3.6: Kiss Kiss
+ I have to admit to liking the opening Mike/Ashleigh scene. The music, the fog, the unrelenting, unresolved sexual tension...it did not totally offend me. But that's it. I can go no further than this. +2
+ RJ/Dani. Seriously, they get ten points (+10) just for existing.
+ Oh, Mike. You have not disappointed me in your total failure to be a farm owner! You know that whole "I'll do it later, I promise" staple from all episodes previous? That's a perfect way to run a farm into the ground. Keep at it! +3
+ RJ is a slob! (+2) Upon entering his trailer, Dani attempts to not be totally disgusted, and almost succeeds. (+2)
+ Dani's attempt to clean RJ's trailer by bringing over Estella, the Townsend maid, is awesome. +5! The fact that RJ's reaction completely mirror's Dani's reaction to his slobbiness? I'll just award that one more point for making me smile. (+1)
+ "Where did the glasses come from?" RJ does not drink from glasses (or possibly he does not know what wine glasses look like, which is not that shocking). He is manly and drinks only from beer bottles! Clearly this gets three points. (+3)
+ Thank you, Brad, for calling out the tension between you, Mike and Ashleigh. (+1) That needed to happen, because I was getting a little tired of these stupid sideways glances and damn you, Mike, for insisting everything is normal.
+ Brad works with Wonder's Pride, because he loves him and thinks he is adorable! Let's all have a mushy Brad moment. +2
+ Uncle Jesse's conversation with Mike makes sense, and I look forward to when Mike loses both Gillian and Ashleigh because he obviously is not ready to take any risks, nor does he know what he wants. Get ready to greet your lonely future, Mike. It's welcoming you with open arms. +2
+ "The princess and the cowboy are meant to be together." Due to some serious socio-economic differences between RJ and Dani, they become a little unstable in this episode. But RJ comes by to visit Dani before his six month stint in Kansas City, and she decides that they are in no way over, which is great because I need the next two episodes, guys. It's the only way I'm going to get through this season. So, plus 5! (+5)
+ Suddenly, everyone decides that it's time to go to Kansas City. Brad and Dani. Clay overreacts completely by having a heart attack. It was sort of amusing, actually. +1
The Good: 39
- Pride's leg is suddenly crooked? Had no one noticed this before? I smell more shoddy plotting. -1
- Why is everyone so computer illiterate all of a sudden? - 1! Just because.
- If you're driving from California to Little Rock, Arkansas, I wouldn't exactly say Paris, Texas is on the way to Little Rock, unless you're specifically going to Paris before you go to Little Rock. Amarillo is on the way to Little Rock. Not Paris. I know it's hard to comprehend geography if you live in Los Angeles, and maybe this is just a thing I have when people from Hollywood try to tell me that Fayetteville, Arkansas is near, say, Louisiana, but I am still deducting a point. - 1
- Clay, please stop trying to keep your kids under the same roof, making them miserable by chasing away possible love interests and generally encouraging discontent. Nothing good can come of this. Please see your heart attack at the end of this episode in case you need to reflect upon this a little more. - 2
- All the awkwardness between Mike and Brad. I get it, you guys. You both love the same girl. The thing is, I do not believe, not for one tiny little instant, that Mike/Ashleigh is in any way going to upstage the goliath that is Brad/Ashleigh. Mike/Ashleigh is just a fling being used as a road block to the eventual Brad/Ashleigh. I don't need to know the end of the show (which I do) to come to this rather obvious conclusion. - 3
- Pride's leg is going to be okay, which means Ashleigh has to randomly kiss Brad. I would normally award tons of points for this, but currently Ashleigh is pissing me off and RJ/Dani has taken over all my interest. And the kiss is forced and stupid and made me mad. - 5
- Samantha buys Pride, intending to keep him stabled at Whitebrook. Ashleigh goes bonkers with joy and randomly kisses Mike, which futher pisses me off because it is STUPID and FORCED. Not only that, it is logistically awkward. And there is bumbling when Ashleigh says the stupidest thing along the lines of "I guess it's good Samantha isn't here to see me kissing you." YES. YES I SHOULD THINK SO. Ashleigh, you whore. - 10
The Bad: -23
39 - 23 = 16
1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
Sigh, you guys. SIGH. RJ/Dani...your tragic love had better make this torture worth it.