May 15, 2009

Wildfire: The Ritter Ramba!

2.13: Close Shave

The drama of this show jumped a few levels at the end of this season, frustrating me to no end because I loved season two. Right now, however, I would not be at all shocked if Mike suddenly procured an eye patch for himself and Dani started sitting in high backed chairs with only her gloved hand within view of the camera. Perhaps she would be doing something dastardly and making tea, or fondling a letter opener.

Well, anyway. You want to know what happens in this episode? This happens:

  • Tor is an idiot. He sleeps with Samantha and then is all shocked and angered when she informs him after the fact that she gave her vote to Dani. He's all but I traded sexual favors for nothing! and Samantha is not impressed. But by divine coincidence, which is happening a lot at the end of this season and also irritates me, some horse scratches and some other vote gets Wonder into the race. Tor is relieved. I still hate Tor, because he does something else that spurs on the asinine drama: leaves his damn watch in Samantha's room, where Dani finds it and uses it to her advantage.
  • Wonder has issues. All of a sudden. She gets over them.
  • Ashleigh decides to ride in Europe for a year or so, sparking emotional turmoil in Brad.
  • Clay comes home! And he schemes with Brad and Dani to get Townsend Acres back in their control, because Samantha has these beautiful, wonderful dreams of turning the farm into a mall. Everyone harasses Dani for caring too much about the farm, and Dani decides to take their advice and becomes even more freakishly cutthroat. She discovers who owns the watch (Tor, you idiot) and blackmails Samantha into a deal that lands her in a better position, saving the farm, blah blah blah. Then she rubs it in Clay's face. Sure, he can stay in the guest room, but his advice is no longer needed.
  • Tor tells Ashleigh he loves her, Ashleigh says absolutely nothing in response, and then he apparently crashes his plane before the Breeders' Cup. Wonder wins the race. Huzzah.
  • Brad then surprises Ashleigh by buying Wonder's still nameless foal as a gift for her, tells her he loves her, and then Tor's stupid possible death interrupts their awesomeness again. God, Tor, you're even inconvenient and annoying in death.
  • At one point Dani, Cindy, and Samantha all get together and discover they've all slept with Mike. Cindy, being by far the most irritating, says they've all done the "Ritter ramba!" And here I really wish she would have said, "Hey, we're all sluts!"
  • Dani calls Mike a coward. Oh, sing it, Dani. Sing it loud!
  • Clay's plan to secure Townsend Acres, by the way, is so stupid it makes me want to reach into the screen and smack him.

In total, we've got a season that started off really well. However, once the Ashleigh/Tor relationship got off the ground (sort of) and proceeded to smack right into the Samantha/Breeders' whatever scenario, the whole season crashed and burned. Plus, you can't base a cliffhanger on a character no one likes. Honestly, at the end of this episode, I could only ponder on how many other devices these people will dream up to interrupt a Brad/Ashleigh kiss. We know who the power couple is here, show. And I know what you're going to do in the third season. And it sickens me.

So. That's season two of Wildfire.

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