May 26, 2009

I just don't believe in the feud.

Wildfire
3.2: The Feud

The Good:

+ Ashleigh is busy riding horses like crazy in an attempt to earn back the money Tor stole, and she's so busy she doesn't notice that she runs into the saddling paddock in the wrong silks. Sure, this probably isn't at all likely. The important thing here is that Ian again expresses what I believe to be humor when he tells her deadpan what day and race and time it is. Oh, Ian. You're sort of awesome this season. 2 points!

+ Ashleigh apologizes to Brad for her lashing out in the previous episode, and he refuses to forgive her until she gets on the ground and "fries like bacon." She actually does it, and they commence flirting. 2 points for the randomness of that bacon thing, and 1 point for the flirting. I'm easy, okay?

+ Mike is being upfront about his being broke again. Thank you for your honesty, Mike. You are really lucky to be with Samantha, who has enough money to not care what sort of financial problems you're having. Good job! 1 point!

+ By god, someone keys us in on a vague age range for these characters. Mike is "over twenty." I know, it's obvious, but this is so ambiguous that the three references to school back in season one were starting to bother me. 1 point!

+ I hope Bobby never leaves the show. He's installed a mechanical bull in the club from last season, and he's gone to "yoga camp." He's also weirdly insightful now for a guy who was waving a gun around in the first season. Bobby, you shift gears far faster than everyone else in this show. You receive 3 points!

+ 2 points for Samantha trying to force feed a vegan dish on people who clearly just want to eat their taquitos in peace.

+ Samantha! Again with your weird character growth! Mike insists that they have always been rivals with Townsend Acres, and she insists right back that this "doesn't mean [they] have to keep doing it." Mike gives her a look like she started speaking Russian out of nowhere, so that's 2 points for Samantha, and 1 point for Mike's dumbfounded look.

+ Hey, it isn't fall anymore! It's, like, summer. For some weird reason. 1 point!

+ Brad and Ashleigh kiss! 5 points for making me giggle, which is kind of pathetic, but there you have it. I'm such a sad little shipper at this point.

+ After all the plot that goes on with Ashleigh having to sell Wonder's Pride back to Townsend Acres, Brad has an outburst at Dani and storms out of the house like he'll never return. Everyone does a basic shrug and totally ignores him. The Townsend family dysfunction is the best kind. 3 points!

+ Need to clear your head? Ride the mechanical bull! Plus 3 points!

Good: 27

The Bad:

- While Ashleigh is taking a brief break from riding horses like crazy, Mike saunters in and is all, "Why are you doing work? You don't even like riding horses that aren't Wildfire." Mike, shut up. Finally someone is doing something that resembles work on this show and you're acting shocked and awed. You know what, never mind. This is classic you. Minus 1!

- I disagree with putting clips in your hair in a halfhearted attempt at pigtails. It looks like Caroline appeared and tried to inflict bad hair styling on Ashleigh, and I think we all know how that always ended up. Minus 1.

- Why does Ashleigh need MORE TIME to figure out whether or not she and Brad need to move forward? Seriously, show, this is getting rather ridiculous. Minus 2! But...Brad is so adorable in this scene and so freakishly patient and...plus 2! Just, you know, never mind.

- "We'll fight fire with Wildfire!" Oh, Mike. You need to stick to angsting. Minus 1!

- I'm glad to know that not only will Ashleigh whore herself out for her horse, she will whore her horse out for Whitebrook. Wildfire does kids parties now! Minus 3! But Dani one ups them by buying the kid a pony, thereby clinching the all important child vote on where this kid's father will board his horses. I hated this scene. It might be one of the stupidest scenes this show has ever dreamed up. Minus 4!

- "I hear you two make quite the team!" NO! Brad, do not say that of Ashleigh and Mike. I know what you're doing, show, and I don't like it one bit! Minus 5!

- Mike goes to horse boarder guy and delivers a speech about how great Whitebrook is and how horses are blah blah inspiring blah and I'm supposed to believe this when in just the last episode he's all, "what is this horse stuff, huh?" I don't buy this at all. And of course it works. This client makes the worst decisions. Minus 2.

- "The Reeses need me!" There goes Ashleigh again on her insistence at pitting her relationship with Brad against her adoptive (but not) family. Why do they do this? And why does Brad back all of this up by doing the exact opposite? Minus 2! And minus another point (1) for dangling the prospect of getting the power couple back together again, only to yank it away. I kind of hate you, show.

- Dude, Brad, it's called follow through. If you buy a horse and give the horse to someone else, you have to have the paperwork changed. Or at least have a bill of sale. Minus 2. BUT, at the same time, how did he purchase the horse from Whitebrook to begin with if Townsend Acres is on all of Pride's paperwork? Minus another point for shoddy plotting! And there goes Wonder's Pride to live at Townsend Acres.

Bad: 23

27 - 23 = 4

So, to keep track:
1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4

Wow, that Brad/Ashleigh kiss did not help this episode at all.

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