May 5, 2009

Wildfire: This show depends far too much on Mike's stupidity.

2.12: For Love or Money

I didn't think it was possible for the "Breeders' Invitational" drama to become more convoluted, yet it somehow does. Also, I'm really feeling some remorse with Chad...not because I care about him, of course. I just feel that I should have renamed this character Tor. Oh, then my repackaging of this show as a Thoroughbred adaptation would be perfect! Well, clearly it's not like I can't proclaim a do over and start calling him Tor, which I will now do. I mean, this is my retelling, and he is now Tor. Kerry = Chad = Tor. We all good? Okay! Moving forward...

I watched this days and days ago, so I'll just hit the main points of this episode:

1. There is yet more confusion over who is going to get Samantha's vote for the Breeders' Invitational. Eventually, Ashleigh decides that the most fair thing for Samantha to do is pick the winner of a match race between Wonder and Her Majesty. Samantha, for whatever reason, thinks this is fantastic.

2. However, because picking the winner of a match race would be far too simple for this show, Wonder (Belladonna) goes into labor, and not surprisingly no one is around to help deliver this foal. (I never understood why there are tons of extras in the background of this show doing totally random things like longing horses in courtyards and such only to disappear when they're actually forever confuses me.) Ashleigh is, literally, the only one left at the stable to help out and the nearest vet is two hours away helping Jean get over Charlie's refusal to talk to her (or something). Jean tells her to call Mike, because surely he is responsible! What does Mike do? He looks at his ringing phone, says, "Let me turn this off." and turns it off. *facepalm* This is expected, Mike. Why do you have to suck so much? So Ashleigh is stuck at Whitebrook, the match race has to be stalled because not only are there no hands to help with the mare, there are no hands to drive Wonder to the track.

3. Brad and Dani have to look after the horses at Townsend Acres by themselves, and the backbreaking work motivates Brad to sell his percentage of the farm. He sells it to Samantha, who basically says, "Yeah, sure. Whatever." to Dani's proposal. Brad receives a huge chunk of cash, proclaims he hasn't loved horses since he was like eight, and then experiences a painful epiphany when Ashleigh calls him and panics about Wonder. Brad, because he is so heartbreakingly awesome, rushes to Ashleigh's side and helps with the birth, discovers his love for horses still exists, and is only verbally abused by Dani when he decides to tell her this revelation.

4. Dani manipulates Samantha into believing that Ashleigh and Wonder simply aren't showing up for the race, and I mainly blame Mike for all of this. Stop being stupid, Mike! At the end of the episode, Dani realizes that Samantha is in a relationship with Mike, and Mike scurries after Samantha like the boy toy he really, really is.

5. Tor will do "anything" for Ashleigh, and that apparently means he is also willing to stoop to granting sexual favors because he calls Ashleigh from a bed, tells her Samantha will give Wonder her vote, and in the bed next to him is Samantha, peacefully sleeping. Clearly this goes bad quickly, because only an idiot would think that this plan would somehow work. Honestly, Tor, please crash your plane now so you can stop annoying me.

Next up is the Breeders' Invitational, blackmail, and emotional explosions from everyone!

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