Apparently the price of fame is to look goofy and wear hideous pink shirts. TB #64: The Price of Fame.

The Price of Fame
Thoroughbred #64
By Mary Newhall
April 2004

Christina saved Star from a stalker, but can she protect him from Brad Townsend?

When Christina first moved Star to Townsend Acres to keep him safe from his stalker, she couldn't stand the thought of keeping him under Brad's roof. But now that they've settled in, she can't complain: The facilities are great and Brad is keeping a polite distance. But just when Christina begins to let down her guard, she makes a shocking discovery. …

It turns out Brad is under a great deal of pressure from his investors to produce more moneymaking horses—horses bred from winners like Star and Light Fandango, a descendant of the famous Kentucky Derby winner Northern Dancer. Christina begins to suspect that Brad will force her to breed Star with one of his mares as payment for boarding Star. Christina will do anything to keep Star safe from Brad, but will she have a choice?

The Summary:

This is probably the most accurate summary I've read lately.  In fact, I considered just copy and pasting the first paragraph below, because that's basically the deal:  Townsend Acres is beautiful and well-managed, but Christina and Melanie wonder what on earth they're doing there.  Of course, you have to deduct about six points for the two famous horsie references in the second paragraph.

The Cover:

Oh man.  I'm pretty sure this travesty was the reason I wanted to get back into writing recaps.  That, and because it pays so well.  Anyway, the style is just completely bizarre, sort of like a cross between anime and CGI.  Or is anime all computer-generated these days anyway?  Well, whatever.  It looks 100% strange and cartoonish.  Christina's eyes (assuming that's Christina) are as big as Star's and I guess it's just the angle at which she's lovingly and protectively lying across his neck, but she also looks like the fattest jockey in existence.

The Plot:

So after Christina's questionable taste in new friends, she retreats to Townsend Acres with Star, even though the stalker left for California at the end of the last book.  I'm not completely clear on why Christina didn't just take Star back to Whitebrook and agree not to befriend any more weirdo stalkers, but I guess they had to get Christina to TA somehow, since, as we all know, Melanie isn't good enough to carry a plot on her own.  I mean, it wasn't good enough that Melanie wanted to be a jockey and Christina wanted to event, oh nooooo, Christina had to want to race too.  Whatever.  So Melanie is working with Jinx, who is even crazier than Image.  She's also agreed to let Brad breed Image to Celtic Mist.

The first third or so of this book involves Townsend Acres being beautiful and well-managed, but Christina and Melanie wondering what on earth they're doing there.  Christina overhears Brad and Lavinia talking about a syndicate meeting that Brad has to attend.  Apparently this means that Brad sells shares of his horses to investors so he can keep having cash to make improvements to his beautiful, well-managed farm.

Brad invites Christina and Melanie to dine with him (complete with "chilled forks"—is that a thing?) and asks them to exercise-ride some horses for Ralph Dunkirk.  Most of this dinner is actually taken up by Brad's snide comments about Christina and her parents.  Confession time:  I am not a big Brad fan.  I don't think he's Batman and I had a really hard time writing that Brad/Ashleigh challenge ficlet that Mara asked for one time.  But here he's probably the most interesting he's been since the OG books because everything he says is true:  Ashleigh and Mike have never really shown off Whitebrook.  Almost every great winner they've had did come from TA bloodlines (except for Glory, and TA owns half of Glory anyway).  Brad says, "The animals we breed and train are income-producing stock. The challenge of breeding for racing excellence, to become the best, is what it's all about."  Christina counters with, "Horses are glorious, magnificent creatures with personalities, and there's nothing so wonderful as connecting with one of them," and while that's probably what we're supposed to think, it sounds pretty ridiculous right this moment.  There was an early Saddle Club book that featured horse-racing and Carole coming to the realization that some horses are not just for fun and worth a couple hundred or maybe a thousand dollars; for some, they are big money and it's almost like they're not the same animal as a pleasure horse at all.  Sorry, Christina, but I think you lose this round.

Oh, and this is so important that it gets its own paragraph:  after Christina's little declaration, Brad comes back with, "I don't need to get attached to the horses to enjoy the benefits they provide me."  I guess maybe it's true; he never did love another horse after they had to destroy Townsend Prince.

Christina rides some horses with incredibly stupid names:  Townsend's Silver Spoon, TA Illumination, and Pride's Light Fandango.  Light Fandango is the one who's supposed to be important, because he has Northern Dancer bloodlines (famous horsie reference of the book).  Also, I think some of those names exceed the 18-character limit, unless that's supposed to mean "Silver Spoon who belongs to Townsend" and "Light Fandango who belongs to Pride" … no, that doesn't make any sense.

Surprising no one, Light Fandango is amazing and all that.  Ralph asks her to ride him in the Kentucky Cup.  At first Christina says no, because "Brad would never want me to race a Townsend Acres horse."  Ralph says that's true (zing!) but they need a jockey, so Christina says yes.  Jinx has been performing well, so Melanie plans to enter him in the Kentucky Cup.  She can't believe it when Christina says she's agreed to ride Light Fandango for TA.  Christina tells Ashleigh, who is clearly pissed but decides to go the passive-aggressive route and say she doesn't mind.

The Kentucky Cup happens (that was quick).  Melanie wins on Jinx, Christina brings Light Fandango in second, one of Ghyllian Hollis' colts runs third, and a Whitebrook horse named American Jazz is fourth.  Light Fandango is really tired, so Ralph says they'll leave him at the track overnight.  Christina gets back to TA just in time to find Brad showing off for the investors, who do not seem impressed.  They don't want Celtic Mist's bloodlines, they want a Wonderpony, and Brad failed in his quest to get Champion back to TA.  They ask if Star will stand stud at TA.

Christina freaks out and wants to move Star right away, accusing Brad of planning this.  Brad just rolls his eyes and tells her, "I didn't find someone to stalk your horse so that I could offer to let you keep Star here, I didn't call my foreign investors and invite them to have an unplanned stockholders' meeting so that I could show off Star and Image, and I didn't tell them Star is mine."  Brad tries three different tactics:  first he tells her, "We're really not all that different, you and I. We both like to compete and we both like to win. … For all your righteousness, you're as aggressive and focused as I am. The big difference is that I recognize it in myself, and I'm okay with it."  When that doesn't work, he says that if she loves Parker, she should want Brad to be successful so he can inherit TA someday.  When that still doesn't work, Brad tells her that if she takes Star away from TA, he'll buy Image from Jazz.  Well, that does it.  Christina's not sure what to do.

Melanie gets back to the farm and gets a call from Jazz.  Turns out Brad has already made the offer, and Jazz is considering it.  Melanie is heartbroken.

Christina spends several pages stewing and moping, until she comes up with a brilliant plan.  (Note generous use of "brilliant" in that sentence.)  She goes to Whitebrook to talk it over with Ashleigh and Mike.  They agree, but to draw out the suspense, we don't find out what the plan is for about 10 pages.

Christina goes back to TA with a ginormous check for Brad—the amount of money she won in the Belmont.  Christina says it's to pay for Image's therapy and for Brad to relinquish his interest in her first foal.  She and Brad get to do a little more verbal sparring, in which Brad tells her that "I get the same thrill out of cutting a smart business deal as you get winning a race. We have different priorities, but it's all about using your skills to come in first," and Christina can't really disagree.  In the end, Brad agrees, but adds one condition to the deal:  "A breeding with Star to the mare of my choice."  Christina figures he's just trying to get a foal out of Image, so she stipulates, "Any mare that is owned by TA."  Brad grimaces and says, "You outmaneuvered me on that one," which I don't really get.  I mean, they haven't signed anything, so they could just as easily continue to argue about it (though maybe the whole point is that Christina figured out what Brad was trying to get out of the condition?).  Christina's final condition is that Brad not tell Melanie or Parker about their deal.  Brad tells Christina that he'll call Jazz and she should get off the farm that night.

Then we have one more chapter in which Image is no one's Wonderpony and refuses to get on the damn trailer, and Christina and Melanie go back to Whitebrook and we end with a scene so sappy it rivals Full House, in which "all the nice stuff in the world doesn't mean a thing if it doesn't feel like home."  Thanks, Ashleigh.  That would mean a lot more coming from you if you weren't the worst mother since Alice Wakefield.

Points of Interest:

• Ah, OG canon check:  passed!  "Aunt Caroline" did indeed date Brad before he met Lavinia.
  
• Melanie is thinking of "Misty Image" as a name for the foal.  That's great Mel, because we don't have enough horses that sound like My Little Ponies.  I guess that's better than Perfect Celtic.
  
• One of the investors says that Townsend Pride "hasn't sired a foal of any renown for years."  If he were still alive, he'd been awfully old by this time.  In Ashleigh's Diary he is four, which I've always thought was a bit of a weird retcon given that Wonder would have been conceived that year, and the way they were talking about Townsend Pride's foals, it seemed like he'd been at stud for a lot longer than that.  But okay, if we accept that he was born when Ashleigh was seven, he'd be 35 years old now.  Maybe he needs horse Viagra.

Next up:  Sorry, I forgot that The Price of Fame hadn't been recapped, so next it really is the Samantha weddingfest of Bridal Dreams.

Try not to yawn as much through this recap as I did through the book. Thoroughbred #60: Taking the Reins

Taking the Reins
Thoroughbred #60

By Jennifer Chu

August 2003

It's time for Christina and Melanie to make some big decisions.

Christina loves being a jockey. But a heartbreaking accident at the Belmont track forces her to reconsider veterinary medicine. Working with a horse that has Charismatic's bloodlines reminds Christina of Charismatic's amazing story—how he unexpectedly won the Derby and the Preakness in 1999, only to go down in the Belmont with a broken leg. It would feel pretty great to help horses in similar situations. But how can she turn her back on Wonder's Star?

Meanwhile, Melanie finds her relationship with her cousin strained when she decides to ride a horse for the very couple Christina holds responsible for her accident. For Melanie, her prospects as a jockey seem clear, but her future with the people she loves—Christina, Jazz, and even Image—is less certain. How will Melanie prove to Christina that she puts the people she loves first?

The Summary:

I will give it a generous 2/10.  Yes, there is a heartbreaking accident.  Christina goes on and on about being a vet (again).  Other than that, everything, including that entire second paragraph, is bullshit.  Their relationship is strained for, like, maybe half a page.

The Cover:

Um, the less said about this travesty, the better.  Are there even stirrups on that saddle?  Why does Christina look like she's riding a rocking horse?  Why is that horse's head a veiny mess?  (Though to be fair, if I were having a "heartbreaking accident," my face would probably be a veiny mess too.)  Also, let's note that the front-cover tag says "Will Charismatic's tragedy cause Christina to give up her dreams of being a jockey?"  Sorry, HarperCollins, not even close.

The Plot:

This book zips back and forth between Christina and Melanie, until it doesn't anymore.  So chapter 1 is a Christina chapter.  We pick up after the Belmont—literally right after; Christina's still standing in the winner's circle talking to reporters—when Christina runs into Patrick and Amanda Johnston, those annoying California people.  They ask her to ride one of their fillies, Noble Answer (Nobie). Christina and Parker get back together … right before he goes back to England and she stays at Belmont for the rest of the summer.  Yeah, that makes sense.

Chapter 2:  Melanie wins a race on Blue Streak for the Johnstons.  She talks to Jazz on the phone.  Jazz tells her that Image is doing well, but Brad's served them with a massive bill, shocking no one.  Melanie angsts about whether she should give Image's first foal to Brad to pay the bills.

Chapter 3:  Christina rides some horses for the Johnstons and agrees to ride Matter of Time (Matt) in the Suburban.  She goes out to dinner with Aaron, and tells him that she got back together with Parker.  Burn.  Aaron gets sick, and Christina exercises Calm Before the Storm (Callie).

Chapter 4:  Melanie and Jazz have a hot date that includes walking Image and eating turkey and ham sandwiches.  Damn, they rival Christina and Parker for Passionate Romance of the Thoroughbred Century.  Jazz says he wants to buy another racehorse.

Chapter 5:  Christina rides Callie in a race.  He stumbles.  She's not sure what to do, but he keeps running, so she lets him … until he stumbles again.  He goes down, shattering some bones and tearing some tendons.  They haul him off to the vet clinic, which I think is the same as when they tell us at the shelter that a cat went to "the barn program."

Chapter 6:  Melanie asks Cindy for advice about being a jockey.  I’m not sure that Cindy is the right person to ask about this.  Melanie goes to Whitebrook for dinner with Ashleigh, Mike, Ian, Beth, Kevin, Sammy, Tor, Cindy, Ben … Jesus, what is this, a Whitebrook reunion?  These characters actually still talk to each other?  You could've fooled me. Christina calls to tell them about the accident.

Chapter 7:  The vet, Dr. Reuter, tries to operate on Callie, but he has "no chance of a meaningful recovery."  His owner, Marisa, agrees to have him put down.  Christina asks to see him, but the vet says that "he's in too much pain to recognize anyone."  Ahh, not bad work here, Jennifer, 'cause sometimes this is true.  (I may be a little bitter about this trope, having recently reread Goodbye, Midnight Wanderer.)  Christina gets all self-flagellating (wow, that sounds dirty) and blames herself for Callie's death.

Chapter 8:  Melanie goes to Belmont.  The Johnstons offer her a ride on one of their horses, Enigmatic, if Christina doesn't take it.

Chapter 9:  Christina is nervous and insecure about riding.  She lets Charisma get away from her during a work.  She's called to an inquiry about Callie's death.  She wonders if the Johnstons rushed him back to the track before he was sound.  Christina declines the ride on Enigmatic, and Amanda tells her that they already asked Melanie as a backup.  Christina proceeds to flip out and wonder how Melanie could possibly consider riding for such awful people who would kill a poor innocent defenseless horse.  Honestly, even for Christina, this is a stretch.

Chapter 10:  Melanie rides Enigmatic.  The stewards have dismissed the inquiry into Callie's death.  Christina is all sulky and crap, until Aaron shows her a tape of the race and she can't see the moment when Callie first stumbled.  After that, she's still all sulky and crap, but tells Melanie she just needs some time, and that she wants to be a vet.  Well, that wasn't so bad.  Only a few books of angsting and moaning; we're making progress here.

Chapter 11:  Christina tours Dr. Reuter's Super Secret Outer Space Other Hemisphere Ten Way vet facility and is all jazzed about being a vet, but decides she has to keep her word to the Johnstons and ride Matt in the Suburban.

Chapter 12:  Jazz comes to Belmont.  He tells Melanie that he made a deal with Brad:  they'll breed Image to Celtic Mist, and Jazz and Brad will share ownership of the foal 51-49.  Jazz and Melanie agree to look for another racehorse.

Chapter 13:  Christina rides Matt in the Suburban.  She's overly cautious, and at first he's 15 lengths off the lead.  Then she decides to snap out of it, and eventually brings him in third.  And thus ends Christina's racing career (I hope).  Thank God.  I've been waiting for this since book 40.

Points of Interest:

• This book is dedicated to "Barbara, Charlene, Cindy, Dominique, Marisa, and Patrick in honor of all our undergrad adventures," who all pop up as characters.  Barbara, Charlene, and Dominique are Melanie and Katie's friends; Marisa is Callie's owner, and of course Patrick is Patrick Johnston.  There's no Cindy, I guess because it would be too confusing with real!Cindy.  I can't decide if I find this sweet or annoying.
  
• We all know that Jennifer Chu was a fan of the books before she ever wrote any of them, which I normally like, but she's very hit-or-miss about the little details she throws in.  She tells us that Cindy missed riding Honor Bright, which is correct; she would've been eighteen (and in Dubai, then New York) when Honor was three.  We also find out that Honor and Glory's daughter, Honor and Glory (how's that for creative?  They must've really been missing Cindy's magic touch with the naming there), ran third in the Derby the year Christina was ten.  However, Jennifer also feels the need to remind us that "Cindy had played a large role in March to Glory's training. The horse had set a record in the Breeders' Cup Classic and had been named Horse of the Year after his three-year-old season."  As if anyone could have forgotten (and believe me, some of us tried).
  
• Also, Christina later rides March to Honor, another of Honor and Glory's foals.  I hope they didn’t have more than two; what would they have called it, March to Bright?
  
• In a well-meaning but misguided attempt to comfort Christina, Melanie tells her, "You have to believe that Callie will make it, just like Raven and Image did."  Yeah, that helps a lot, Melanie.  So far, I guess the accident count is Melanie 1, Christina 2.
  
• Whitebrook has a horse named Charisma, a daughter of Pride, not to be confused with Charismatic, who won the Derby and the Preakness in 1999 but broke down in the Belmont.  His jockey, Chris Antley, acted quickly to save his life.  Does that sound familiar?  I hope so, because that's your Famous Horsie reference of the book.
  
• Melanie thinks that maybe "Enigma" would be a good nickname for "Enigmatic."  She really has  been spending time with Cindy.
  
• Is it bad that I keep getting this book mixed up with Breaking the Fall?   Not on the basis of plot, just on the basis of title.  (Or maybe on the basis of plot after all; I think Breaking the Fall also features Christina and Melanie supposedly having a "fight" of some sort.)  I was always sort of glad that the Thoroughbred titling convention stayed far, far away from the Baby-Sitters Club-esque style of "Christina and the Broken Leg of Doom," but at the same time, it would be nice if the titles actually helped you keep the storylines straight.

Next up:  The hideously-titled Parker's Passion, already reviewed by Claire.  Next up from me:  I can't believe I'm about to say this, but in comparison to this festival of tedium, I'm almost looking forward to the Samantha Diary of Exposition.

I feel inspired, oh so inspired. Thoroughbred #59: Star's Inspiration

Star's Inspiration
Thoroughbred #59
By Mary Anderson
June 2003

It's Star's last strike. …

Christina Reese has always known that Wonder's Star is special. But as the third race in the Triple Crown approaches, it's unclear whether Star is up to the challenge. The competition is getting tougher every minute, and Christina's so stressed out, she wonders whether all the pressure she's feeling will affect Star's concentration.

But then Christina gets some fantastic tips from an unexpected source: a jockey who claims to have raced the legendary 1977 Triple Crown winner, Seattle Slew. Star and Seattle Slew have more in common than Christina ever realized. With this new advice—and the amazing support of her family and friends—Christina feels ready to take on the world at the Belmont! But will Star come through?

The Summary:

Oh look! A big fat 0% on this one. I guess Star's imaginary three-paragraph illness is supposed to be the "is Star up to the challenge?" part. Christina is far less stressed-out and annoying than she was before the Preakness, and she never actually talks to said legendary jockey at all. One point for both Seattle Slew and Star nearly dying of a viral infection, but otherwise, that's a solid F+, HarperEntertainment.  

The Cover:

What on earth is Christina wearing? It looks like a polyester business suit. The shoulderpads, the ribbons … is she riding in the Belmont, or going to be a secretary in the 1970s? Also, apparently Whitebrook's colors have become black and blue, not blue and white, and I'm not sure Christina's helmet is fastened there, so it's good she didn't fall off in this book. I'm going to guess that on the left, that's Emilio Casados on Celtic Mist, so I'll give them credit for a) the horse being a gray, and b) the jockey wearing some shade of green, although I'm pretty sure that's a green sport coat he's wearing. And to the right, on the black-ish horse … what is that, the pink blob of Belmont?

The Plot:

Christina is in the starting gate for the Belmont, having a flashback to the way Image broke her leg during the Derby two books ago. Damn, that was quick. No 150 pages of whining and moping before the Belmont? No, never fear, life would never be that kind, for it turns out that it's just a dream and Ashleigh wakes Christina up.

Then we get into a rehash of basically all the things that happened in the last book, such as: Parker is worried about Brad's designs on Melanie and Image. Christina is not sure what she wants to do after high school and after Star finishes racing. Dani tells Christina how glad she is she's going to college and how excited she is to be a vet. Image won the Derby, Celtic Mist won the Preakness, and Wild 'n' Free (that colt from Celtic Meadows) came in second in the Preakness. Wait, I think some of this was already rehashed in the last book. Well, that's okay, there's nothing like a good comprehension check in the middle of the story. There's going to be a quiz at the end, you know.

Ashleigh, Melanie, and Christina visit Ghyllian Hollis and Vince Jones at Celtic Meadows, which is apparently the U.S. offshoot of the main facility in Shannon, Ireland. Hmm, I bet this will be important in about seven books or so. Vince is looking for a jockey for a colt named Celtic Knot. Melanie is riding for Townsend Acres, so Christina says yes.

Christina wins a race on Charisma, and brings Celtic Knot in second. Melanie comes in second on two Townsend Acres horses. She's clearly been drinking the Kool-Aid, because when Brad suggests breeding Celtic Mist to Image, Melanie says that might be "one incredible foal." Don't worry, though; Vicky Frontiere is still there to reaffirm that we hate Townsend Acres and she doesn't want to ride for them.

Ian calls the track in a panic to say that Star is sick, but by the time they get home, he's fine. I guess this is supposed to interject half a chapter of tension into the story before we finally make it to the Belmont in Chapter 10. The next day Christina exercises Gratis because Wolf quit working at Tall Oaks after he was suspended after the Preakness. Christina suggests that Cindy ask Melanie to ride Gratis in the Belmont.

Christina and Melanie graduate from high school and go out to dinner with Ashleigh, Mike, Samantha, Tor, and Parker. Samantha and Tor announce that they're having a baby. For some reason they don't go out with Ian, Beth, and Kevin (who is not mentioned in this book at all, but in later books they talk about how he's going to college in the fall). I might as well take this moment to rant about the fact that this is not possible at all. Melanie was born in the spring, Christina was born on Christmas, and Kevin was born the next spring. There's no way the three of them would be in the same class. Either Henry Clay has a September 1 cutoff, which means that Christina and Kevin could be in the same class but Melanie couldn't, or else they have a January 1 cutoff, which means that Melanie and Christina could be in the same class but Kevin couldn't. I can't begin to guess. My only fanon theory is that maybe Melanie got held back at some point. But trying to make this work logically is like trying to make the ages for Sweet Valley Twins line up, so I just don't even try anymore.

They take Star to Belmont and meet some famous people: Karen Taylor, Seattle Slew's owner; and Jean Cruguet, Slew's jockey. Oooh, I bet one of these people is supposed to be Star's inspiration. Five dollars, anyone? Cindy takes Christina to visit the farm where Legacy is at stud. The farm isn't all that nice, but the people are. They tell Christina and Cindy how much they love Legacy and how sweet he is. On the way back, Christina point-blank admits, "I never should have let him go." This is a rehash from earlier books too, but I like the way this whole thing plays out: Christina admits she was a brat, although probably no more so than most twelve-year-olds; we continue to acknowledge that Ashleigh was wrong to push racing so hard; and Legacy is fine, it's just sad that Wonder's supposedly-last baby never really got a chance. Bittersweet stuff all around.

Then we get back to Belmont and morph into a crossover with The Saddle Club: Speed.com has been stolen! Speed.com, if you remember, is trained by Alexis Huffman, who worked (dishonestly) for Fredericka Graber when she still owned Tall Oaks. I think I have that right. Check out the recap for #44: Perfect Image if you want to know more. Christina remembers that before the Preakness, Speed.com looked like he might be going lame. She speculates that Alexis arranged for him to be stolen. Gasps all around. All right, now let's get Deborah Hale to write an article and we will skulk around and get people to admit that … whoops, wrong series. Instead, Christina and Melanie skulk around in a car and try to find the horse. Right, because whoever stole him would be keeping him in a paddock next to the highway. They see a horse that they think could be Speed.com, and report it to the track security manager. Christina tells Melanie she's thinking of becoming a vet.

They draw positions for the Belmont:
Gratis – gate 1
Magnifique – 2
Derry O'Dell – 3
Wild 'n' Free – 4
Star – 5
Celtic Mist – 6
TV Time – 7
War Ghost – 8

For those keeping track, there were 9 in the Derby and 9 in the Preakness. I don’t know who we're missing—Ingleside, I guess. Granted, I know there have been small fields in the Belmont before, but I suspect that this painstaking listing of horses/gates/jockeys is because we're supposed to feel a deep kinship (or at least name recognition) with all these horses, and I really haven't been paying enough attention for that to work.

There's a pre-race party at Will and Susan Graham's the night before. There are a whole bunch of people there: Magnifique's owner, Ghyllian Hollis, Jilly Gordon and Craig Avery (hey, remember them? I'm sure they WON'T become an important plot point in about ten books). Will announces that they found Speed.com after Christina and Melanie's anonymous tip led them to a farm outside Elmont. It turns out Alexis did, indeed, engineer the theft of her own horse. Way to go, Christina and Melanie. That was the most boring Saddle Club mystery ever.

Finally, the goddamn Belmont happens. At first Star breaks badly, then he gets blocked in, then sees a hole and goes for it. She tries to keep Star under control, then remembers what Jean Cruguet said about Seattle Slew: "He just hung on and let the horse run the race his way." This is truly hilarious because the only person who ever actually said those words was Cindy, who was quoting something she read. Though really, Cindy probably would have been about as much help as Jean Cruguet here. A mere 118 words later, in the most underwhelming race scene/denouement ever, Star wins the Belmont. Turns out Parker came to watch the race and kisses Christina (even though they were still broken up or something like that), and Christina knows that "everything was going to be just perfect." Ugh.

There is a super-inspiring biography of Seattle Slew at the end. I guess it's supposed to be inspiring because Seattle Slew "nearly los[t] his jockey, Jean Cruguet, at the start of the 1977 Kentucky Derby" just like Star and Christina did here? I don't even know.

So there's your Triple Crown, folks.
Derby: Image, Mist, Gratis
Preakness: Mist, Wild 'n' Free, Gratis (disqualified), Star
Belmont: Star, Gratis, Mist. (Not sure about place and show—Gratis and Mist were fighting it out down to the wire but they don't confirm the exact finish. But it's not really supposed to matter because Star won !1!!1eleventyone!!)

Points of Interest:

• The vapor lights make an early appearance in chapter 1.
• At one point, Ashleigh says, "We had some great years at Edgardale when I was young" and gives a "heavy sigh." Christina knows "her mother must be thinking about the horses they had lost because of the epidemic." Ah, very observant, Christina. Good thing you want to become a vet and not a psychologist.
• For the party, Christina wears a "sleeveless blue-and-white dress." Okay, we get it, Christina. You like your horsies. You are allowed to pick other colors, you know. Maybe something else would set off your ever-changing hair better.
• Jilly is described as the person who "jockeyed Ashleigh's Wonder until a broken leg kept her from racing, forcing Ashleigh to get her jockey's license so that she could ride Wonder in the Breeder's Cup." Which is actually mostly correct. +1 for Mary.

Next up: the Breeder's Cup! No, just kidding. It's another Jennifer Chu book, which means those California people will be back.

Christina's Shining Star is not all that shiny. Thoroughbred #58: Christina's Shining Star

Christina's Shining Star
Thoroughbred #58
By Mary Anderson
April 2003

Can Christina and Star pull off a victory?

As Christina Reese's high school graduation draws near, she's filled with questions and not enough answers. Has she sacrificed too much to follow her dream of taking Wonder's Star to the top? She and Star failed to place in the Kentucky Derby. Can they win the Preakness and still have time for Parker, Melanie, the prom, and graduation?

An unexpected brush with the trainer of Affirmed—the famous 1978 Triple Crown winner—not only leaves Christina with some amazing insights, but confirms her belief in Star. Will Christina be able to show everyone how special Star is? Or will her doubts and distractions keep them out of the running … again?

The Summary:

Eh, 50% credit. I think they could have left out everything except the last two sentences, because that's basically what this book is about. It's amazing how you can stretch three weeks to fill 160 pages.  

The Cover:

I don't know what happened -- they must have switched to a new artist or something -- but starting with this book, some of the covers have this weird, cartoony, almost video-game-ish look to them. (Just wait till I get my hands on you, The Price of Fame.) I guess Star is curving his head around from his body, although it looks kind of like Christina has her hands on two different horses here. And what is she wearing? Is it ... the uniform of a Catholic schoolgirl? The puff sleeves that Anne Shirley so wistfully coveted in Anne of Green Gables? Yet another style of Whitebrook silks? The world may never know. What I object to most is the tagline "Can the legendary racehorse Affirmed inspire Star to glory?", which has little to nothing to do with the inspiration that actually happens in this book. Also, Affirmed died in 2001.  

The Plot:

In one of those awesome split-book-type-scenes, Christina's Shining Star picks up from the end of the Kentucky Derby. While Image is shooting across the finish line and breaking her leg, Star is getting boxed in and finishing dead last. The rest of this chapter is a total loss, since it helpfully informs us of things like the fact that Celtic Mist came in second, Gratis came in third, and Image gets moved to Townsend Acres to recover. This is why split-screen tends to work better in movies than books.

As for the actual book, it basically follows a pattern of something happening and then Christina whining and moping. She and Ashleigh have a couple of arguments about why Star got boxed in. One night at dinner she plays with her food, lining up her veggies " so that they formed the same bunching that had held Star up during the Derby." Aside from the fact that it makes Christina sound like she's two years old, this is kind of cute because it reminds me of the time she made a jump course out of her food. How times have changed.

Christina takes a little break from moping to go to the prom with Parker, but she puts her foot in it by asking Katie who came up with the theme, when Katie has told her several times that she was in charge of the decorations. Oops. The night gets even better when Parker tells her point-blank, "Your ego got in the way," and "if you had been more focused on the quality of horses Star was running against and not stuck on the idea that Star deserved to win, you might have done better." Christina throws a hissy fit and demands that Parker take her home, then wonders "why life had to be so complicated."

The next day, Cindy and Samantha come over to talk to Ashleigh about some breedings, including Sterling to Jazzman. Because he was trained as a jumper. Just like that time he ran in the Pimlico Special. Boy, there sure are some great jumps on that track, aren't there? Anyway, Christina whines and mopes to Cindy and Sammy how stressed she is, what with racing Star and fighting with Ashleigh and taking some finals in those, like, two classes she attends. One of them is "contemporary world problems." I'm not sure what that means. Maybe it's to show that Christina's whining and moping issues are nothing in the grand scheme of things. No, more likely it's to show that Christina's problems are as weighty as the problems of the world. Speaking of which, Katie is still ticked off at Christina, which is just so rude and unsympathetic because doesn't Katie know that Christina is the only teenager in the history of the world who's ever ridden in a horse race?

 Ashleigh and Christina fight some more about how Christina didn't pay attention during the Derby and needs to do better in the Preakness. At this point, and we're only about a quarter of the way through the book, I want to drop both of them in a pile of manure. You know, I feel bad for Ashleigh most of the time because it seems like she spends a lot of time caught up in boring administrative stuff and not doing what she wants to do, but all she seems to be doing here is telling Christina she needs to do better without actually giving her suggestions about how to do it better. Maybe that's Ian's job. He's still around, isn't he?

 The next day, a reporter shows up at the farm and writes a bitchy article about Christina and Star, which causes Christina to whine and mope. She goes to visit Melanie at her fancy Townsend Acres cottage and whines and mopes on the way home. She goes over to Tall Oaks and whines and mopes so much that Cindy suggests that she bring Star over to train there so she can get away from Ashleigh. Cindy also says that Gratis is such a handful because he has both Affirmed and Alydar in his bloodlines. Get it? AFFIRMED and ALYDAR? Remember those guys? Oh, do you not know who they are? Well, that's okay, because we will be glad to explain it to you! Honestly, sometimes these characters walk around sounding like they've swallowed Wikipedia.

Cindy thinks it's great to have Christina at Tall Oaks because Wolf needs to learn some good old-fashioned jockey manners. I don't think Christina is the person to teach him about that, but okay, whatever you want, Cindy. She and Christina go on a trail ride, and Cindy says she's going to start taking courses at community college this fall, so that she can be "more of a help to Tall Oaks than just a horse trainer." Very subtle. Of course, Cindy is the one who came up with "Wonder's Champion," so … never mind. Wolf and Christina work their horses together, and Christina accuses him of interfering with her, but Wolf tells her that he never touched her and she's just being too timid. Christina whines and mopes.

Christina takes Star to Pimlico a few days before the Preakness, where she just happens to run into Steve Cauthen, who won the Triple Crown on Affirmed in 1978. Right, Affirmed! Remember him? The horse we were just talking about? Purely coincidental, of course. Anyway, Ghyllian Hollis and Vince Jones are also there with a colt called Wild 'n' Free, also a descendant of Affirmed, who's racing in the Preakness too. I think we're supposed to care, but honestly, I have a hard time keeping track of all these different farms/horses and which ones are supposed to win/place/show in which races. Later, some other awesome horse named Magnifique turns up too, and he is magnificent. Get it?

Christina overhears some of the other jockeys talking about Wolf's reckless riding style, but decides not to say anything to him, particularly after he makes fun of her for losing a race on another one of Ghyllian Hollis' horses. Dani tells Christina more than she ever wanted to know about her college course schedule, which is "worth the effort because I'll be able to help the animals I love." Is anyone seeing a pattern here, or is it just me? No? Just me. Okay then.

Brad and Lavinia come by Star's stall, explaining to a group of investors (? Friends? Groupies?) that Christina bought out his interest in Star, and that they are so pleased that she's turned him back into a nice riding horse, even if he no longer has the competitive spirit. Christina rallies and says Brad is lucky "to be able to buy a colt with such good bloodlines, since you couldn't produce one worthy of the Triple Crown at Townsend Acres." Oooh, if this were a movie, there would be a cool sound effect right now. Ghyllian Hollis comes by to agree that Brad is a pompous jerk and to invite Christina to a party that night, where she runs into Steve Cauthen again. His sage advice is that "all you need is a little more confidence in your connection with your horse. Going out there knowing you've got a great horse under you is really important." Funny, this is exactly the same logic I use when I play the lottery. You can see how well that's worked.

Then the Preakness happens. This has to be the most boring race in the history of Thoroughbred. (Note: I have not read, um, most of the books lately, so I'm willing to take nominations for the actual winner of the "most boring race" award.) It is 14 paragraphs of actual race and the only thing of note is that Wolf cuts Christina off, and Star comes in fourth. Ian and Ashleigh tell her what a great/terrific job she did, though they don't sound particularly enthusiastic. Christina says they only placed fourth, but Wolf was disqualified, so Star is moved up to third. Celtic Mist wins, Wild 'n' Free comes in second. Wait, that was it? And the point of this would be … what? When you stop whining and moping and just have confidence in your horse, you place third? Sounds like a solid game plan to me.

And thus we enter a dark age of Thoroughbred, where every book includes an encounter with a famous person/horse that is supposed to be somehow relevant to the plot. I can't decide if this is better or worse than the famous-horsie-trail-ride that Cindy took in Ashleigh's Farewell -- at least those horses weren't real.  

Points of Interest:

• "Christina had been so sure that Star's start from the number three position would put them in a good place right at the beginning of the race, she hadn't thought beyond it. She hadn't anticipated Perfect Image, Gratis, and Speed.com getting into a speed duel right from the start. All I could think about was the fact that I'm actually racing Star in the Kentucky Derby. What am I going to do? she berated herself, searching intently for a way to move Star ahead." I always like when Christina (and characters in general) acknowledges that she was stupid and that she did something wrong. Unfortunately, this scene occurs very early in the book, and none of it seems to carry over into the rest of the plot. So Christina was too confident, and the solution is … to be more confident?
  
• "[Christina] thought of Miss America's bay colt, Royal Blue, wondering if the Blues King foal might be her next chance for a Triple Crown win. She quickly dashed the idea away, feeling as though she was being untrue to Star by thinking ahead that way." Right, because if Christina really loved Star, she'd figure out a way to invent time travel so he can run again next year.
  
• For the prom, Christina wears a blue dress that is "almost the same color as her racing silks." Wait, didn't Cindy do that once?
  
• Christina's "pearlescent blue" dress also catches the golden light as the "sun shone brightly through the bedroom window." I'm pretty sure Cindy's horses also used to do this during morning workouts.
  
• Parker brings her a blue-and-white corsage and picks her up in a blue limousine. What the hell? He must have inherited that decorator gene from his mother.
  
• Parker wears a black tuxedo to the prom. This is how you can tell this book wasn't written by Joanna: it's not white.
  
• I haven't been rereading in order, so maybe I missed this, but Christina mentions (perhaps for the first time) that she regrets giving up Sterling and Legacy, and wonders what she'll do after Star stops racing. I know I made fun of all the anvils about college, but I think that's actually pretty logical given that she only got into racing because of the angry fans with pitchforks Star.
  
• Christina refers to Brad as "Bradley Whiplash," after the way he disappeared from the horse cabana in the last book. Ha.
  
• Sammy has been looking "pale" lately. Gosh, I don't know what that could mean. She must be … um, not getting enough vitamin D. Yeah, that's it.
  
• Celtic Meadows' silks are "dark green shamrocks scattered over a white background." Ghyllian wears a green sundress to the race. I guess she went to the Lavinia Hotchkins-Ross Townsend Decorating School, too.
  
• Mary's favorite vapor lights make an appearance at the beginning of chapter 9.
  
• Christina is jealous that Jazz is writing a love song for Melanie, because "Parker would never do something like that." Um, Christina, that is because Jazz is a singer and a songwriter. It's his job. He gets paid for it. Parker's job is to muck out stalls and little teach kids how to tack up their horses. I'm sure if you asked nicely, he'd muck out a stall for you.
  
• Ashleigh tells Christina that there will be more horses running at Pimlico. Except that the field is the same size, with Wild 'n' Free replacing Image. Last I checked, Ash, nine was the same as nine.

Next up: the Belmont. I'm off to play some more lottery numbers! I'm feeling very confident.

Thoroughbred: Derby Fever

Derby Fever
#53
by Mary Anderson

Every so often, a book rolls around that reminds me how stunningly ridiculous stories somehow find their way into print. Thoroughbred as a whole is sort of a good example of this, but that's really too easy. Since the past two books in Thoroughbred are Distance Runner and Perfect Challenge, which are two pretty solid books in terms of not feeling the burning need to kick the main characters in the head, the bar was set quite high for Derby Fever. And it crashed right into that bar, stumbled around drunkenly, and then fell down while everyone stared and mocked it.

This is not a high point for the series, is what I'm saying. But who cares! Let's get right back in the saddle.

Can Ashleigh Help Christina?With the Kentucky Derby only a few weeks away, Christina Reese is stressed out. Star is in top form, but Christina is starting to wonder if the colt might be better off with a more experienced jockey in the saddle. Her mother the trainer, the renowned jockey Ashleigh Griffen, knows Christina is the only rider for Star. But she also knows what her daughter is feeling - she's been there herself.

Flash back to the days of old, when Ashleigh raced Wonder in the Triple Crown. Drawing inspiration from the past, Ashleigh dreams up a plan to calm Christina's nerves and prep her for the most exciting race of her life!

Okay, let's stop right here. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. First, I don't know what that blurb is even trying to say. I just know that it is 95% wrong. Ashleigh does, indeed, come up with "a plan." That is the only thing that is remotely correct about this whole thing. Also, that cover. I am going to be maybe more lenient about this than Monique and Claire during their attempts to explain how this doesn't make sense, because I actually like the composition. It says to me that Melanie and Christina are on the outs (again...oh, yet again). And there's Ashleigh, which would be way more awesome if she wasn't turned away from us. She's a major character, so she gets to be included again. Although she is old, and therefore cannot grace us with her face. It might be too horrifying, despite the fact that she still looks like she's 14. The rest of it, however... Okay, look. Image looks like a gray, Star looks like some horrible mutt bred in someone's backyard, The Rein Situation confuses and dazzles me, and Ashleigh's left hand. What is she trying to indicate? What does it all mean? And, Chris, we will speak later about that outfit. I know this was like ten years ago, but that is no excuse.

Now to the book, which spends about 65% of its time on Christina's invalid complaints and 35% of its time trying to rewrite Samantha's Pride from Ashleigh's perspective. Why is this happening, you may be asking yourself. This is the Thoroughbred attempt at a mea culpa, in which they attempt to convince us all that they aren't just publishing fan fiction. You see, lots of people were annoyed with the reinvention of the series and over the course of the New Generation TPTB tried several methods to get everyone to like them again. Cue Mary. Mary was the knight in shining armor. She wanted to give the fans some assurances that someone was listening to their wants and needs, championed bringing back old characters and forgotten history. And in true Thoroughbred fashion, this is what happens.

Christina is super worried that they are about a month out from the Kentucky Derby and Ashleigh has yet to schedule Star in one last prep race. In fact, Ashleigh refuses to let Star do anything faster than jogging with the occasional trail ride thrown in for variety. Christina insists that the only way to keep Star in his winning ways is to keep racing him every week with breezes every other day, as this is clearly sensible. Ashleigh, showing a backbone and confidence for the first time possibly ever, tells her daughter no. Christina's reaction to this is to sucker punch Ashleigh with a classic "You're a Star-hater. You hate Star!" And then she flounces off, leaving Ashleigh to gaze at all the win photos that clutter her office and ponder why her daughter is such an irrational bitch.

But, you guys, Ashleigh has her reasons! You see, when Wonder's Pride was racing, Ashleigh actually supported racing him too much. Because when horses are pretty and "spirited" they are clearly ready to race in grueling tests of stamina and strength! Only Charlie was there to set her straight, although Ashleigh persisted in this line of thinking and it was too late. Pride wins the Florida Derby and then the Blue Grass by many lengths and Charlie and Samantha are all DAMN IT, except Clay, Brad and Ashleigh are like yay, let's win the Kentucky Derby! But oh, if only Ashleigh had known then what she knows now and how will she ever get her daughter to understand how psychologically traumatizing it all was for her? Ashleigh is just trying to head Christina off at the pass where she overraces her horse, okay?

Meanwhile, Christina has noticed that Star is too hyper to eat his hay. Proof positive he needs to race! So she gets up super early and takes Star out first thing, only to get caught and told in no uncertain terms that there will be no breezes for Star. In fact, Ashleigh is certain that Christina just wants to race regardless of whether it's on Star of not, so she schedules Chris to ride Raven at Turfway. Naturally, Christina is too busy thinking about Star during the race, makes a dumb move with Raven, and causes a giant wreck. But don't worry, you guys! Christina doesn't get suspended for being a moron, and Raven only severs every tendon and ligament in her leg, but isn't put down on the spot. People have to yell No! And Ashleigh has to tearfully admit that she wants to give Raven a chance. So they pack the filly full of sedatives and string her up in the stall, because that's what's better for the horse.

The only upshot here is that Christina admits that she was in the wrong and she'll pay for all of the vet bills, and then she has the nerve to be stunned that her parents agree with her. Ah, gotta love ya, Chris. Only then Ashleigh insists that it's not Christina's fault, she must ride Star, and now let's flash back to the Derby, when Samantha got all pissy that they were even running in the Derby and Ashleigh can't understand what co-ownership means.

But then Melanie comes home, fresh and super excited to be racing in the Derby. Since Melanie loves all black horses, she immediately shuns Christina for essentially killing Raven and "riding into a wreck." Okay, Melanie, you can be angrier than that. Christina caused the wreck! Go for the throat! Anyway, Melanie glares a lot and proceeds with the silent treatment. Because reporters instantly know when something uncomfortable has happened between Chris and Mel, one of them shows up to ask Christina all about her internal feud. Then they dash off to jog Star some more, while Brad drives up to take a look at the competition and cause conflict, because obviously. He drops a few remarks about how glad he was to offload Star, which I bet he is considering the boatload of drama surrounding him at all times, and then drives off, his work here done. Ashleigh flashes back to the time she told Brad that she wasn't going to bring Pride back to Townsend Acres to train (possibly the one moment she didn't give him whatever he wanted and wasn't forced to give up something big and extraneous in return for her refusal, stunningly). Then we have the Preakness, where everyone freaks out when Pride basically can't lift his head anymore. He's so tired! But he's so pretty! And Triple Crown! Ashleigh literally cannot make sense of any of this.

So anyway, because we only do things in the morning at Whitebrook, Christina is sent to Keeneland to pick up tack before school and happens to see Parker and his "new girlfriend" cozying up with the Townsends. Desperate to get out without anyone seeing her slovenly attire, Christina runs off to Tall Oaks so she can see Champion and talk to Cindy, who tells her to listen to Ashleigh and stop being pitiful. Because this is coming from Cindy, I'm having a hard time accepting it, but accept it Chris does and decides that yes, she will mind her mother, although her mother is only going to lead Star down the path to trail horsedom. That will show her!

At some point Melanie gets in a car wreck, probably because she was overwrought thinking about Raven, who, as it turns out, is perfectly fine! She can even have babies, when previously the vets were all predicting certain doom. So, things are sort of better. Only then Ashleigh has another flashback to the Belmont Stakes, which is pretty inconsequential because it stops right after Pride loses the race and we don't get to see Mary's take on Brad's verbal tirade in public. Oh, how magical that would have been! Only then Samantha shows up and says, "Yeah, I never wanted to run Pride in those races. In fact, I would have just let him graze all day every day if it had been up to me because I am this annoying. Listen to me be uppity and condescending!" Then she tells Ashleigh that she's wrong and Christina is right, overracing a horse is definitely okay? Um. I... Wasn't she just saying that no one listened to her about overracing Pride, but because Pride and Star are different horses...it's okay to overrace Star, haver of the Doom Virus? Where Pride had nothing but...sensitive feelings?

I...

So Ashleigh's irked and confounded. How will she tell Christina she was right all along, and how will they get a race into Star before the Derby? Why, they will just stick Star, Image, and Catwink on the track together and force them to duke it out in a speed duel. I guess that will work okay, too. Everyone comes by to watch, except for Samantha and Tor because they are "busy." Image and Star tie during their makeshift race, and then everyone makes uncomfortable statements about how one of them has to win the race and damn it, it's going to be Image/Star/Gratis. It will!

Interesting Points I Sort of Remember:

• I find it exceedingly strange that Samantha's Pride can be twisted in such a way that you've got Ashleigh's character reduced to "Pride is pretty and spirited, which must mean he wants to run." How does that even happen?
• Brad's quote that they lost Pride's Triple Crown thanks to a geriatric trainer and an inexperienced teen is priceless. 
• Ben shows up wearing slacks, and yet no one castigates him for essentially raiding Brad Townsend's closet. Also, I want Cindy to force him into jeans just once.
• The Triple Crown isn't closed to horses born outside America. That is ridiculous. Shut up, Ben.
• Red-gold and red-brown have names! They do! (I wonder if Joanna Campbell's penchant for "red-gold" rubbed off on Mary?)
• In my mind, Raven died. Okay, I said it. She died and Melanie did her Joanna Campbell-esque run off with the car, and then she got into a wreck, and then she broke her arm, and then she couldn't ride Image and then Chris and Star STILL lost the damn Derby. And then Celtic Mist won. He won ALL THE RACES. Hahahahahaha.
• Oh, yeah, Parker's "new girlfriend" is in fact his cousin, product of the unnamed Brad Townsend's Sister. Apparently she's just as anti-Townsend Acres as Parker. That was disappointing.
• Ashleigh's training is pretty shoddy in this book, too. I mean, honestly. You'd think she had PTSD or something.

Okay, that's it. I can't anymore.

TB #51: Distance Runner

Distance Runner
Thoroughbred #51
by Jennifer Chu

Christina and Star need a change of pace.

A competitive bug is sweeping through Whitebrook Farm. Image, Star, and Gratis are all contenders for the Triple Crown races, which begins with the Kentucky Derby, a little over a month away.

Christina can't stand the pressure. So, when she is given the chance to leave Kentucky for a little while and ride for another farm in California, where Derby fever isn't quite as intense, she packs her bags and takes Star with her. There, Chris focuses on making the most of Star's running style. He's always been a come–from behind–horse, but he sometimes misses his chance to beat the leaders. Christina is going to try to change that in time for the Derby. But it may not be as easy as she thinks.

Hey, guys! I have returned with another Thoroughbred book, which just so happens to be more Christina melodrama, so I'm sure you're all appropriately thrilled. Up there we have a book cover, in which Star and Christina are attempting to wedge themselves in between two horse butts and Star is probably about a half second from clipping heels with Horse Butt #1. You know, of all of these colored pencil drawings (or whatever they call themselves) I happen to be mildly okay with this one. There is action. For whatever reason, Christina is wearing green and white. It's just like Wildfire, you guys! How can I not like such randomness?

Well, anyway, Christina and everyone else she's ever known (that's almost in the literal sense) are at Keeneland preparing for the time-honored tradition of running a Whitebrook pony in the Bluegrass. Actually, Jennifer Chu really screws up the Derby prep race order in this book thanks to creative license, which is one of the many reasons the rest of the lead up to the Derby makes even less sense. But that's reality, and Thoroughbred doesn't do reality, even when it tries! (I actually really, really regret the attempts at inserting realism, but that's another story.) Christina exercises Star during yet another time-honored Whitebrook tradition: the three-furlong breeze. She notices, to her horror, that Star starts his breeze well enough, only to not try to rip her arms out of their sockets and leave her behind in a speedy fury in the second furlong, gradually speeding up in the last bit of the work.

As we all know THIS IS HORRIFYING. SO HORRIFYING. Ashleigh, Mike, Ian, Cindy, and probably even Melanie take one look at this situation and call it like it is: Star is a closer. A closer, Christina. This is how closers act in workouts, never mind actual races. But these people, of course, are not Christina and they can never know the sheer magic that courses from Star to Christina. Never! (Okay, I'm pretty sure Christina never utters the infamous "they don't know *insert horse name here* like I do!" line, so I'll hand it to Jennifer Chu for finding a new way to get that sentiment across without being totally aggravating.)

So here's the deal: since Star wired the field in the Louisiana Derby, Christina, for whatever reason, believes he is now a front runner, and must exercise as such forever and always. Christina apparently hasn't heard of flukes, or maybe Karle Dickerson just knew the easy way out of a race scene. Regardless, Christina now wants Star to be a front runner/awesome stamina-having sprinter of doom. I don't know. Star, of course, has no idea what he's in for.

Trying to avoid the crush of reporters that flock around her always, Christina runs into a horse having it out with a mechanical hotwalker. Because Christina keeps dozens of carrots in her pants, she whips them out and of course this distracts the horse from destroying the hotwalker and bashing open her head in the process. His trainers, the new kids in town from the West Coast called the Johnstons, immediately show up to give Christina the critical eye and proclaim her fit to ride their pack of nerves called Callie later that afternoon.

Chris rides the horse, they win, but Melanie rode Raven in the same race and decided to stir up some drama by calling foul. Get this: according to Melanie, Christina was over there waving her crop around in the middle of the race, and because Raven is a delicate Whitebrook horse, she flinched. Now, this is hard to believe just in general, but who actually uses crops at Whitebrook? Even though they all like to say that maybe the crop could be the miracle answer to all life's ills, and supposedly these devices are used on other, less fragile horses...seriously? I'm supposed to believe this?

Christina is crushed, and Melanie decides to glare at her for several days. They go to the birthday party of a friend (like we care who) and act like twelve-year-olds, and then Christina discovers Parker aimlessly stalking the broodmare paddock at Whitebrook in the middle of the night and they break up because they have no time and apparently this will eventually mean heartbreak and hurt somewhere down the road. Thus Christina can now take Star to California, and Parker can train for the Olympics in England, and maybe they will successfully date others who will never understand their miraculous bonds with their wonder ponies. Ha! If only.

Christina manages to convince Ashleigh to let her take Star to California, because Cindy helpfully dragged up all those time she was a bitch to people. Yes, fierce competition within family units is a horrible thing, something I was forced to read about for many, many books. Thanks for reminding me, Cindy. THANKS A LOT.

So Christina has her way and takes Star to California, because she does not have to be at school and her parents totally trust her with the farm's Derby runner, and apparently "exclusive" attention for Star in Christina-speak is training Callie, exercising every other horse in the West Coast, and then getting around to Star.

While in California, things continue to go to hell with Star as Christina refuses to believe he is anything other than a frontrunner. Meanwhile, new boy Aaron is here to offer a shoulder for Christina to cry on. He tries to take her out on the town in efforts to show her California, but in true Thoroughbred fashion, Christina freaks out over Star's poor times and shuns him, refusing to have fun because that is for the irresponsible. She decides that the only way to get Star's attention is to smack him with the crop, which of course Star literally cannot stand and falls apart. Christina does not know any other way to train her horse, so she keeps using the crop and things keep getting worse and let me remind us all that this is the girl that used her hand to smack her horse when he was panicking not two books ago. Two books! Two!

So at Santa Anita, during the big reveal for Callie's owners, nothing works out, both horses suck, and famous trainers rue the day that they asked a 17-year-old they don't know to train their horse. Or whatever was going on. Aaron comforts Christina as she has a breakdown in Star's stall, and then finally gets her to go to an amusement park with him.

This is probably the first time Christina has experienced non-horse fun in her life, so naturally she has no idea how to react. Poor girl. She backpedals to discuss Star at any and all opportunity, and has her moment of enlightenment: she's a moron! That's right! Star isn't a frontrunner. He's a closer! Looks like all those people that didn't know her horse like she did actually did know her horse better than she did. So Aaron and Christina decide to pull a Cindy and take the horses out at night in order to prove Christina's point that she was stupid. After some brilliant attempts to lure Star into running like his old self using motivational speaking, it turns out that, yup, Chris is stupid.

So Christina gets out of everyone's way, Callie wins his race, Star comes in second in his after narrowly avoiding disaster, and Christina tells everyone that Aaron should ride Callie in the Preakness before coming clean to poor Aaron that she just broke up with her lifetime forever love. But don't worry, Aaron. You've demonstrated to Christina that there are other things out there besides horses for girls to think about (i.e., males, of course!) Hooray Triple Crown!

• "Spectators" and "reporters" are not the same thing. 
• How is it that Image and Gratis are the horses to beat? Did I miss the point in the series where they were brilliant and actually won a serious race?
• Dude, the whole point of a race (and a breeze) is to go faster at the end than you're going at the start. That's what they call "building stamina" and how you win races. Stop complaining about nothing, Chris! (By the way, this is the Big Problem That Needs Solving in this book. Which means it's not a problem at all.)
• If Christina "is the only one" who knew how the Louisiana Derby really went down, she's not doing her job.
• How many carrots does Christina keep in her pockets at any given point in the day? A whole bag?
• Ooh, today Brad is wearing a tailored suit with gold buttons.
• A Jeep! It's been so long since I've seen a Jeep carting around a Thoroughbred series character, it almost makes me misty eyed for the good old days. With this and all the Cindy Era nostalgia I'm half tempted to just say it: Jennifer Chu is the New Generation's Joanna Campbell.
• Does anyone get the feeling of Gary Stu for Aaron? The book, as refreshing as it is in certain ways, has the stink of fanfic on it. Consider: main character dumps boyfriend, and suddenly a new love interest pops up who is, of course, perfect in all ways. I'm not saying Jennifer Chu wants to date Christina, but it fits a certain pattern.

Next up, I think we're actually going back in time to see what Melanie was up to in Florida. Because apparently she was there, and now she's back in Kentucky, and no one decided to talk about it at all in Distance Runner other to say she was there and there were "obstacles."  Yet one more perplexing decision brought to you by Thoroughbred!

Thoroughbred #49: Rising Star

Rising Star
By Karle Dickerson
Published: 2001

Hey, you guys! So I haven't read a Thoroughbred book since February 2010. I had to look this up, because it had been so long. Then I had to look up just where this story had left off with Christina before Rising Star came along and introduced Whitebrook to Louisiana. Turns out they were in Montana previously. And then everything came flooding back. It was like watching scenes from Thoroughbred flash before your eyes in a crappy montage with music by Coldplay. It was horrifying.

So let's step back on the crazy train, shall we?

Is Wonder's Star a has-been? 

No one thought Wonder's Star would get well again. Everyone was certain he would never run another race. The racing press was calling him a has-been.

But Christina Reese never gave up hope. Slowly and steadily she's been bringing Star back into racing condition. In her heart of hearts she still has Triple Crown dreams for them, but the Kentucky Derby is only a few months away and they're running out of time! Instead of starting with an easy local prep race, Christina enters Star in a tough Derby prep race, praying that he can withstand the grueling pace. Is it too much, too soon? Or will Star shine like the champion that he is? 

In the previous Star/Christina book, they were in Montana learning about the itancan from Lyssa because Star isn't being all he can be three days post deathly illness. Then the whole trip wound up being useless because all they had to do was wrestle in a pond for five seconds and magically Christina and Star are best friends again. Hooray! Let's win the Kentucky Derby!

Only since we all know Thoroughbred is basically just a roller coaster ride through Christina's manic depressive episodes, this is bound to unravel completely. Because everyone around Christina is somewhat competent, professional, and experienced, she starts to lose her shit when they unanimously agree that Star is not on the path to Kentucky Derby immortality. This collective knowledge, of course, does not equal the simple fact that no one knows Star like Christina, a line that Christina mutters to herself at least once every other chapter.

While Christina and Ashleigh are having this unspoken battle of wills, a reporter from the Racing Reporter shows up to ask Christina lots of leading questions like "Is Star a total brat?" and "Are you suffering delusions of grandeur?" Apparently the only way this woman got on the farm is because Ashleigh somehow thought she was saying Daily Racing Form every time the lady told her Racing Reporter, which is the most awful of awful racing publications in the world. Ashleigh doesn't bother to hide her disgust about this lady's employer, right before she abandons her child with a reporter she clearly does not approve of. Nice going, Ashleigh! Another example of shady parenting accomplished.

While the reporter eagerly clamors for gossip about how Star is washed up and a "bad actor," Christina becomes infuriated that anyone could think any of these things about her precious baby. She proceeds to have a literal melt down, and takes her feelings out on the track to prove this reporter wrong. Of course, because Star is a sensitive snowflake, the shit hits the fan and Christina not only delivers the most stunningly awful work in the history of Whitebrook, but because she doesn't use a crop she resorts to smacking her wonder pony around with her hand. During a work. Because when all else fails, hit your panicking mount when you're zig zagging across the track going 35 miles per hour! Awesome thought process, Chris!

So it takes about a chapter and a half for Chris to a) verbally abuse Dani and Star, b) physically abuse Star, and c) receive no punishment except for realizing her own mistakes. Because that in itself is punishment, or something. Christina proceeds to almost fall off of Star before realizing she needs to "join up" with him...although how she does that while she's clinging to his neck is questionable. Nevertheless, it happens.

Armed with proof that Christina is a total nut job, the reporter writes a pathetically childish gossip story that everyone in the country immediately believes. Christina, for about two seconds, thinks this is fine. Let everyone think Star is a has-been! At least the reporters will leave them alone now. And then she gets all pissy when everyone thinks Star is finished.

Sigh. It's so hard being locked in this kid's brain, you guys. I can't even.

Then Ashleigh decides to ship Image to Florida, where Whitebrook has historically dominated for eons. Christina takes it for the slap in the face that it is: Image is Whitebrook's Derby horse...despite the fact that Image is not Whitebrook's in any way, shape or form. Nor has she proven to be Derby caliber, or even interested in racing. Who knows. I certainly don't. Christina goes all bonkers, crashes into depression, and decides to watch Wonder's Derby tape so she can throw it in Ashleigh's face and ask her why she's trampling all over Christina's dreams.

Ashleigh, naturally, takes this to heart and tells Christina about this fabulous place called Louisiana. It's a state! In America! And Christina is all, "Tell me more about this...Louisiana." And then she's immediately turned off because such a newfangled place could never have the competition in Florida. Christina, being passionate about running her horse into the ground, will only accept G2 Derby preps or better. Little, short, dinky races are not acceptable as come back races for Star.

But then Christina hears of the Louisiana Derby, which she supposes will do for her purposes. She attempts to sweet talk her mother into her race selection using bagels, but Ashleigh has experienced an unusual moment of forethought and entered Star before Christina could have a panic attack about it.

Now we enter Christina's manic phase. She's so happy! Star is going to be awesome and prove everyone wrong, especially that evil Racing Reporter lady and all the people she converted to the opinion Christina wanted them all to have. But then she learns that Celtic Mist, the Townsend Acres horse of doom, is racing in the Louisiana Derby, sending Christina crashing into depression...despite getting what she wanted? Didn't she just want to race Star in the Florida Derby against Celtic Mist...? I'm just going to stop trying to follow her thought process. It's way too hard at this point.

So, in New Orleans, a place that does not take itself seriously (which Christina notes disdainfully while telling herself she's taking everything seriously) Christina notes with horror that it is hot, and there is jazz music everywhere, and this place has culture that she refuses to appreciate because she's busy. And then Brad Townsend and Lavinia show up to go through a comic relief sketch only found in movies meant for eight-year-old children. Dani sprays them with a hose, and then Brad steps in manure...only to scrape it off his foot without looking because he's in the Intimidate Christina Using His Persuasive Voice Zone.

Then Christina crashes again, because Celtic Mist is awesome and she should just stop trying. No one believes in her, Parker doesn't want to talk to her because she's deferring college for a year, and no one needs to know that she should be on serious medication. So she calls Ashleigh, who talks her off the ledge. Christina is happy again! And then she crashes again. Then she listens to some random track workers talk about their jobs and she's happy again because if you're going to work on a track, you should at least own a wonder pony. Those poor saps! Christina is living the dream!

And then she wins the damn race like we knew she would and they talk about red roses being better than orchids, the Louisiana Derby flower. Yeah, screw orchids. Roses are awesome.

I could get into a list of points of interest, but I think Claire already covered them here. Plus, there's a lot I find enraging about Lyssa and her stupid itancan philosophy and the superior/anti-fun attitude Christina & Co. have toward everything that I don't think can be contained in this post.

I will be moving on to some book about Parker next, because he's got Olympic issues that take whole books to cover.

Derby Fever: In which we learn that Ashleigh has the memory of a goldfish

Title:Derby Fever (Thoroughbred 53)
Author: Mary Anderson

It is rather fitting that this book, easily one the worst in the series, has a cover this hideous. Both Star and Image look like cow horses and it seems dear Image forgot the power of Vitamin E enhanced lotion or something. Either that or she's suffering from equine leprosy.

Both girls seem to think that wearing a strapless helmet on a young Thoroughbred is a good idea and Melanie is throwing Christina a very Cindy-worthy Pout of Death. Or maybe it's the SuperPout(TM)!

Anyhoo, take note of the background, as it shall be returning in a few books time.

The whole plot of this book revolves around Christina wanting to race Star once more before the Derby and Ashleigh disagreeing based on her past experiences with Wonder's Pride. Yup, you got it. We have flashbacks in this one, folks! Are you as thrilled as I am?

Christina basically gets away with saying the most horrible, bitchy things to Ashleigh. If she was my daughter, I would have been like "Nuh-uh. No more pony for you."

The Star obsession and disagreement goes on for a while. Ashleigh thinks she somehow was responsible for Pride's near breakdown. Someone needs to reread #7. That's not quite how I remember it going down, but whatevs.

So, Ashleigh decides that the best thing for her whiny brat of a daughter is to ride in a race. Naturally. Not precious Star, though. She sticks her on one of the insignificant Whitebrook horses, Raven. Christina royally screws up that one, though. She is so busy thinking about Star (are we shocked?) and causes this big accident in which Raven gets hurt.

Well, in case we all forget, apparently Melanie just loves Raven. And boy is she pissed. I'm telling you, for two eighteen-year-olds, Mel and Chris know how to sulk it up.

So, in her pissed-off state, Mel gets in an accident. And this somehow is the magical catalyst for making up and being BFFs and shit again. That and a pretty pony statue. Mental note made.

The book ends with a mock race which makes everyone happy, even though Image won.

• Dani seems to wait around for the chance to walk Star or tack Star up or just basically be a servant to Chris's every equestrian whim. Poor girl.
• First Raven can't even be a broodmare and then she can? WTF. It just shows what the magical power of Whitebrook love can do.
• Mary's Charlie dialogue irritated me. It was like a copy/paste from every single book he's featured in.
• I secretly wonder if Star shits rainbows.
• Does no one really age? Ian is described as being "unchanged" from the days of Pride. There must be some magical water in Thoroughbred-land, especially for Jazzman to still be a viable stud. Pity Charlie never found it.

And that's it. The. Worst. Book. Ever. But wait! Next up is Cindy's Last Hope. Perhaps I have spoken too soon.

Star's Chance: And then they got lost in Montana.

Star's Chance

Thoroughbred #45

by Karle Dickerson

2001

Will Star ever regain his spirit?

At last, Wonder's Star has recovered from the illness that halted his promising racing career so suddenly. The vet says he'll be back on the track in no time. But Christina Reese is convinced the colt has lost his spirit. She can't seem to communicate with him like she used to. Christina needs help.

When Lyssa Hynde offers to work her magic with Star, Christina takes the colt to Lyssa's ranch in Montana to rehabilitate. But Montana is worlds away from the track, and Christina and Star are lost there. Will Christina and Star learn to take risks and trust each other again?

The last time I read about Lyssa, I remember wishing she would drown in a shallow puddle of water. That desire really hasn't gone away, so I was curious to see how I'd react to Star's Chance, which initially seems like a flagrant device to get Lyssa back into the storyline.

Because we all love Lyssa.

Star's Chance begins with Star having rebounded from death, which seems like a pretty nifty trick because the last we saw him he was practically cast in his stall and only Christina's magical girl tears saved him from certain doom. The vet proclaims him fine, but cautions Chris about taking it easy with Star until he regains his strength. There's no telling if he'll ever bounce back to racing form, and the vet takes it even further by saying there's no telling he'll ever be strong enough to even breed. But what does he know? He is merely a vet! Christina knows what is best for her wonder pony, okay? And he's going to run in the Kentucky Derby next year, because that's what's best for the horse.

About two and a half days go by, with Christina getting ever more frustrated with Star's "lack of spirit" when she rides him. Parker mentions that if Lyssa were here, she would have Star back to his old self in a couple of hours, max. Then he has a most fantastic idea! Perhaps Christina should take Star to Lyssa, who lives on a dude ranch in Montana. Christina is certainly unenthused about this idea, telling him he is "absolutely nuts" and in no way is she taking her wonder pony to Montana to re-enact The Horse Whisperer, just without the death and the sex.

Enter Brad Townsend, because where plot goes stagnant, Brad Townsend has to be called in to stir up the pot. Asked to accompany Parker to a Townsend party, Christina is forced to stand around with people who are just as well off as she is, but have the gall to actually act rich and wear sparkly things. The nerve.

Instantly, Brad appears by Christina to tell her that he's heard about her troubles with Star, this being the third day after Star's been cleared for some light activity. Christina begins to ask how he heard, but he says, "No, it wasn't Parker. But I have my ways." Yes, he reads minds. Stunned, Christina instantly goes on alert, falling back to her default stance as indignant horse loving teen, asking him why he even cares, apparently having forgotten that Brad only antagonizes her because it is basically good sport. Brad insists that selling Star was the best business decision he ever made, taking the time to lift up her hand and point out her blisters and broken nails, because he is a master at deduction.

Christina promises that he'll regret selling Star, and he pretty much tells her that no, he will not. Then he saunters off, his work here done. Game, set, match. Brad Townsend wins at life. Immediately Christina rushes back to Parker, insisting that they have to go now so she can call Lyssa and go to Montana to help Star. Despite having only worked with Star for three days. I think someone has some instant gratification issues.

Because no one in Thoroughbred goes to school, and Ashleigh is a horrible parent, Christina goes to Montana with Lyssa's uncle, subjecting herself and me to every Western stereotype you can think of for the next hundred pages. Star is loaded onto a trailer with cattle, hauled by a truck that could very well fall apart at any second, with the radio station permanently tuned to Western music. Once they arrive in Montana, Christina is ushered into the house, where everything is beige and tastefully decorated in horse themed or Navajo prints. Instantly, some guy named Ray asks Christina if her horse's spirit is broken, and what the hell it totally is not! How dare he kind of be ignorantly astute like that! Only Christina can use similar verbiage to basically say the same thing.

Lyssa tries to placate Christina by saying that Ray doesn't know any better. He is, after all, from Arizona, where jerks come from. Ray continues to try to win Christina over, using common forms of conversation starters that Christina construes as "creepy" behavior. When she's not avoiding Ray, she's on super defensive mode with Lyssa, because despite the fact that she trailered Star all the way to Montana with heifers she ultimately wants nothing to do with Lyssa's supposed advice. Also despite being totally about Lyssa's training techniques back in Close Call.

Eventually, Lyssa demands that Christina take Star out into a reservoir in order for him to fight out his problems with her, because that's what the American Indians do, I guess. Christina isn't having any of that, no matter how many American Indians gentled horses this way. Star is a racehorse, damn it. She cannot hurt him, despite the fact that she's trailered him all the way to Montana for seemingly no reason and is about to take him on a round up type thing in the wilderness, where he will inevitably get lost and wind up roaming the countryside in search of his previously completely insane personality.

So this is what they do. Star gets loose up in the mountains, and Christina speeds off after him. Eventually they all get lost, Christina finds Star predictably injured, and winds up spending the night with him out in the wood somewhere. The next morning, Christina rides Star (sans tack, of course) into a river, where Star completely flips out and does his fight the water deal that brings his old personality back. And then they both climb out of the river and die of hypothermia.

Or not. Lyssa finds them, and all is well. Christina gets to put a checkmark next to Montana on her list of states that she has visited, and Star is set to win the Kentucky Derby. Surely he will not finish, you know, last. Or anything. That would be entirely too unjust.

• There is one thing I liked about this book: Christina never really admits that Lyssa's advice helped or did anything positive at all. By the end, she's really had it and starts to freak out at Lyssa about how it is entirely useless to train horses to open gates. And Lyssa actually does manage to look a little sheepish about it, because her horse was the one that let Star out to begin with.
• I really don't buy Parker telling Christina to take Star to Lyssa. I would accept this plot if Christina had dreamed up this idea, and then gotten totally overwhelmed when she finally gets there because she is a mother hen when it comes to her horse.
• Ashleigh, you suck so much. When Christina calls her mother up to tell her about this round up she's taking Star on, the very round up in which she loses Star, the only thing Ashleigh says is, "Sounds like it will be an adventure." Right about here is when you put your foot down and demand that your daughter bring her damn wonder pony back to Kentucky, because if the magical trick is thrashing around in water, I'm pretty sure you could have done that at home.
• Three days! She only waits three days before taking Star to Montana. Seriously.

And that was a Thoroughbred book.

Ultimate Risk: This title makes little sense, but that's okay because this is Thoroughbred.

Ultimate Risk
Thoroughbred #40
by Mary Newhall Anderson

I never noticed this before, but Mary's name is misspelled in this book. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be Anderson, right? Not Andersen?

I like the action of this cover, and I like that it's different than all the others. However, Christina's silks are supposed to be green and purple, and she looks like a giant. That or Gratis is particularly tiny.

A great opportunity...

Now that Christina Reese and her cousin Melanie Graham are jockeys, they want to ride as many horses for as many trainers as they possibly can.

When Christina is asked to ride a difficult horse for one of the best-known trainers in Kentucky, she leaps at the chance to prove herself. But she'll have to race against her own horse--Wonder's Star. Is it worth the risk?

It's been about a month since I read a Thoroughbred book, but I am thrilled to report that Star is still winding his way through his hilariously incompetent two-year-old racing schedule. In the last book, I didn't touch much on this, but this time around I felt more compelled to do a few fact checks. Consider:

Living Legend takes place mostly at Ellis Park. Great! I love it. The problem is that Ellis Park isn't exactly a heavy hitter in terms of Grade I races, making it impossible for Star to complete the famously repetitive step ladder to Triple Crown fame (because all two-year-old horses in Thoroughbred are aimed to the Triple Crown, inexplicably enough). Ellis Park's biggest race is the Gardenia, a Grade III race for fillies and mares. You see Star's problem, surely. So in Living Legend he runs in the Debutante, which does actually exist and does live up to its name in that it is for two-year-old fillies. Amusingly enough there is a race simply called the Juvenile that they could have run him in, given that it's just for two-year-olds. These races are ungraded, $50,000 purses, totally confusing my expectations of what a Wonder foal should be participating in, but that's not the point. Because then Star runs in this big Ellis Park race called the Laurel Stakes. Which, as far as I can tell, never existed. But all of that is due to some nutty Alice Leonhardt plotting. Mary Anderson was released to play with these characters in Ultimate Risk, so let's take a look at what she does.

Mary picked up on the fact that Ellis Park has a set schedule. They don't just run horses there all the time...that would be silly! Or totally un-American. So she moves everyone over to Turfway Park, which happens to open up mid-September. Gasps abound, these people learned something and applied it to the books. The Whitebrook people are at Turfway, and it's mid-September. This is pretty much where the realism ends. I know, you can only have so much.

Melanie and Chris have apparently been living in a hotel room in Florence for weeks on end, working at Turfway and straining their relationships with their boyfriends. Melanie and Kevin have been dating since Living Legend, which seems remarkably impossible to me, but they are. Chris and Parker seem on the same page, content with kisses on the cheek and such things, despite Christina getting ready to enter her senior year in high school and Parker being in college, I guess? I can't tell what's going on with him.

Anyway, Christina is exercising Star on the track amidst what I know is Mary Anderson's attempt to impress us with her research skills. The problem is Mary is trying to convince me that horses tend to do slow works by the outside rail in a counterclockwise motion while fast works are done on the inside rail in a clockwise motion. Mary, I'll understand if you're dyslexic, but this just isn't right. Christina tries to merge in with faster traffic and predictably causes a scene with Steve Quinn, hated jockey, who is riding Gratis. Gratis freaks out at Star, plows into Christina's way, falls over, and Christina, who has obviously lost all control, can only jump over Gratis. And who is at fault? STEVE. Since Christina is still a godlike riding princess despite having no control over her horse. Afterward, the vet muses that she could have, you know, gone around Gratis instead of jumping him, and Christina is predictably offended. Christina, shut up.

But this run in with Gratis and his trainer, a blatant attempt at Charlie Burke (only wearing a fedora), Vince Jones, has the gears turning in Christina's head. She should ride Gratis! This will clearly earn her major points and push forward her riding career. Speaking of riding careers, Melanie has a serious case of seconditis, poor sportsmanship psychosis, and sore loser disease. Ever since she fell (which happened in Living Legend, although I can't at all remember it), she's freezing up and not taking any chances, losing races she should have won or making her losing mounts look worse. And she's not thrilled about it. She mopes and mopes and acts pissy at all opportunity. I would say this is annoying, but then I've been watching Jockeys and now know that moping and acting pissy is what lots of jockeys do about 75% of the time, especially when they aren't winning. Christina tries to cheer her up, but Melanie is insistent on talking with Steve, which Christina knows will surely upset Kevin because I guess Kevin is now a territorial, possessive jerk? Who knew that was likely? Well, he is. After races, everyone goes on a double date that is awkward. Christina is exhausted, Parker is clearly the best person sitting at the table, and Melanie and Kevin act like they're going to break up at any second.

Moving on, Christina makes friends with Fredericka Graber, owner of Gratis and Image, who has a little cameo appearance in this book. Freddy, as I will now call her because that is seriously a name I am not typing over and over, takes a liking to Christina and starts to stump for her cause. Eventually Vince decides to let Christina try riding Gratis, who at first acts intimidating before catching Christina's super magical scent and immediately calming down. I have no idea what exudes from Christina's pores, but I have a feeling it should be bottled and sold at tack stores everywhere. Or maybe it's just her body wash. Whatever it is, Gratis can't get enough of it, so they eventually make a fantastical team. Vince, however, still wants to put Steve up on Gratis for his next race, and Christina knows how this will turn out, and it's not well. Christina should look into fortune telling as a career, because Gratis freaks and is scratched before the race.

Somewhere in here Melanie and Kevin break up because Kevin thinks Melanie is boring. This is not shocking, because he sort of thought Melanie was boring back in Dead Heat. Melanie has a complete mental break, and Ashleigh determines that the only way to get Melanie back is to let her ride Star, who will challenge her so much she won't have time to think about freezing up. Christina, despite her immediate jealousy, goes for it. Melanie breezes Star for the "Breeder's Futurity" and does it an eighth of a second faster than Christina's time, which surely means that Star is just getting better! Yeah. Well, whatever. At least Christina justifies all of it by wanting Star to be better than a one-person horse, inadvertently dissing all the one-person horses before them, and making me smile.

So they go to this completely confusing post position draw for the Breeder's Futurity and somehow Christina is named to ride both Gratis and Star. I'm not getting into whether or not this scene is even possible, because it was so convoluted (I can't believe I even used that word to describe a Thoroughbred scene, but there it is) it's impossible to follow. Christina tears a page out of Brad Townsend's Super Awesome Book of Advice and Other Wise Sayings, and decides to ride Gratis because it's more beneficial to her career. Melanie should ride Star! It's all so perfect, until Melanie refuses to ride Star. Then she does decide to ride Star, because Vince Jones calls her a pussy. So they race and Melanie and Star win. Christina and Gratis come in second. Melanie and Kevin hug, which in Thoroughbred probably means they're back together, and Christina decides that everything is fantastic again. Joy!

• Outside Kevin McLean was leaning against the side of the building, gazing up at the cloudless sky, his T-shirt tucked neatly into his black jeans, his red hair slightly wind-tousled. Parker Townsend stood nearby, wearing tan slacks and a button-down shirt, his suede jacket flung over one shoulder, his dark hair freshly combed. You can laugh at this. Go right ahead.

• The "Breeder's Futurity" is probably the Breeders' Futurity Stakes, a significant Grade I race, run at Keeneland in October. There is no "Breeder's Futurity" run at Turfway.

• Gratis's sire's grandsire is a son of Affirmed, and his dam is a granddaughter of Alydar. Christina take a moment to be awed by this breeding, while I roll my eyes. Then Freddy continues on to say that they bought Gratis's dam at auction, thinking she wasn't pregnant, only to find out that she was, resulting in Gratis. This, naturally, makes me wonder who they think Gratis's sire even is. It sounds to me like one of those freak accidents where a filly is bred during an auction. Usually you never find the sire in those cases.

• Brad Townsend is badmouthed by Freddy, because he keeps wanting to buy back Townsend Mistress, which he sold to Freddy after a series of difficult pregnancies that convinced him she should no longer be bred. Of course, I read this and Freddy seems like the moron who decides to breed this mare multiple times, resulting in three healthy foals, despite concern that the mare might not be in the best shape. Maybe Brad just wants to rescue his mare from these idiots. Did you ever think of that, Thoroughbred?
  

• Technically, I don't think Chris racing against Star is considered a conflict of interest. But it's pretty damn close.

• Gratis shouldn't have even been in the "Breeder's Futurity." It is a very obvious plot device. Sorry, Gratis.
  

The writing in this book is still pretty choppy, still very early Mary Anderson. The dialogue is stunted, and most conversations don't really go anywhere, especially those between Parker and Christina. Those phone conversations between Parker and Christina probably would have been torture if they had been longer than three sentences. This one was ultimately a little tiresome to get through, but it wasn't horrible. As usual, I appreciate Mary Anderson's attempts at research. It's just that her writing is mostly flat.