Nov 10, 2008

Wildfire: the sexual frustration begins.

Wildfire
1.3: Trust

You know, I love this show. I don't know when this happened, exactly, but I have a feeling it has something to do with Kris punching Dani and Amber trying desperately to become a lush. Let's go over analyze this episode.

It's ninety days later. Pablo arrives at camp in his spiffy new truck (in the pilot/Rescue he was driving around this old 1930s thing, trying to keep up with Raintree's Great Depression motif, no doubt) to pick up Kris, who arrives at the gate with duffel and boom box in hand. Pablo has vague and awful news for her: Wildfire is not the same horse she remembers. You see, he has been moved too much. Too much! What the hell kind of racehorse is he going to make?

Well, the situation is hilariously serious. Wildfire has not been worked with, does not want to relate to people anymore, and mopes in his stall. Surely everyone at Raintree is pissed off that they sank the paltry amount of $650 on this horse, because they've been selling off their "good" stock in order to keep this worthless head case around. Anyway, Kris arrives back at the farm and Jean gives her rubber work boots despite everyone's critical comments on said boots. Jean's all: "It was either rubber boots or a rain coat, so shut it!" And everyone shuts up and Kris appears hesitant but thankful about the boots. Only she is too worried to appreciate them because she has to go see Wildfire. So everyone rushes over to Wildfire's stall and clusters around it like they've never seen a horse before and Wildfire nearly tramples Kris before bolting out of the barn. Jean's dad says it best: "We should have known better." No kidding, Sherlock. Cornering a supposedly screwed up horse is a fantastic idea.

So Kris is all forlorn. But not all is lost! This is when the training begins, and this involves Kris sitting in a ring with the horse. The horse, naturally, isn't amused about this and mostly ignores her. What does Kris do? Kris gets passive aggressive. "Well, fine! You don't have to like me. I don't have to be here. You're going to miss me when I'm gone, Wildfire!" Yes, really. This happens several times throughout the episode.

In other developments, Jean is further upset that all the men in the household want Kris to eat dinner with them. Oh my God, eating dinner with them might equal heightened horniness/greater chance for bastard grandchildren! And so everyone is awkward over a normal dinner, and then Kris spills the peas and you expect Jean to suddenly shriek: "Don't you dare trap my babies with your youthful sexiness!" But she doesn't. They just clean up the peas and act awkward. Oh, and Pablo stares yearningly at Jean from a distance. He tries for that smoldering obsession thing, but really it just comes across as a blank stare. Pablo is no Richard Armitage in that department. Sorry, Pablo.

Then we have the teenage antics. Everyone shows up at Raintree and decides to go to this hamburger place. It's like The Max of Saved by the Bell, only outside. Kris initially doesn't want to go, but when Dani comes along to act all flagrantly interested in Matt, Kris gets all upset and decides that yes, she does want to go because while she doesn't really want to be involved with Matt she sure as hell wants to make things more awkward. Of course! You see, Matt wanted to visit Kris while she was in camp, but Kris didn't want Matt to see her in camp, so she avoided him entirely. Because he is a 17-year-old boy and ruled by testosterone, he went back to Dani. Now Kris is back and poor Matt is confused. He wants Dani, but maybe he wants Kris more. Matt, it doesn't matter. You're the nice boy. You're not going to get the girl, okay?

Anyway, Matt doesn't know this yet, so when he and Dani get to the hamburger place he breaks up with her. Dani is shocked and pissed. Meanwhile, Junior lets Kris drive his Porsche and she is all over the road. (Later, Junior insists that she's a better driver than he is, which would then make him a completely incompetent driver.) Junior takes her to a field, where he is planning to make his move (he apparently takes all his conquests to this field, which I find rather disturbing), only Kris completely derails him and hurts his arm. She is not stupid, says she. She's only the catalyst for everyone's hormonal rage. Kris can't help that, people.

So Junior gives in and offers to take her back to the farm or wherever. Only on the way there they run into Dani, who has set this plan into motion that will involve drag racing by a cop car she just happens to know about. Junior pulls up next to Dani's Escalade. She starts to rev the engine. He pooh-poohs her attempt to entice him into a race because he's in a Porsche. It's a no-brainer, really. But Dani insists, so they race past the cop and he pulls them over and he checks everyone's IDs and decides to manhandle Kris because she's on parole. Matt and Junior are not happy about this, so they get arrested also. This is no big deal. Jean and Ken come to the rescue, tell off the cop, and bring the kids home.

Meanwhile, there is a function at the Davis farm. Kris is employed to walk a horse around at the function, which I guess is part auction, part fancy social networking event. Anyway, she walks the horse around and tells Matt, who is further sexually frustrated, that she usually falls for guys like Junior (nice foreshadowing, show!), and not nice guys like him. Then Junior apologizes for getting her arrested again, and explains that Dani had the whole thing set up. Then Kris loses it and punches Dani so hard she flies back and lands in a mountain of finger foods.

Kris is now upset, decides to leave, and is persuaded not to by Jean, who manages to get through a whole conversation with Kris without screaming "do not get pregnant!" Then Junior blackmails Dani into not pressing charges on Kris. This section I actually liked. Junior was really channeling his Brad Townsend here, if Brad had a younger sister who had been romantically linked to Mike and was a slut...I guess. But yeah, I liked that moment. He just says, "If you press charges on Kris, I'm going to tell dad that you slept with his friend. Okay! See ya, sport." Or something. I loved it. Dani completely bows to the pressure and drops all charges.

Then Kris walks out and sits with Wildfire again, who miraculously decides that he's going to wander up to Kris and be useful again, because the show needs a useful horse, not a petulant, annoying one. Everyone laughs in slow motion and that is the end.
  • Junior and Matt have a bookie. This bookie gets interested in Dani, who invites him to the event thing at their house. He shows up and meets Amber, who says, "Hi, I'm Amber." And he just looks at her and says, "And what a nice little Amber you are." Amber pouts, and then asks for his drink. He gives it to her and says, "It's water." She pouts some more. Oh, Amber. Never change.
And that's it for this episode. Junior is growing on me. Matt's inability to function is starting to grate on my nerves. Kris remains the equivalent of an emotional black hole for me. Wildfire is starting to verge on being more persnickety than Wonder, and that is a feat to be amazed by.

Happy Monday!

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