's recovering from his heart attack. She was impressive. +2! Brad moves in to deliver the coup de grâce, but winds up being more impressive than Dani, adding for good measure, "And if you don't like it, you can bite me." Then he ambles out of there like the Brad Townsend I know and love. +5!
+ I have to award points for Townsend family bonding, even if it doesn't include Dani. Clay and Brad have a father and son moment, and Clay starts to plant the seeds that the rush Brad gets during his bull riding can be attained every day by being an awesome businessman. Brad seriously considers this. Thank you, Clay. You also get five points. +5!
+ Ashleigh admits to Mike her complete awfulness, not that this changes the course of any of the shit she's put into motion in this episode. I will award her one, tiny little point for this half-assed attempt to right her wrongs. Otherwise, she was one big boatload of awful in this episode. +1
The Good: 23
- Don't we understand by now? Only Ashleigh knows Wonder! Everyone else can only moderately understand her needs! Wonder doesn't need any of this fancy dressage crap, because Ashleigh and Wonder understand each other and are above using techniques that they don't have to understand! -3
- Mike, you are deducted a point (-1) for the following conversation:
Ian: I think she's in heat.
Mike: Aren't they all?
- Samantha buys hazelnut creamer and Ashleigh and Jean are all hazelnut? What the hell is hazelnut? You people live in California. I refuse to believe that you have a problem with hazelnut. -1
- "So, tell me about this dressage." I will overlook the fact that Ashleigh spits the word dressage like it's dirty, or has personally offended her. I just think this whole plotline is ludicrous. Ashleigh not knowing what dressage is, yet is able to rope a calf in a week's time, makes me mad. Samantha indicating that she only knows about dressage because she's English also makes me mad. Also, that anyone is talking about suppling and the forehand on this show makes me laugh. -3
- Because in Wildfire's world, horses are hand picked by idiots for big races, this sheik is going to look at the Prince for the Gold Cup. Mike decides that they will showcase the Prince by breezing him with Wonder, except Ashleigh should ride the Prince and Samantha will ride Wonder in a dressage saddle. Thankfully, Samantha was all "whoa, I've never done this before, this is crazy" but I was too busy covering my eyes and making incomprehensible noises to care. -5
- Enough double entendres, show! I think Samantha went through a whole conversation where every sentence out of her mouth was accidentally/intentionally given double meaning. You all know there's something up with Mike and Ashleigh. The fact that only Brad is willing to point and say what it is means that I have to deduct another two points. (-2) You can't always rely on the most awesome of you to shed light on the situation, people. Idiots! All of you! (Except you, Brad.)
- Everyone stares at Mike and Ashleigh dancing. Sigh. -1
- The sheik is there to see the Prince, and Mike says all he wants to look at is how the horse moves. He really just wants to see "the look of eagles." Mike adds, "whatever that means." Oh, damn it. Mike, minus five! How can you be in Thoroughbred racing and not know what "the look of eagles" means? (-5)
- I have to say that the scene where Samantha and Ashleigh ride around the track is as awful as you can possibly imagine. -3
- So here's the deal: Ashleigh reins the Prince in and tells Samantha to ride Wonder with a loose rein. Ergo the Prince never gets a good showing because Ashleigh never lets him out all the way, and Wonder runs off with Samantha, who doesn't know what she's doing. This is supposed to make Wonder look better. The fact that Ashleigh was this sneaky is totally unlike her, so I have to deduct another four points (-4). The fact that Ian, Jean, Mike, and the sheik buy what Ashleigh's selling deducts another five (-5). Because it is OBVIOUS what Ashleigh is doing. You don't have to be riding right next to her (like Samantha, who knows what she's up to) to see this.
- Ashleigh is such a bitch in this episode. First she urges Mike to move into the bunkhouse with Samantha, then she rigorously acts like a brat to everyone who tries to welcome Samantha into the fold. Dude, Ashleigh, you don't even like Mike. Get the hell over it and go date Brad. Oh, that's right, you gave him some idiotic excuse about family in order to keep the tension going another year. -4
- Ashleigh comes out with the truth to Mike about what she did, but then she doesn't to Ian and Jean, who accept the sheik nominating not the Prince, but Wonder, into the Gold Cup. Mike just gives her an ultimatum about getting Wonder more fit than she has ever been in her life to make up for her sudden bitchiness. I just deduct another three points (-3) because I hate them all. And I hope Wonder loses the Gold Cup. Because I'm vindictive like that.
- RJ is not in this episode. This saddened me far more than everything else going on, and also made it that much more obvious that RJ/Dani is the only thing good about this season. -3
The Bad: 43
23 - 43 = -20
1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
7. Push Me/Pull You: -20
Well, that wasn't good at all.
Books will come next, I think. I need to take a break before I get into the RJ/Dani stuff in the coming episodes.