Jul 28, 2009

Wildfire: I choose Brad, okay?

3.12: Picking Sides

So I wound up taking a break for a good portion of this month. I don't know how that happened, but rest assured I am back with reviews. I'm finishing off season three of Wildfire, I've got a Canterwood Crest book in the wings, some more Thoroughbred, and Riders. Because, well, it had to happen sometime.

Before I get into the point system for this episode, I should say that this is the first time the Kentucky Derby is mentioned. Because in Wildfire, the Kentucky Derby happens in the fall and apparently any horse can run in it, regardless of age. However, that's not to say they get every possible detail wrong. It actually gets one right. However, just know in advance that this episode is all about trying to get to the Kentucky Derby...all of a sudden.

The Good:

+ The one detail they get right about the Kentucky Derby deserves five points (+5). Jean indicates that only twenty horses can get in, and this is based on a fairly basic system of graded earnings.

+ You know, Dani has very good points about how much Ashleigh sucks. And Brad has very good points on how both Ashleigh and Mike suck. I have listened to their arguments in the face of Ashleigh's stunned, blank stare, and I have really picked my side. (+2)

+ Brad is so much better at flirting than Mike, but this doesn't surprise me. The second Mike stops grabbing Ashleigh's face and saying "Om" is the moment I might give him a point because it's one less thing about him that pisses me off. (+1)

+ Dani's white dress gets a point, just because. (+1)

+ Townsend Prince wins the fictionalized Santa Anita Derby and ruins Wonder's chance at the Derby. Sweet vindication. (+1)

+ Wonder is interfered with in the stretch, and finishes third. After an inquiry, it's determined she was bumped and Mike immediately responds with, "Yes, we won!" and the steward gives him a look that screams "um, no?" and I laughed. Oh, Mike. You dope. Wonder is placed second. The Whitebrook crew cries perfect, bitter tears of sorrow. (+4)

+ Brad kisses Samantha, and I am only inclined to give this points because it will make Ashleigh and Mike stare at them uncomfortably. (+3)

The Good: 17

The Bad:

- I appreciate the one detail about the Derby they get right, yes. However, I am not liking the fact that Jean has to explain to Ashleigh what graded earnings means, nor am I too wild on her explanation that "every race is assigned a grade" because that really isn't the case. Also, why doesn't Ashleigh understand what graded races are when she "wins big races?" (-2)

- "Maybe red silks bother him?" Because changing your silks in accordance to what bothers your main competition is so easy! Well, on this show it's like every race. I am sort of stunned that they never do pick up on the fact that you can't just randomly pick up whatever silks you feel like before a race. I totally get that it's a cost saving measure. But you don't need to embrace it so obviously. (-1)

- It's fall again. No, wait, it's summer! No, still fall. Yup, fall. Damn you, Wildfire. (-1)

- Ashleigh spends most of this episode desperately trying to fashion a relationship for Mike and Brad that resembles their relationship pre-her. Much to her astonishment, this is difficult. Her irritating need to make this happen makes me dislike her more, if that is at all possible. (-4)

- Mike trots out the "don't bring him up again" ultimatum to Ashleigh regarding Junior. This makes me want to punch him in the mouth. (-5)

- The reasons behind the Ash/Brad break up were what again? Perhaps the fact that the show can't figure out why they broke up in the first place is their sticking point when they're trying to convince me Ash/Mike "just happened" and it wasn't all about Ashleigh picking between them. Boo, show. (-3)

- You guys, who likes illegal match races? I do! I do! Yeah, this sounds like it's going to work out phenomenally. (-1)

The Bad: 17

17 - 17 = 0 Ha! This makes so much sense to me.

1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
7. Push Me/Pull You: -20
8. The Goodbye: -3
9. Heartless: 40
10. Diplomacy: 29
11. You Can't Count on Me: 21
12: Picking Sides: 0

So, neither Townsend Prince or Wonder are headed to the Kentucky Derby. I find this unfortunate, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure the Derby isn't a logical race for this show. Instead we're getting a match race, which makes little sense any way you look at it. We'll get to that next time.


Heather said...

"Maybe red silks bother him?"

Wait, what? Are they talking about a horse or human competitor? Because horses can't see red. They literally lack the part of the eye structure that allows us to see red. Red looks green to horses.

Mara said...

Yeah, they're talking about a horse. It doesn't make sense for a variety of reasons.