May 17, 2009

A video game that would make Cindy proud.

Let's Ride: Corral Club

My next game will be Let's Ride: Corral Club. There is no way to describe how TERRIBLE, how much of an ABOMINATION this game is!

Description (from Amazon):
Let's Ride: Corral Club lets you own and care for the horse of your dreams! Select a horse, choose a riding outfit and prepare for rodeo events. See if you can make it to the National Championship! Celebrate your accomplishments by viewing your high scores, ribbons and pictures of you and your horse. Save your memories in the Scrapbook and share photos of you & your horse with friends

First off.... this game refused to install on Vista. The Installshield would start up, go through the "preparing installation" thing then just disappear. I tried everything I could think of -- copying installation files to the HDD, patching InstallShield, editing INI files, compatibility mode, etc, etc. In the end, I didn't get it *properly* installed -- I just copied the program files from the disc. It worked fine by launching the executable.

Next - every time I tried to Alt+Tab to paste a screenshot into Paint then switched back, it'd just show a white box. Had to kill the process to get rid of it. Found a program that would take my screenshots (it's called ScreenStamp!) but it left an annoying date on the image. That's the price I pay for reviewing annoying games.

First off, the main menu:
That horrible shade of pink is enough to almost tear my eyes out. And the flowers make me want to yank out my hair at the same time.

So you start a new game and get a horse. And the default name of the horse is "Rainbow." Cindy, I wasn't aware you became a game developer, but you need to try a little bit harder. 'Cause this game SUCKS.
So you groom your horse. But it's not really grooming. 'Cause you don't have to do it -- all it is is running a brush over his coat. It doesn't make him any cleaner or any dirtier. And you can also feed him apples and carrots and of course he'll never colic.

So you can take your horse out to ride. You can choose between practice, competition, or the pasture. So I picked practice. I have no idea what happened here, but somehow the character turned invisible (stupid buggy games making the screenshots not work. DAMMIT. And stupid runaway horse called Rainbow, 'cause Rainbow is a dumb name for a horse, you hear me??)

If you happen to make a really tight turn around a barrel, the character screams "YEE-HAW!" or "VERY IMPRESSIVE!" or something equally annoying in her voice which hurts my ears. And if you ride in the competitions and win, this sugary high pitched voice says something which I can't make out because it's so high pitched and sugary and LOUD.... Damn, maybe it'll help if I turn down the speakers just a LITTLE BIT....

The pasture? Well, I thought it was going to be galloping through lush flowers and butterfly farts or something like that. But no, you get this flat field and you have to try to "beat" the time spinning around the barrels. At first they're simple, but then they get harder and harder until you get impossibly timed patterns.

My favourite thing to do in the pasture is to go around the starting line and kick the barrels around.
Basically.... this game is for 5-year-olds. The worst horse game I've ever played. And I tend to be generous when reviewing games.


Kelsey said...

It's awesome to see game reviews in here! Will you be reviewing console games at all or are you only doing PC games?

Aimee said...

I don't have any consoles (except for a water-damaged NES) and I'm not rich enough to buy one (it's a stretch to buy a $20 game) so .... no.