Jun 22, 2009

Wildfire: "I don't know what this thing is!"

Wildfire
3.8: The Goodbye

+ I do grudgingly give Mike two points (+2) for seriously considering selling Wonder in the face of Ashleigh's crazy shrieking. It must be hard to remain composed when you're dealing with "a girl with a horse" and for that I commend him.

+ Suddenly we all remember that Ian owns half of Wonder. This deserves a point (+1), although Ian's passive aggressive attitude about how no one remembers this almost cancels the positive here.

+ Ash comes clean to Omar when it becomes obvious that he wants to buy Wonder, and he calls her "a girl with a horse" who will do anything to keep the horse at Whitebrook, and calls her out as a liar. This might not be true, and his insistence that he knows racehorses might be a little shaky, and this whole sequence might have really annoyed me, but I am going to get over all of this because at least Ashleigh admits her nefariousness to one other person besides Mike. (+1)

+ Brad had an attachment to his nanny. This is so Thoroughbred series! (+2)

+ Congrats, Wildfire, for producing the weirdest scene in television involving the word "thing" that does not appear to apply to anything...and then having the characters degenerate into maybe/maybe not hate kissing. I did not get this at all, but it amused me. (+4)

+ Brad and Samantha dance way better than anyone else has ever danced on this show, and Mike and Ashleigh immediately pick up on this by acting all silently jealous on the sidelines. I am awarding this five points (+5) because I like it when Brad and Samantha have fun at the expense of Mike and Ashleigh, and I also like when Mike and Ashleigh get insanely jealous over things they really should have gotten over by now.

Good: 15 (I know, I was really not thrilled with this episode.)

- Ashleigh is asking A LOT when she tells Ian he can buy out Whitebrook's share in Wonder. Because Ian doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who can handle borrowing $200,000 in order to purchase a sterile racehorse who may or may not be any good. Way to go on sending Ian down a road he shouldn't be on, Ash. -1

- There's an implication here that Ashleigh and Mike had maybe/maybe not hate sex. When I say "maybe/maybe not hate sex" I mean that they seemed to reach a lull in a heated debate over a vague subject, and decided to fill the void with kissing and zipper fondling. I am going to pretend Mike got his hands stuck in Ashleigh's hoodie and gave up any further attempts at clothing removal. (-1)

- Ashleigh's ruffle outfit and side ponytail can only deduct another point from this episode. (-1)

- This whole choosing family over various love affairs thing continues to irk me. Naturally I agree with choosing family, but I don't get how this continues to even be an issue with Brad and Ashleigh. I totally get Mike deciding to sell Wonder for the good of his family's farm over his stupid thing for Ashleigh, and I love that Brad called Ashleigh's juvenile response as the stupidity it is, but I am still confused! (-3)

- Oh, Mike, don't try to tell me you ever had your life together and went by your gut. Your life has been a constant, muddled state of privileged whining. (-2)

- Wow, the silks this time around are ugly. And actually say "Whitebrook Farm" on the back. Minus one point (-1) for not even attempting to try.

- Wonder wins the Gold Cup. I so wanted her to lose. (-5)

- Ashleigh is almost totally clean after the race, despite having come from behind to win. I laugh at your attempts to muddy her face, show. (-1)

- Ian leaves Whitebrook after pouting and acting distant after Whitebrook refuses to take his offer for Wonder seriously. And he says he leaves because he's "just an employee." Oh, Ian, does someone feel left out? Perhaps Jean should have invited you to live above her garage? (-3)

The Bad: 18

15 - 18 = -3

1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
7. Push Me/Pull You: -20
8. The Goodbye: -3

This episode benefitted greatly by my decision to not deduct points because RJ wasn't in it. I am being very kind right now, actually. Very, very kind considering all the Mike/Ashleigh that is leaving me feeling dirty and used.

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