Apparently the price of fame is to look goofy and wear hideous pink shirts. TB #64: The Price of Fame.

The Price of Fame
Thoroughbred #64
By Mary Newhall
April 2004

Christina saved Star from a stalker, but can she protect him from Brad Townsend?

When Christina first moved Star to Townsend Acres to keep him safe from his stalker, she couldn't stand the thought of keeping him under Brad's roof. But now that they've settled in, she can't complain: The facilities are great and Brad is keeping a polite distance. But just when Christina begins to let down her guard, she makes a shocking discovery. …

It turns out Brad is under a great deal of pressure from his investors to produce more moneymaking horses—horses bred from winners like Star and Light Fandango, a descendant of the famous Kentucky Derby winner Northern Dancer. Christina begins to suspect that Brad will force her to breed Star with one of his mares as payment for boarding Star. Christina will do anything to keep Star safe from Brad, but will she have a choice?

The Summary:

This is probably the most accurate summary I've read lately.  In fact, I considered just copy and pasting the first paragraph below, because that's basically the deal:  Townsend Acres is beautiful and well-managed, but Christina and Melanie wonder what on earth they're doing there.  Of course, you have to deduct about six points for the two famous horsie references in the second paragraph.

The Cover:

Oh man.  I'm pretty sure this travesty was the reason I wanted to get back into writing recaps.  That, and because it pays so well.  Anyway, the style is just completely bizarre, sort of like a cross between anime and CGI.  Or is anime all computer-generated these days anyway?  Well, whatever.  It looks 100% strange and cartoonish.  Christina's eyes (assuming that's Christina) are as big as Star's and I guess it's just the angle at which she's lovingly and protectively lying across his neck, but she also looks like the fattest jockey in existence.

The Plot:

So after Christina's questionable taste in new friends, she retreats to Townsend Acres with Star, even though the stalker left for California at the end of the last book.  I'm not completely clear on why Christina didn't just take Star back to Whitebrook and agree not to befriend any more weirdo stalkers, but I guess they had to get Christina to TA somehow, since, as we all know, Melanie isn't good enough to carry a plot on her own.  I mean, it wasn't good enough that Melanie wanted to be a jockey and Christina wanted to event, oh nooooo, Christina had to want to race too.  Whatever.  So Melanie is working with Jinx, who is even crazier than Image.  She's also agreed to let Brad breed Image to Celtic Mist.

The first third or so of this book involves Townsend Acres being beautiful and well-managed, but Christina and Melanie wondering what on earth they're doing there.  Christina overhears Brad and Lavinia talking about a syndicate meeting that Brad has to attend.  Apparently this means that Brad sells shares of his horses to investors so he can keep having cash to make improvements to his beautiful, well-managed farm.

Brad invites Christina and Melanie to dine with him (complete with "chilled forks"—is that a thing?) and asks them to exercise-ride some horses for Ralph Dunkirk.  Most of this dinner is actually taken up by Brad's snide comments about Christina and her parents.  Confession time:  I am not a big Brad fan.  I don't think he's Batman and I had a really hard time writing that Brad/Ashleigh challenge ficlet that Mara asked for one time.  But here he's probably the most interesting he's been since the OG books because everything he says is true:  Ashleigh and Mike have never really shown off Whitebrook.  Almost every great winner they've had did come from TA bloodlines (except for Glory, and TA owns half of Glory anyway).  Brad says, "The animals we breed and train are income-producing stock. The challenge of breeding for racing excellence, to become the best, is what it's all about."  Christina counters with, "Horses are glorious, magnificent creatures with personalities, and there's nothing so wonderful as connecting with one of them," and while that's probably what we're supposed to think, it sounds pretty ridiculous right this moment.  There was an early Saddle Club book that featured horse-racing and Carole coming to the realization that some horses are not just for fun and worth a couple hundred or maybe a thousand dollars; for some, they are big money and it's almost like they're not the same animal as a pleasure horse at all.  Sorry, Christina, but I think you lose this round.

Oh, and this is so important that it gets its own paragraph:  after Christina's little declaration, Brad comes back with, "I don't need to get attached to the horses to enjoy the benefits they provide me."  I guess maybe it's true; he never did love another horse after they had to destroy Townsend Prince.

Christina rides some horses with incredibly stupid names:  Townsend's Silver Spoon, TA Illumination, and Pride's Light Fandango.  Light Fandango is the one who's supposed to be important, because he has Northern Dancer bloodlines (famous horsie reference of the book).  Also, I think some of those names exceed the 18-character limit, unless that's supposed to mean "Silver Spoon who belongs to Townsend" and "Light Fandango who belongs to Pride" … no, that doesn't make any sense.

Surprising no one, Light Fandango is amazing and all that.  Ralph asks her to ride him in the Kentucky Cup.  At first Christina says no, because "Brad would never want me to race a Townsend Acres horse."  Ralph says that's true (zing!) but they need a jockey, so Christina says yes.  Jinx has been performing well, so Melanie plans to enter him in the Kentucky Cup.  She can't believe it when Christina says she's agreed to ride Light Fandango for TA.  Christina tells Ashleigh, who is clearly pissed but decides to go the passive-aggressive route and say she doesn't mind.

The Kentucky Cup happens (that was quick).  Melanie wins on Jinx, Christina brings Light Fandango in second, one of Ghyllian Hollis' colts runs third, and a Whitebrook horse named American Jazz is fourth.  Light Fandango is really tired, so Ralph says they'll leave him at the track overnight.  Christina gets back to TA just in time to find Brad showing off for the investors, who do not seem impressed.  They don't want Celtic Mist's bloodlines, they want a Wonderpony, and Brad failed in his quest to get Champion back to TA.  They ask if Star will stand stud at TA.

Christina freaks out and wants to move Star right away, accusing Brad of planning this.  Brad just rolls his eyes and tells her, "I didn't find someone to stalk your horse so that I could offer to let you keep Star here, I didn't call my foreign investors and invite them to have an unplanned stockholders' meeting so that I could show off Star and Image, and I didn't tell them Star is mine."  Brad tries three different tactics:  first he tells her, "We're really not all that different, you and I. We both like to compete and we both like to win. … For all your righteousness, you're as aggressive and focused as I am. The big difference is that I recognize it in myself, and I'm okay with it."  When that doesn't work, he says that if she loves Parker, she should want Brad to be successful so he can inherit TA someday.  When that still doesn't work, Brad tells her that if she takes Star away from TA, he'll buy Image from Jazz.  Well, that does it.  Christina's not sure what to do.

Melanie gets back to the farm and gets a call from Jazz.  Turns out Brad has already made the offer, and Jazz is considering it.  Melanie is heartbroken.

Christina spends several pages stewing and moping, until she comes up with a brilliant plan.  (Note generous use of "brilliant" in that sentence.)  She goes to Whitebrook to talk it over with Ashleigh and Mike.  They agree, but to draw out the suspense, we don't find out what the plan is for about 10 pages.

Christina goes back to TA with a ginormous check for Brad—the amount of money she won in the Belmont.  Christina says it's to pay for Image's therapy and for Brad to relinquish his interest in her first foal.  She and Brad get to do a little more verbal sparring, in which Brad tells her that "I get the same thrill out of cutting a smart business deal as you get winning a race. We have different priorities, but it's all about using your skills to come in first," and Christina can't really disagree.  In the end, Brad agrees, but adds one condition to the deal:  "A breeding with Star to the mare of my choice."  Christina figures he's just trying to get a foal out of Image, so she stipulates, "Any mare that is owned by TA."  Brad grimaces and says, "You outmaneuvered me on that one," which I don't really get.  I mean, they haven't signed anything, so they could just as easily continue to argue about it (though maybe the whole point is that Christina figured out what Brad was trying to get out of the condition?).  Christina's final condition is that Brad not tell Melanie or Parker about their deal.  Brad tells Christina that he'll call Jazz and she should get off the farm that night.

Then we have one more chapter in which Image is no one's Wonderpony and refuses to get on the damn trailer, and Christina and Melanie go back to Whitebrook and we end with a scene so sappy it rivals Full House, in which "all the nice stuff in the world doesn't mean a thing if it doesn't feel like home."  Thanks, Ashleigh.  That would mean a lot more coming from you if you weren't the worst mother since Alice Wakefield.

Points of Interest:

• Ah, OG canon check:  passed!  "Aunt Caroline" did indeed date Brad before he met Lavinia.
  
• Melanie is thinking of "Misty Image" as a name for the foal.  That's great Mel, because we don't have enough horses that sound like My Little Ponies.  I guess that's better than Perfect Celtic.
  
• One of the investors says that Townsend Pride "hasn't sired a foal of any renown for years."  If he were still alive, he'd been awfully old by this time.  In Ashleigh's Diary he is four, which I've always thought was a bit of a weird retcon given that Wonder would have been conceived that year, and the way they were talking about Townsend Pride's foals, it seemed like he'd been at stud for a lot longer than that.  But okay, if we accept that he was born when Ashleigh was seven, he'd be 35 years old now.  Maybe he needs horse Viagra.

Next up:  Sorry, I forgot that The Price of Fame hadn't been recapped, so next it really is the Samantha weddingfest of Bridal Dreams.

Faith in an Extreme Long Shot

Faith in a Long Shot
Thoroughbred #57
by Alice Leonhardt

Does Image have what it takes to make Melanie's derby dreams come true?

Melanie and Jazz couldn't be more thrilled when Image comes in second in the Florida Derby. This is just the kind of proof they've been waiting for -- Image is ready to race in the big leagues! With high hopes, they decide to enter her to race in the ultimate competition: the Kentucky Derby.

Image has proven she has what it takes to win against other colts. But her competition at the derby will be really tough. Image will be running against Wonder's Star, Gratis, and Celtic Mist. Winning is a long shot. Does Melanie have enough faith in Image to make her derby dreams come true?

This summary misses the main point of the book, which is People Be Jealous. Otherwise, I suppose it's accurate. The cover, on the other hand, is composed based on all those winning shots of Kentucky Derby winners past, but in that style that makes you want to walk up to the artist and yell, "Since when do black horses look gray. Since when?" I'm having a hard time understanding this style's ability to depict black correctly. It's kind of basic. Then there's that buckskin in the background, which does make me a little ragey, I admit. They are running in front of a crowd that is wearing a lot of orange, blue and green. It does a good job of indicating the attendance of the race, but otherwise the colors amuse me. And Melanie's silks. Music notes on a field of green must be very hard to remember or draw...either way, she most certainly is not wearing red and blue.

But moving on...because pointing out the flaws of the covers and summaries is often like shooting fish in a barrel, right? Let's focus on the book, because Melanie is insistent on driving Image to Keeneland for the Ashland Stakes. For all of us wondering, that puts us back in April. So, that means that the events of Derby Fever have already happened, but Cindy's Last Hope is currently happening, and Great Expectations will happen...in May. Those being the three books leading up to Faith in a Long Shot. (Don't get me started on Hoofprints in the Snow.)

So, Image is entered in the Ashland Stakes after coming in second in the Florida Derby. Melanie starts to sense some attitude coming from the Whitebrook camp when she finds out that Ashleigh didn't want to put Catwink up against Image in the Ashland, and so decided to enter her in a claiming race because "Catwink needs it." I don't know why, exactly, but there you go. Impetus for drama ahead! Image wins handily, spurring Jazz into making crazy-eyed comments to similarly crazy-eyed reporters that this horse is running in the Kentucky Derby. OOOOOMG, says everyone. And then Melanie gets all crazy-eyed angry that Jazz hauled off and told everyone when she wasn't prepared for that sort of...reality? I thought they were thinking Kentucky Derby since Florida, but apparently this is news to Melanie.

Back at the shedrow, some guy tells Melanie that she doesn't know what she's in for with the media. They are relentless vultures that she cannot hope to handle, because she is a) a girl and her horse is also b) a girl. Also? The other Derby entrants are boys. OOOOOMG girls vs. boys! It's the biggest headline ever, because sex battles are the best. Everyone knows this. Melanie brushes him off. Surely the media frenzy for the Kentucky Derby won't be that bad, she thinks to herself. Surely!

And then she discovers that Catwink was claimed, which is somehow Melanie's fault because no one can trust Ashleigh to make a sound business decision if her life depended on it. Dear Ashleigh: if you want to keep your horse, totally and completely, don't enter it in a claiming race. You're not cut out for that type of gamble. But anyway, now Melanie thinks this is all her fault. Racing Image in anything means that Whitebrook will get screwed over, and then she realizes OOOOMG I'm racing Image against Star in the Derby! What will become of us all?!

So then we need Jazz to step in and tell Melanie that when he got famous, all of his previous friends who couldn't handle it got all butthurt and jealous of his success. People Be Jealous, he says. But that's okay, we're better than them. Did he lose a lot of friends chasing his dreams? Yes. Tons of them. They dropped like flies. But don't let that stop you from being a special snowflake, dammit! Melanie tentatively takes this advice and proceeds with plans to run Image in the Derby, despite what she feels is an increasingly icy atmosphere at Whitebrook. So icy, she stops riding Image on the track because that is apparently where Christina spends every waking moment relentlessly racing Star against the clock.

Compounding matters is the media frenzy. Because Whitebrook employs two people and lets random passersby wander their paddocks, the farm is trampled by reporters desperate for interviews and photo opportunities. Ashleigh has a meltdown about Whitebrook not being able to handle the attention. They've never had to go through this before! Ever! (Um, yeah.) And it's all Melanie's fault for entering an unworthy filly in the Derby as a distraction! Melanie tells reporters that she wouldn't have entered Image if she didn't think she could beat all the colts, upsetting Christina's delicate sensibilities, and causing to deepen the rift. And then Christina nearly runs over a reporter with her car, crossing the line between innocent girl we should feel sorry for and assault with a deadly weapon (vehicular.)

At school, Melanie is told she sucks at chemistry, and so she decides that she will force Parker into tutoring her. Because apparently he is back from England, although I was pretty sure he was supposed to be training for Burghley. But whatever. Apparently he has time to skip back and tutor Melanie in chemistry so he can hang around Whitebrook and make eyes at Christina, who has suddenly taken an interest in clothing and proper hair care. She is dressing and blowing out her hair like this girl who has walked out of a teen drama, much to Melanie's consternation. Feeling slovenly and unworthy, Melanie slinks off to talk to Jazz on the phone, who tells her he won't be in town until Tuesday. OOOOMG. Or whatever. It's like a week from the Derby now, and Melanie just wants this over with all ready, except then some guy decides that jumping into Image's paddock at night to get a photograph is the best time to do this ever and causes another collective meltdown. Image isn't safe! There could be people with cameras hiding in her stall! Lurking in the bushes! Sleeping at her feet! (Wait, that's Melanie...) She has to get out of here!

ENTER BRAD TOWNSEND.

So, apparently Celtic Mist isn't getting the attention Brad thinks he deserves. So he listens to Parker's business proposal that they allow Melanie and Image to stay at Townsend Acres so that Parker can finally have sex with his on-off girlfriend, and hears instead that he should have Image live at Townsend Acres so he can get in on the media frenzy. He approaches Melanie about his proposition, and Melanie is of course a petulant brat at first before Brad employs his awesomeness and she is stunned into accepting. In a haze, she tells Mike and Ashleigh about Brad's plan, and of course they all say that Brad is awesome and she should clearly do this. Of course, this could just be them trying to get rid of her, but Image must come first! Horses, then family. Always.

Melanie settles into her gargantuan and exquisite surroundings at the Townsend Acres guest house, and Image settles in under the watchful security cameras and Brad's all knowing stare. Much to her irritation, Melanie loves it. She loves the manicured grounds, and the helpful groom that has to work for her or be kicked out on his ass, and the microwave that looks like a bread box. She loves it. So much that she goes to a formal event at Townsend Acres. She wears a dress. And it is tight, and mid-thigh, and low-scooped, and splashed with primary colors. Even Jazz decides that tonight is not the night for his all black ensemble, or his groom outfit, or his geek costume complete with pocket protector. Tonight is the night for no ties and no socks. Jazz cannot be contained. Nor can Christina. She waltzes in wearing a short blue dress and strappy heels.

For a second--a brief, almost horrifying second--I imagined this as a CW show. And it almost worked. I could almost see it happening. But then Christina opened her mouth and started to accuse Melanie of abandoning family for the enemy, and then I couldn't decide if that made this vision worse or better. Melanie insists that she did it for Image. It was all for Image! Only Christina doesn't believe her and flounces off, somehow managing not to break her ankle while wearing heels for the first time in her life. Melanie then overhears people talking about how little a chance they believe Image has, and because she is a Thoroughbred series character she seriously takes this to heart.

When derby day dawns, Melanie puts Jazz's new silks on and stares at herself in the mirror long enough to feel self-conscious when someone else walks into the jockey's room. It was just a loose thread! Ha ha! I wasn't just staring at myself, or anything. Christina gives her a look, and probably rolls her eyes. Then Wolf gets into a jockey war of words that is ridiculous, and Melanie has to break it up before they start calling each other jerkface and proclaim that the other will eat their dust. OOOOMG. Jockey fights are the best.

Out in the paddock, Jazz kisses Melanie for good luck and off they go. Admittedly, I was bored, so I skimmed through the race, but rest assured that the announcer said something stupid and all the horses are so evenly matched that they all tried to run in front together. Only at the very end of the race do Image, Celtic Mist and Gratis break free of the clump and race on to victory. Star, as fate would have it, got stuck behind horses, which is a phenomenal achievement when there are only nine horses in the race. Nice work, Chris!

But then, after the high of winning the Kentucky Derby, Image breaks her leg and falls to the ground. Melanie goes into shock and wakes up in a hospital bed with a broken rib and a bruised lung, which means she is just sympathetic enough now for Chris to make the effort to make up. Everyone group hugs, and Melanie decides to let Image die, which is probably the most adult decision anyone has ever made in this series, considering it's a series of completely ridiculous recoveries and declarations of "we must try!" Melanie just throws in the towel, knowing that Image is the second coming of Ruffian and isn't going to stand for a sling and will probably tear down her stall.


And thus Perfect Image dies.

Ha! No, wait. This is still the Thoroughbred series. Here's what really happens: Melanie goes back to Townsend Acres, under the impression that she will stay there for a few days with Christina and Parker and Jazz and this is okay with all their parents despite them being rowdy teens. They are rowdy teens in mourning, I guess, so whatever. Before Melanie can get to the guest house ENTER BRAD TOWNSEND who is all come, Melanie, allow me to show you my super awesome medical facility that is part of my super awesome Thoroughbred farm because I am so super awesome I can barely be contained. COME WITH ME. And Melanie, because she cannot say no and has no power against him, goes. Brad shows off the whole place, and forces Melanie to agree that he is awesome. Although she is suspect, because Brad is cheerful and chipper, and for whatever reason everyone in this series gives Brad the side eye when he's happy. Then he shows her the pool, and lo...there is Image treading up a storm.

Melanie falls to her knees, totally stunned, and Brad lets out one final, "Yes, I am this awesome" before he magically disappears before Melanie or Jazz can find and thank him. At one point, someone actually says they should thank Brad..."wherever he went."

Brad Townsend = Batman. I'm just saying.

So then Melanie jumps in the pool and swims out to Image, and it's heartwarming and actually an okay ending. So there.

Talking Points:

• A lot is made of Whitebrook really depending on Star and expecting him to do well in the Kentucky Derby, but I'm not sure that's ever been the case. Case in point: see all the times everyone didn't want to race him after the virus. 
• Ashleigh never won the Triple Crown, apparently. She just won "jewels," much like Julie Krone.
• Also, Wonder never won the Derby after Winning Colors. 
• Also, Champion never won the Triple Crown. Whitebrook has now "never had a Triple Crown winner."
• Ashleigh, at one point, says that the farm isn't able to handle the kind of attention they're receiving. She waves her arms around and says, "Look at this place!" I think...I may be imaging some of it because I find it super amusing. But it's still basically what happened.
• I highly doubt Ashleigh would act like that much of a bitch to her niece. Christina, yes. I mean, that's a given any day of the week for any reason at all, but Ashleigh never had it in her to make Melanie feel that unwelcome. I think there's always been an undercurrent of Ashleigh finding Image unruly and not worth the trouble, but this book takes it too far. And where the hell is Mike to temper this craziness? 
• Brad has Melanie's dad and her stepmom ride some boat in some Kentucky Derby festival thing and they're all besides themselves because to ride this boat is reserved for dignitaries or whatever and I imagined Brad Townsend standing atop it, staring into the wind, being so full of awesome no one dare approach as the boat wins their festival race by daylight. 
• And then Image won and Star came in last. I still can't wrap my brain around this. Years have passed and I am still awed and confused by this decision.

 Anyhoo. So that's the Kentucky Derby. Next up, the Preakness (wherein Star still doesn't win.)

Star's Chance: And then they got lost in Montana.

Star's Chance

Thoroughbred #45

by Karle Dickerson

2001

Will Star ever regain his spirit?

At last, Wonder's Star has recovered from the illness that halted his promising racing career so suddenly. The vet says he'll be back on the track in no time. But Christina Reese is convinced the colt has lost his spirit. She can't seem to communicate with him like she used to. Christina needs help.

When Lyssa Hynde offers to work her magic with Star, Christina takes the colt to Lyssa's ranch in Montana to rehabilitate. But Montana is worlds away from the track, and Christina and Star are lost there. Will Christina and Star learn to take risks and trust each other again?

The last time I read about Lyssa, I remember wishing she would drown in a shallow puddle of water. That desire really hasn't gone away, so I was curious to see how I'd react to Star's Chance, which initially seems like a flagrant device to get Lyssa back into the storyline.

Because we all love Lyssa.

Star's Chance begins with Star having rebounded from death, which seems like a pretty nifty trick because the last we saw him he was practically cast in his stall and only Christina's magical girl tears saved him from certain doom. The vet proclaims him fine, but cautions Chris about taking it easy with Star until he regains his strength. There's no telling if he'll ever bounce back to racing form, and the vet takes it even further by saying there's no telling he'll ever be strong enough to even breed. But what does he know? He is merely a vet! Christina knows what is best for her wonder pony, okay? And he's going to run in the Kentucky Derby next year, because that's what's best for the horse.

About two and a half days go by, with Christina getting ever more frustrated with Star's "lack of spirit" when she rides him. Parker mentions that if Lyssa were here, she would have Star back to his old self in a couple of hours, max. Then he has a most fantastic idea! Perhaps Christina should take Star to Lyssa, who lives on a dude ranch in Montana. Christina is certainly unenthused about this idea, telling him he is "absolutely nuts" and in no way is she taking her wonder pony to Montana to re-enact The Horse Whisperer, just without the death and the sex.

Enter Brad Townsend, because where plot goes stagnant, Brad Townsend has to be called in to stir up the pot. Asked to accompany Parker to a Townsend party, Christina is forced to stand around with people who are just as well off as she is, but have the gall to actually act rich and wear sparkly things. The nerve.

Instantly, Brad appears by Christina to tell her that he's heard about her troubles with Star, this being the third day after Star's been cleared for some light activity. Christina begins to ask how he heard, but he says, "No, it wasn't Parker. But I have my ways." Yes, he reads minds. Stunned, Christina instantly goes on alert, falling back to her default stance as indignant horse loving teen, asking him why he even cares, apparently having forgotten that Brad only antagonizes her because it is basically good sport. Brad insists that selling Star was the best business decision he ever made, taking the time to lift up her hand and point out her blisters and broken nails, because he is a master at deduction.

Christina promises that he'll regret selling Star, and he pretty much tells her that no, he will not. Then he saunters off, his work here done. Game, set, match. Brad Townsend wins at life. Immediately Christina rushes back to Parker, insisting that they have to go now so she can call Lyssa and go to Montana to help Star. Despite having only worked with Star for three days. I think someone has some instant gratification issues.

Because no one in Thoroughbred goes to school, and Ashleigh is a horrible parent, Christina goes to Montana with Lyssa's uncle, subjecting herself and me to every Western stereotype you can think of for the next hundred pages. Star is loaded onto a trailer with cattle, hauled by a truck that could very well fall apart at any second, with the radio station permanently tuned to Western music. Once they arrive in Montana, Christina is ushered into the house, where everything is beige and tastefully decorated in horse themed or Navajo prints. Instantly, some guy named Ray asks Christina if her horse's spirit is broken, and what the hell it totally is not! How dare he kind of be ignorantly astute like that! Only Christina can use similar verbiage to basically say the same thing.

Lyssa tries to placate Christina by saying that Ray doesn't know any better. He is, after all, from Arizona, where jerks come from. Ray continues to try to win Christina over, using common forms of conversation starters that Christina construes as "creepy" behavior. When she's not avoiding Ray, she's on super defensive mode with Lyssa, because despite the fact that she trailered Star all the way to Montana with heifers she ultimately wants nothing to do with Lyssa's supposed advice. Also despite being totally about Lyssa's training techniques back in Close Call.

Eventually, Lyssa demands that Christina take Star out into a reservoir in order for him to fight out his problems with her, because that's what the American Indians do, I guess. Christina isn't having any of that, no matter how many American Indians gentled horses this way. Star is a racehorse, damn it. She cannot hurt him, despite the fact that she's trailered him all the way to Montana for seemingly no reason and is about to take him on a round up type thing in the wilderness, where he will inevitably get lost and wind up roaming the countryside in search of his previously completely insane personality.

So this is what they do. Star gets loose up in the mountains, and Christina speeds off after him. Eventually they all get lost, Christina finds Star predictably injured, and winds up spending the night with him out in the wood somewhere. The next morning, Christina rides Star (sans tack, of course) into a river, where Star completely flips out and does his fight the water deal that brings his old personality back. And then they both climb out of the river and die of hypothermia.

Or not. Lyssa finds them, and all is well. Christina gets to put a checkmark next to Montana on her list of states that she has visited, and Star is set to win the Kentucky Derby. Surely he will not finish, you know, last. Or anything. That would be entirely too unjust.

• There is one thing I liked about this book: Christina never really admits that Lyssa's advice helped or did anything positive at all. By the end, she's really had it and starts to freak out at Lyssa about how it is entirely useless to train horses to open gates. And Lyssa actually does manage to look a little sheepish about it, because her horse was the one that let Star out to begin with.
• I really don't buy Parker telling Christina to take Star to Lyssa. I would accept this plot if Christina had dreamed up this idea, and then gotten totally overwhelmed when she finally gets there because she is a mother hen when it comes to her horse.
• Ashleigh, you suck so much. When Christina calls her mother up to tell her about this round up she's taking Star on, the very round up in which she loses Star, the only thing Ashleigh says is, "Sounds like it will be an adventure." Right about here is when you put your foot down and demand that your daughter bring her damn wonder pony back to Kentucky, because if the magical trick is thrashing around in water, I'm pretty sure you could have done that at home.
• Three days! She only waits three days before taking Star to Montana. Seriously.

And that was a Thoroughbred book.

Fallen Star: a study in repetition.

Fallen Star
Thoroughbred #43
by Mary Newhall Anderson


I don't mind this cover, even though I will never be a fan of this style, whatever you want to call it.

Has Star run his last race?

Christina Reese and Wonder's Star are about to race at Belmont, one of the most prestigious tracks in the country. Christina is confident that she and Star are going to blow all the New York horses away. But when the gates fly open at the start of the race, Star feels sluggish--something is wrong!

Christina takes Star home to Whitebrook, hoping that he'll recover in time for their next race. But Star's condition only gets worse. Faced with the possibility that Star may never race again--he may not even live--Christina doesn't find winning so important anymore. Will Christina give up her racing career to save the horse she loves?

Wow, this synopsis makes me want to tear out my hair for so many reasons. It's like Mary wrote it herself, and no offense to Mary or anything, but this isn't her best showing. In fact, of all the books I've read of hers, Fallen Star might be the worst in the writing department. (Derby Fever continues to hold on as the worst, period.) It's not that I don't appreciate Mary's enthusiasm, and her need to champion the wishes of the readers, but it's just that I maintain that the plotlines Mary wound up having a hand in creating were WEIRD and poorly developed, but then that's probably an understatement.

Anyway, the synopsis seems to think that a big plot point of this book was Christina deciding to scrap her racing career in favor of nursing her sick horse back to health. This isn't exactly what I'd call a Major Issue. In fact, I'd probably call it a non issue. We all know Christina's career is going to be just fine. I mean, she'd have to ride in a race drunk before she'd ruin her career. Moving on.

This book is the beginning of The Great Backstory You Maybe Wanted To Know But Wound Up Disliking And Wishing It Never Existed. Also known as Mary's delightful romp through Thoroughbred history, recreating things as she goes. In short, Cindy is back. Notice how she's not mentioned at all in the synopsis. Yeah, I liked that too. Anyway, we start this book at Belmont Park, because that is where Brad told Ashleigh to take Star, because as we have seen in the New Generation, Ashleigh is, for whatever reason, completely clueless. It's these little things about the New Gen that I love, I admit. Anyway, Christina goes rushing off to meet Star and frolics around with Gratis before Cindy's all, okay crazy lady, why don't you do some work and check in with Vince? And Christina is all with the "You are dragging my mood down! Why can't you see that frolicking and patting my pretty horse are more important?!"

But Cindy does appear to have a point, so Christina takes her attitude to Vince and learns about Rush Street, giant supposed competitor that is designed to take the wind out of her sails a bit and take the edge off of her freakishly giant mega ego in this book. Due to this plot development, Christina is set on defensive mode. Not a good mode for Christina, because she winds up verbally abusing a chipper reporter, who has taken it into his head to question Star's awesomeness by calling him a slacker.

I have no idea where this opinion is coming from. Why someone is always around trying to make an underdog of Wonder's foals is beyond me, because NONE OF THEM were underdogs. Ever. I can only assume that he's saying this to set Christina off and get some good quotes, because like anyone was doubting Star was going to the Derby. So Christina yells at the reporter, and Cindy is again "whoa, crazy lady, don't brag that much!" before she goes into a rapid display of namedropping and, obviously, bragging. Christina notes this and moves on to the race, which Gratis wins over Rush Street in a hand ride. So...that's another moment of speculative competition crushed.

Enter Ben al-Rihani! Cindy acts more frigid than usual, mutters to Christina that Ben is a misogynistic degenerate, and Christina points out that Ben's trainer is a woman and Cindy isn't having any of this logic. He must have changed! Grumble, grumble, etc. We're setting up for Cindy's Lost Diaries, if anyone is curious about this. I am not, so I'm going to proceed to ignore all of Cindy's Ben angst for this book.

Star loses his seven furlong allowance race and there is chagrin all around. Clearly something is wrong, because Wonder horses don't just lose like that. Of course, the horse next to Star is sick, but no one takes much consideration of this (besides, Chris, of course, because she is ever vigilant) until it's too late. Star is sick, comes home to Whitebrook, and all hell breaks loose.

By "all hell," I mean that Christina spends a lot of time saying, "You have to get well!" and "You are going to get better, aren't you?" It sort of sucks the desperation out of the story when the book essentially starts to spin its wheels. Chapters go by of the same thing: Cindy is surly because she can't ride due to her shoulder injury, Christina worries about Star, the vet comes to say something remarkably similar to the last chapter, Brad says something that irritates Christina, and Ashleigh says, "Don't worry, Chris." That's about five chapters, right there.

Eventually there are a couple of changes, because something has to happen before this book ends. Change #1) Cindy rediscovers her love for horses. Change #2) Brad decides Star is hopeless and sells him to Christina. I have trouble buying into either of these things, mainly because it's hard for me to see Cindy losing her love of horses. Becoming surly and bitchy, YES. Pushing horses around, no. Also, Brad just randomly giving Christina his interest in Star for some paltry amount seems...nice. Too nice. And random. Too random. The only good explanation that is given for this is his insistence that their insurance on the horse doesn't cover, what, death? So even this is stupid. I find this whole thing ridiculous, pretty much.

So Christina runs home, fresh from Brad selling Star to her for peanuts and his news that the horse that had been stabled next to Star has died. Star gets worse almost immediately, but Christina's vocal encouragement and tears of wonder and amazement gives Star the courage to fight a little bit more to, like, move his leg as he twitches and slightly attempts to fight off death.

Everyone cheers. The end.

Can I focus on Mary's inadvertently hilarious introductions for a moment? Take this attempt to insert the vet into the scene at the end of the book:

Chris: Star, can't you hang on? Do it for us, boy.
Ashleigh: Look at him. He's trying, Chris.
Vet: Hello.

I think this is fantastic, because for some reason I keep envisioning him just popping up during this "touching" moment and singing "Hellllloooo!"

Points:

• Freddy is wearing a linen pantsuit in the colors of her farm. Which is purple and green. I'm pretty sure Mary didn't intend to make me think of the Joker, but unfortunately for her this is where my mind went immediately.

• After Christina spends the first chapter complaining to herself that she'll never have enough money to buy Brad's share in Star, she immediately has a flare of hope after Freddy gives her $4,000. Granted, I'd like someone to just walk up to me and hand me $4,000, but under no circumstances would I find this a life altering gift. Get a grip, Chris.

• After Christina completely freaks out about Rush Street, of course she beats him on Gratis with only a hand ride. How freakishly predictable.

• But Ben (al-Rihani) will be watching for Chris and her "clever strategies." Brilliant comedy. That is what this is.

• "We'll show these New York horses what a Kentucky-bred colt can do." And here is where I interject that most American racehorses are bred in Kentucky. Sorry to burst your bubble there, Thoroughbred, but your characters are not cute underdogs and they are not in the minority. Ever.

• I find Christina's confidence in this book sickening.

• Yes, because entering your horse in a seven furlong race makes tons of sense if you know he's a distance runner. I need Brad Townsend here, stat! He'll smack some sense into these people.

• Bad Writing Award! It officially goes to Mary Newhall Anderson for this book and her need to tell us that the horses on either side of Star in the starting gate are the three and the five when we ALREADY KNOW he is the four horse. God, Mary, redundant much?

• Today Brad is driving a shiny sports car, which I appreciate so much more than that blue sedan business from the book previous.

• Someone please tell me how a tweed sports jacket and beige slacks is supposed to be intimidating? I know this is Brad, and he intimidates everyone by just showing up, but when he insists on dressing like Indiana Jones in an academic setting I'm not sure if this works.

• "If Christina had been paying attention during the race, she wouldn't have missed at least a dozen chances. She got overconfident, and she blew it." As usual, Brad is SO RIGHT. And as usual, Christina "grits her teeth" because truth is so awkward! And then Ashleigh says something "neutral" that is not neutral at all. Oh, you guys. Don't ever change.

• "Are you saying I'm not a capable trainer, Brad?" Oh, for Christ's sake, Ashleigh. Given that Brad has apparently been telling you everything you need to do with Star for the past few books, I'd say Brad is pretty on the money.

• Does anyone else find it odd that the only treatment they're giving Star is stall rest and vitamin supplements?

Really, not a good book. Although Brad was awesome, so that's at least something.

The Bad Luck Filly, or the pot calling the kettle black.

The Bad Luck Filly
Thoroughbred #42
by Alice Leonhardt
2000

This book is hilarious! Let's take a look, shall we?


I never really liked this cover, mainly because the composition doesn't even try for pleasing. It also occurred to me recently that Melanie has selected a coat that Dracula would love. This isn't really surprising to me, come to think of it, because Melanie is the girl who wears purple fringed suede of her own free will. Despite that, I do like the background of this cover. I even like the attempt at shadows, and the vague suggestion that someone is leading that bay horse...totally ignoring that Melanie just got her ass handed to her and Image is about ready to tear out of her paddock.

Melanie has her hands full....

Melanie Graham can't help herself--she's fallen in love with the high-spirited black filly, Perfect Image. More than anything, Melanie wants to help train the filly and be the first one to race her.

Despite her name, Image is anything but perfect. The filly has been spoiled by her doting owner since birth, and is impossible to handle. In fact, her trainer wants to give up and turn Image into a broodmare, hoping her foals will have better sense than she does. But Melanie is sure that Image was born to win. Will Melanie fight for the horse she loves?

The Bad Luck Filly is initially amusing because it's about an old lady spoiling a filly rotten, thereby creating an animal that is impossible to handle, and it takes one of our beloved main characters, who are just as guilty of this behavior pretty much always, to correct it. It's actually mind boggling if you sit and ponder this plot for any stretch of time.

Because we haven't actually heard from Melanie's perspective in a while--all the way back to Dead Heat, under far different circumstances--this book takes a bit of adjustment. You don't really know where Melanie's mindset is, much less know anything about her relationship with Kevin. This convinces me that Melanie should have been thrown out as a main character when the Wonder's Legacy Trilogy occurred, because after five Christina books encompassing about three years, we don't know much at all about Melanie other than the following: she got her apprentice license, was pretty good up until she fell off Fast Gun, is now suffering through what can only be called self-esteem issues, and Kevin broke up with her because she's boring. That's all that can be said for her over three years, guys. What story can we dream up that makes her at all interesting?

Don't count Alice Leonhardt out! Oh, Alice will spin you a story. A rather obvious, predictable story that takes the Do It Yourself concept to a whole other level. We start out with Melanie and Christina exercising horses for Vince Jones. Christina is doing super fantastic lately, and Melanie is trying not to be jealous, but sort of failing. She is upset with herself that she's not as good as she wants to be, upset that Christina gets more attention, and upset that she doesn't have a super fantastic awesome wonder pony upon which she can slather attention. What is a sixteen-year-old senior in high school (is this possible without skipping a grade?) to do? Why, she has to find a super special horse totally out of the blue the moment she's feeling at her lowest about her failures at being awesome.

The horse is Image. What's weird about this is she's met Image before, but I guess the light bulb didn't click on until now. That's highly suspicious, Melanie. I doubt your commitment to the wonder pony! I'm not all that sure what attracts Melanie to Image, other than her shiny black wonder pony coat, but then she's seen that before, so I don't get it. She just springs at the filly like a twelve-year-old girl does to a chestnut horse, and that's that. Wonder pony/special main character bond of love and trust and awesomeness commences!

Or maybe not? Because then Image gets loose and nearly runs over Melanie, who has this idea that if she stands right in front of a charging horse she will: A) stop that horse in its tracks and B) make that horse fall in love with her and not C) accidentally be trampled. As it happens, Image just avoids her, ignores her totally, and Melanie falls in love. This is not what anyone intended, but I guess Melanie will just have to work with what she's given.

So, Image runs onto the track, causes an accident with Christina and Gratis, and everyone yells that Image is an idiot filly with a teeny tiny idiot brain. Melanie tries to say that she is really the smartest filly there ever was, only no one cares and shuts her up halfway through her spiel about Image's big, idiot brain. Vince decides to ship Image back to Tall Oaks, and Melanie manages to wiggle her way into helping train the filly in her spare time, because otherwise Image will be prepared for the ultimate doom...breeding. Yes, yes, are we all properly horrified? I thought you might be!

But first, Melanie has to go to a concert with Parker, Christina, and this guy named Fred. Because the concert is hot and makes the kids appropriately sweaty (in a G-Rated sort of way), Parker suggests that they go swimming. Christina is all for this, but wants to stop at home to get her swimsuit only to be laughed at, making her all flustered because just what is Parker implying? Surely it's not...of course he wouldn't...like, no way! Yes, no way. Parker is implying that they swim in the clothes they've got on, Chris. You and your dirty mind! So they go to this house, where there is a lifestyles of the rich and famous party going on. Brad is there, drinking cocktails, probably drunk, regaling anyone who will listen about his awesomeness. And Ashleigh and Mike are there, for some reason, dancing all over the place in bare feet. I'm not sure what's going on here, but I have a feeling Brad's awesomeness has gotten to them. They have traded their jeans for silk shift dresses, so you know now that Brad has won the war.

Anyway, during the party Brad makes fun of Melanie's interest in Image, which comes totally out of nowhere. Kevin, however, knows why Brad doesn't want Melanie to care about Image! Kevin, please explain this to me, because I'm pretty sure this is baseless stupidity on Alice's part! Kevin: Brad is angry that he sold Image's dam to Freddy, blah blah blah, wants her back, blah. This is ridiculous, Kevin. I find this explanation lacking. Maybe he's just, I don't know, telling Melanie the truth. God forbid! Okay, maybe he's just toying with her for the fun of it. And then the kids jump in the pool.

So, as it happens, Image is quite insane. And quite annoying. And very out of control. And Melanie is completely out of her depth with her attempts at training her, which does not come as a surprise at all because she's never actually tried to train a horse before. So after a week goes by, and Melanie tries to saddle the filly, and the filly goes bonkers, who is surprised? No one? Naturally. Melanie gets Kevin to help her with Image. Things go splendidly, until Alexis (or the evil farm manager who only Melanie only senses is evil, of course) drives a van by the farm and spooks the filly. Kevin smacks his knee, and bruises himself badly enough to miss most of his soccer season, potentially throwing his soccer scholarship in doubt. To which I have to say that Ian probably has enough money to pay for Kevin's college in one fell swoop, so don't give me this bullshit about scholarships, Thoroughbred. The Wind Chaser storyline be damned!

Melanie goes through all the levels of self-doubt through this book, comes to the conclusion that she really doesn't know what she's doing, that she was stupid to believe she could just magic a connection between herself and Image, and then goes to the trusted, most valued source for advice. The great Ashleigh Griffen. So we get another rousing story of Ashleigh's Wonder and the meaning of hard work, and how you have to believe in your goal, because if you just want to train a horse to prove your doubters wrong you are totally not going anywhere! Although, Ashleigh, sweetie, are you forgetting that whole PROVING BRAD WRONG motivation that you KIND OF HAD all through, OH, FOUR BOOKS?

Sigh. SIGH. At this point, Melanie decides that Pirate is going to help Image get over her bitchiness. Pirate smacks Image around a little, teaches her the meaning of respect, and just like that Image calms down enough to be trained enough to pony well next to Pirate. Vince comes along, proclaims her racehorse material because she can pony without killing something, and decides to take her back to the track with him...where Melanie will never see her again! Melanie feels the unfairness of life. Poor her.

Because Brad has advised Ashleigh that she needs to take Star to Belmont (because Brad knows how to train racehorses better than she does...which is wildly apparent in some books, and this is one of them), Christina, Mike and Ashleigh go to Belmont and leave Melanie to her own devices. Melanie goes to Tall Oaks to see Image one last time, only to see her carted off to Turfway. Melanie suffers yet another mental break, pitches a fit, but Image is still carted off to Turfway. Then Kevin gives her a motivational, albeit brief, speech about...something. Then they follow the filly to Turfway.

• She was awesome. Awesome!

• I can't decide if U Got It is a really horrible attempt at fictionalizing U2, or if it's just the most pathetic attempt at band naming ever to exist in the history of Thoroughbred.

• Strumming his guitar, Mikey Krash, the lead singer for U Got It, belted out the last line. The drummer beat his drums and cymbals in a frenzy, and the backup singers gyrated and wailed. That's it. Alice, I'm putting you on my list of authors never to take seriously ever again.

• Who ever thought a song called "Jam With Me" might include lyrics "You gotta jam with me!" Alice, you are cementing my decision!

• Who widens their eyes at Porsches, Jaguars and BMWs? Those are the cars of the sort of rich, but not flagrantly, stupidly rich. Get a grip, Mel.

• Brad drives a blue sedan? I disapprove! Or maybe that's just the car he drives when he's trying to be inconspicuous?

• Okay, it's time for another one of Brad's amazing fashion moments. Observe: Dressed in white pants with a perfect crease, his signature navy blue blazer with gold buttons, a crisp white shirt, and a blue cravat, Brad looked as though he were about to sail off on a yacht. ALICE. WHY. Also, this just lends more proof to my theory that the New Generation authors think Brad was born in the 1800's.

• And why are Ashleigh and Mike at this party? Why are they wearing fancy clothes? What is going on here? I...just don't comprehend.

• Why in the hell is Star running in 1 1/2 mile races at two?

• "Belmont's got a mile-and-a-half Grade I race for two- and three-year-old colts." No it doesn't. Just...no. It really doesn't.

• Whitebrook hadn't had a horse like Star since Wonder's Pride had won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. Damn. There are so many things wrong with this statement, I don't even know where to start.

• [Mike] was clutching the dashboard, his knuckles white. You know, this seems like a hard thing to do. Also, stop being a drama queen, Mike!

• For the last time, Alice, there is no starting gun.

• The Whitebrook crew is so American. Hot dogs, hamburgers, or fried chicken. Every night!

• "I assume Image is a horse and not the name of your new boyfriend." Funny how you should say that, Will.

• Alexis tells Melanie: "Welcome to the real world." Real world? What is this real world of which you speak? Thoroughbred doesn't attempt real, okay? It specializes in the literary equivalent of hugs and kisses.

• "That's the girl I know and love!" Well, that was awkward. Nicely done, Kevin!

So, I did enjoy this book for the hilarity. I also enjoyed it for the fact that things don't end in hugs and happy whinnies. I also find it interesting that suddenly Whitebrook hasn't had a racehorse on par with Star since Wonder's Pride, which must have something to do with the editor's orders that nothing from the Cindy era ever be mentioned in the New Generation. At this point, Mary Anderson hadn't torn through that wall, so Wonder's Champion and March to Glory aren't just ignored, they don't exist. Frankly, I kind of like this version of Thoroughbred.

Mary Anderson is not conducive to my mental stability.

Down to the Wire
Thoroughbred #38
by Mary Newhall Anderson

This is one of those books where I'll just start to type as I read, because Down to the Wire is Mary Anderson's debut, and I think it's rather widely acknowledged that Mary was exceptionally well meaning, but she half-assed on the execution. This might be because Mary wasn't exactly the strongest writer brought on board the Thoroughbred series. In fact, this book is a little painful in the show not tell department. However, Mary tried, and seemed so genuinely determined, so I'll always give her a little sentimental A for effort, but honestly she did a lot of weird things, for which I can never quite forgive her.

I don't mind this cover, although something about it looks awkward. It is nice to see yet another version of Whitebrook's silks on a Thoroughbred cover, though. That is a big plus.

A tough choice...

Wonder's Star has returned to Whitebrook Farm, and Christina Reese is thrilled to have him home again. But if Star doesn't win one of his first two races, Townsend Acres will take him back forever.

Christina isn't a jockey yet -- the thought of racing terrifies her -- but Star won't run well for anyone else. Will Christina have to become Star's jockey in order to save him?

This is actually a correct summary, if you don't count that tag line, because I can't quite figure out what the tough choice is referring to. What tough choice is she making in this summary? The choice between jockeying Star and possibly keeping him, or not jockeying Star and definitely not keeping him? There is no hint of this being a choice in the book. There's hardly even a choice between Sterling and Star in the book. So...gotta love those summary writers, am I right?

That all said, let's hop back on the recycled plotline merry-go-round. Star is preparing to start his racing career, and there's all this angst about it because if Star doesn't do well in one of his first two races he will be shipped back to Townsend Acres, where he needlessly suffered for no discernible reason other than it suited Alice Leonhardt's whims. Lately he's just been super shiny, what with Chris exercising him at Keeneland and what all. Apparently Mary has been doing some racing homework, because she's breaking out all these racing rules about published works and requirements that have to be met before a horse can be entered in its first race. You see, these are things I appreciate for their levels of realism, but to a certain degree it's just filler. In this case, who knows if they're totally made up facts. In this instance, I didn't really care. The important thing to note is how anxious Chris is about the whole thing. Training Star = Racing Star = Possibly Giving Up Star. Her logic is remarkably simple, and repeated frequently. This issue rears its ugly head immediately in the first chapter, when Brad and Parker show up at Keeneland to see what Ashleigh & Co. are up to with Star. The conversation goes as all conversations inevitably do when Brad discusses anything with someone from Whitebrook. Essentially:

Brad: Hi.
Ash: *cool stare* Hello.
Brad: *is too cool to care* I see you are working Star. How is he?
Ash: He is fine.
Brad: His times suggest he should start racing.
Ash: We are in agreement.
Brad: Great. Tell me when you're racing him. How about in two weeks? I'll be around then.
Christina: *shifty eyes*
Ash: We will inform you of our race choice ASAP.
Brad: Excellent. I will now depart. *departs*
Christina: OMG! I HATE HIM!
Ash: I know honey, I know.

Seriously?

Anyway, Brad exits with Parker, who does not give Christina the immediate attention she desires and yearns for, which obviously tips Christina off that something is wrong. Although we can save this for later, because this is just one of the issues with Mary's writing. What we have to deal with now is Star being a Wonder foal. Obviously the Wonder foals are exceptional race horses, but none of those horses were really that sane. They're all persnickety brats when it comes right down to it, and Star is no exception. He is a one person horse, just like his mom, which we all saw coming. So when Naomi tries to exercise him, his times suffer, and while no one thinks that's a big deal, Chris is about ready to have a heart attack over it. Chris should clearly be Star's jockey, but because I guess everyone lacks the necessary foresight here, she does not have her jockey's license and there is no time for her to get a license before his first race, and she needs to have a few test races first before she can just get on a maiden...all very logical except there was all that time before...you know, between when Christina was fifteen in the last book and when she's sixteen in this one? What have they been doing? Anticipating disaster and looking forward to the angsting they can accomplish?

Well, whatevers. When Star's race comes up, Naomi rides him and Star barely gets what's expected of him. He practically canters past the grandstand, then passes most of the horses like they're standing still, then goes back to cantering or something and comes in fourth. This is a disaster, clearly. Star has one more chance to get his act together, or back he goes to live with Brad.

Next to this whole issue we have dear, sweet Parker, who is over there acting all weird in Christina's uber special presence. He's avoiding Christina, and even goes so far as to drive her home from school in complete silence, provoking Christina's probing questions about his home life. Randomly he tells her that his father is trying to control his life and his mother spends too much time with her beauty products, and his is not a happy home. Although then he seems to do a complete turn around during yet another picnic, when he tells Christina that he has a sudden change of college plans, which now include going to a business school in Italy, of all places, because Brad somehow has connections in Italy. Naturally, I don't question Brad having connections in Italy, I just wonder about why Parker is all happy to go, especially after he's all reticent to listen to Brad's nefarious plans to dictate his life (according to Parker). Perhaps it has something to do with Brad changing tactics and using his persuasive voice...who knows. Anyway, Parker seems to have decided on Italy, letting Brad plan his life for him and seemingly being okay with the manipulation...again. Really, it's too easy for Brad in some cases.

While Brad is busy getting Parker to fall into line with his plans, he's also busy manipulating Ashleigh (again). He wants Star to race in some other stakes at Churchill Downs, and because Brad has ordered it, it's going to damn well happen. Ashleigh yet again bows to his will, which never ceases to amaze me, and because it's been proven that Naomi and Star are a no go, they are going to use Melanie on Star, who has somehow been proven to connect with Star enough to get results (I guess this happened at some point, because there is photographic evidence, but Mary never bothers to show us Melanie and Star interacting much at all, so I remain unconvinced). Christina is pissy some more about this development, and so is Melanie, because Melanie knows Christina has a bond with Star and blah blah blah. The problem here is, of course, that Christina has no license. This is because she hasn't mastered gate work yet. So she gets her ass in gear and starts to work on the gate. This takes up a lot of time, because she really sucks at breaking out of the gate. When Ashleigh gets her a gate test, she actually loses a stirrup and nearly falls off the horse, so while I appreciate that Christina isn't immediately perfect at this stuff (such as Cindy, and Ashleigh before her, not to mention Samantha's random steeplechase) I still have to wonder...why weren't they working on this way way way before their inevitable problem?

In the middle of her gate work issues, Christina decides to move Sterling to Samantha's farm, and subsequently sells Sterling. Samantha buys her and decides to lease her out to the new girl, Kaitlin. I will give Mary some points here, because I think she did a good job with...some of this. I wasn't too thrilled with Samantha suddenly going, "Oh, hey, I have money and can buy Sterling." Also the whole plot is still contrived and forced, given all the anti-racing sentiments other authors (Allison Estes, I'm looking at you) forced on Christina. That goes without saying. However, Christina didn't dump Sterling off with Kaitlin without putting thought behind her actions, and I liked the transition Mary made between leaving Sterling with Samantha and moving on to Star, so while I get the complaining about this, I would have had a far greater issue had Christina kept Sterling and managed to have the best of both worlds. So, frankly, I feel most of the angry reaction to "dumping" Sterling off on Kaitlin was exaggerated. There was plenty of discussion about what was fair to the horse, so I can't see what more we could have logically expected from Thoroughbred on this.

Anyway, we're getting closer to race time for Star and Ashleigh is still being all weird about letting Christina test again, even after Christina has worked and worked to the point of perfection on breaking from the gate. Why does Ashleigh stall on this? It's Mary Anderson's attempt at creating false drama, and that's pretty much it. She gives absolutely no reason why she wants Christina to wait...she just does. However, conveniently for Christina, Ashleigh wants to take Star and Melanie up to Churchill Downs for a week to prepare for the race. I guess Melanie no longer needs to be at school...I'm sure her dad is thrilled. This gives Christina a window to act irresponsibly (but always correctly) to go out and get her gate test done without Ashleigh's approval. She calls up Parker, insists on having him drive her and Sassy Jazz to Keeneland, and she tests wonderfully with Vicky and Tommy (jockeys who were apparently there way back when in Thoroughbred canon, but not, if you get my drift). Christina gets her jockey's license, and all is happiness and light until she gets home and realizes that Ashleigh has heard all about this and has rushed home to tell Chris that there is no guarantee that she'll ride Star in his race. Basically: "Congratulations! Oh, but this doesn't mean I'm letting you actually apply this to anything, sweetie. You disobeyed me, so feel my random, heartfelt wrath." Christina is crushed and feels the impending doom, probably envisioning Brad polishing his equine torture equipment.

So after this Ashleigh decides that they feel obligated to go to a flashy function, quite possibly the only function they've been to involving the Townsends that doesn't involve marriage vows. During the dinner, Ashleigh and Mike announce that Christina will ride Star, but then Brad comes along to rain on their parade by stating the obvious: Christina is not experienced enough! Or at all! She might, like, cause an accident, so he insists that he will make sure Christina doesn't ride the colt using his super co-owner powers. Ashleigh tries to cut in to argue, but he simply silences her by raising his hand and casually tells her that he'll protest and Star is as good as his. Ashleigh, completely astonished by how awesome he is, immediately surrenders. Like she always does.

Anyway, before the race, Melanie fakes an injury and Christina is swiftly ushered in as the replacement rider. Brad will never know because he always watches the races from the stands...which means he never visits the walking ring, or something? (Not to even mention this is totally not Brad's style, but whatever.) So Parker, of all people, gives Christina a leg up and she sees Brad looking all pissed off, but it's too late! She is on the horse and...yeah, like a horse can't be scratched at this point. Uh-huh. There's also this handy thing called disqualification, but we won't get into that.

So we have this super long race scene, where Christina spends most of the time freaking out as we get a furlong by furlong blow by blow of every tiny freaking thing that happens. Wow, that took a long time. Christina wins, Brad pretends to be happy (you know, he could be happy...I mean, what the hell?), Ashleigh and Brad have some weird off screen moment, Parker blows Christina a kiss and randomly tells her he's not going to Europe. He, like, never wanted to go in the beginning. Of course, I guess. Then everyone has a collective crazy moment over how fantastic Star is and how Ashleigh is so proud of Christina and everyone can rest easy. Star is staying at Whitebrook, everyone. Super!

• Melanie guided Heart through an invisible opening between the two leaders. An invisible opening?

• Mary has a tendency to simplify things to the point where she inadvertently changes facts. For instance, Ashleigh originally shipped Star off to Townsend Acres because she blamed herself for Wonder's death and seeing Star every day constantly reminded her of that fact. In Down to the Wire, this explanation has shifted to Ashleigh blaming Star for Wonder's death. I can see how Mary would make this mistake -- it's an easy one to make -- but it's just one of the many little ways she took a more complicated issue and dumbed it down.

• Also, Ashleigh did not ride Wonder in the Kentucky Derby. Why do we keep insisting on this, Mary? Why?

• Ashleigh says something about finding a nice maiden race for Star, and I guess all the nice maiden races were no good, or something, because she comes up with something called the Keeneland Futurity instead. By the way, this is all taking place in late March/early April...when two-year-olds aren't exactly running. Are we curious about the disconnect between Christina throwing a fit over backing Star a little earlier than expected and everyone totally being okay with racing Star before he's technically two? Yeah, I thought not.
  

• "I know it sounds pompous, but..." Wow, where have I heard this line before? Oh, yes. It was when Cindy said basically the same thing about being Glory's one special person in Glory's Triumph. Yes, Christina, it does make you sound horribly pompous to simply walk around telling people that they are not as special as you. Of course, in any real world this might rub someone the wrong way, but in Christina's world everyone more or less agrees.

• Everyone keeps shortening Samantha's name to Sam. This irritates me, because it was always shortened to Sammy, and even in the narrative it was always Samantha, not Sam.

• I find it weird that Parker is suddenly going to Henry Clay. Especially when Christina goes out to wait for Parker to pick her up after school. Like, couldn't she just walk out to his car with him? On top of that, no way in hell would Brad have his kid in a public school. There is about 0% chance of that being possible.

• I, personally, loved the scene where Christina had to go talk to the racing stewards before getting her license. There's something ridiculous about a few old men looking down their noses at Christina and saying something to the effect of: "Young lady, racing is dangerous. You know that, right?"

• Ashleigh spends a nice moment with Christina before the race, when she gives Chris her saddle that she used with Wonder. Only this occurs in the jockey's room, and jockeys don't bring their saddles out with them to the saddling paddock. But whatevers.

• Brad knows. Again. Christina assumes that he has been maneuvering to get Star back at Townsend Acres, but honestly I think he just likes creating drama while he gets everyone else to do all the work. He manipulates everyone, gets a winning race horse, and creates some havoc while he's at it. Sounds like a fun plan to me.
  

So, that completes the Wonder's Legacy trilogy. Started out great, got a little rocky, and then completely fell apart. That's the sort of consistency I like in my Thoroughbred books.

As it turns out, love can cure everything!

Star in Danger
Thoroughbred #37
by Alice Leonhardt
Published: 1999

I was extremely reticent to move on to this book after Without Wonder, mainly because I can't really handle it when Alice Leonhardt writes Christina and she tends to turn Brad into a chaotic mess stuck somewhere between a serious, well-deserved power trip and drunkenness. I'll get to that later, because really, this book made me cackle out loud on several occasions.

I really dislike this cover for a multitude of very obvious reasons that Claire already pointed out in her review. Plus, it looks like Star is shying at the pot of flowers in the lower right corner. Like, holy crap, petunias! Unfortunately, this is totally in character for Star. He's a nut case.

Will Christina ever see Star again?

Christina Reese is worried. She's been taking care of Wonder's Star ever since his dam, Wonder, died. Now Star has been sent to Townsend Acres, and Christina misses him terribly. She dreamed of eventing Star in the Olympics on day, but Brad Townsend has already started training him to race.

The only way for Christina to be near her colt is to work with Brad. But Star has changed since he left Whitebrook. The once sweet and gentle colt has become wild and difficult to manage. Can Christina save her beloved Star from being ruined?

Essentially: Special horse needs special treatment, but gets smacked with reality by dastardly, yet special, antagonist, thus the special horse prefers his special treatment that his special human deals out with special treats and specialness. Got it. After this book, I really am tired of the word special.

Okay, all that said, Alice should have stuck with Melanie. The last time she attempted Christina, we had Christina's Courage, and we know what a screwed up effort that was. However, I will say that Alice did a better job of it this time around, but it was touch and go there at the beginning because Christina is not willing to put up with this any longer, people. She wants her special horse back at his special farm now, and no dallying is going to placate her.

So we start off this installment yet another six months to a year after Without Wonder, or something like that. Really, all you need to know is that Christina is now 15. Parker is 17, Melanie is almost 16, etc. I guess I only mention their ages because I am always so shocked when the series skips years, given that it just spent twelve books on three months of time. More or less. I'm still desperately trying to adjust to these people actually being teenagers, and I've had a rather hard time of it. Anyway, it's March and everyone is eagerly anticipating Miss America giving birth to yet another foal that Melanie immediately names Miss Perfect, making me want to grab one of these authors and shake them repeatedly while screaming "Why do you name all your horses Perfect this, something's Heart or combine both words in some horrible attempt to sugar coat everything to death! WHY?" I'm really just waiting for someone to name a horse Perfeart, and the tragedy will be complete. Anyway, it's very obvious that Ashleigh is still shell shocked over Wonder and Mike is all "just drop it! don't upset her, for Christ's sake!" whenever Christina points out that Star might very possibly belong at Whitebrook. It's clear that they're all walking on eggshells, desperate to maintain a semblance of calm so Ashleigh won't flip out and do something they'll all regret. Whatever that may be.

So Christina visits Star at Townsend Acres and Brad is being all upbeat about his championship potential, calling him their next champion and next Derby winner and next Triple Crown winner and seriously, Brad, like whoa. You can bring down the cheerfulness just a little because you're wasting it on Christina, who is determined to be sullen about everything. Brad informs her that they are going to start backing Star and Christina immediately has a hissy fit right there about how it is ONLY SPRING. Holy hell. So she brings it up to everyone who is anyone and everyone agrees that Brad is awesome and Christina should shut up already. Okay, they obviously didn't say Brad was awesome. I said that. Because it's true. And Christina should shut up already. But Christina is not to be deterred, because she is a main character in a horse story, and we know their MO by now. She and Melanie go to Townsend Acres to check in on Star and nothing is well. In fact, everything predictably sucks. Townsend Acres is too perfect. Too clean. Too successful. Too heavenly. Clearly it must be spoiled and rotten inside the, um, hearts of all their employees and whatever, because Star is being abused. Of course. Here we go again, kids. Let's strap ourselves in, for this is going to be a wild ride.

So Christina pitches another fit and Mr. Dunkirk, Brad's trainer who is fat and good at his job but not good, if you get my meaning, is no help and Christina threatens that she's going to be back! With her parents! Later today! And, seriously, Christina, you don't say that. This gives them a chance to prepare. Any moron with a slightly functional brain would know to keep their mouth shut. Clearly Christina is challenged in this area. So she comes back with her parents and clearly the horse is just dandy, but clearly only Christina can pick up on Star's not being totally dandy. Personally, I got a huge kick out of this section because they arrive during some random party Brad is throwing at the main residence and this is what he has to say:

Coming up beside Christina, he put his arm around her shoulder. "What do you think? Are we taking good care of your baby?"

Since he's been drinking what appears to be a lot of champagne, I can only conclude that Brad is smashed. That would really be the only way to explain this behavior.

Anyway, Mike and Ashleigh determine that Star is just fine. Christina does not accept this, and it takes Parker to explain to her that she's babied Star and he expects sweetness and light and doesn't really understand that life is not a boatload of rose petals all the time. Christina determines that it's all her fault. And, yeah, it might be Nana the goat's fault. God, Nana just won't go away. Parker then tells Christina that she should get a job at Townsend Acres as a groom and then he invites her on a private picnic, where they dash around on their horses and have this wonderful exchange that finally won me over a little more on the subject of Christina/Parker:

Christina: "That sounds like a date."
Parker: "So? Are you afraid of a date, Reese?"
Christina: "No way." *dashes off on some race thing*

And YES, I totally like this because he calls her Reese. Shut up. Parker then kills the mood by screaming whoowee, and then Christina totally does chicken out on the date and kills Parker's confidence, resulting in lots of confusion and annoying attempts to avoid each other.

Christina then becomes a groom at Townsend Acres, getting the grand tour by none other than Brad himself as he carts Christina around in a truck while completely winning her over on the grand majesty of the farm. This results in this conversation:

Brad: "Why are you so interested in working with Star? Whitebrook has a lot of nice colts and fillies. Besides, I thought you and Parker were only interested in that eventing business."
Chris: "We are. But Star's special When Wonder died, my mom was so upset, she wanted nothing to do with him. I took over and kind of became his mom. I'm sure that sounds silly to a professional horseman like you."
Brad: "No. It sounds like someone we both know very well. She was younger than you when she fell in love with Wonder, but she was just as obsessed."
Chris: "My mom, right?"
Brad: "Right. I never had any idea what she saw in that crippled foal. I was pretty certain Wonder wouldn't amount to anything, and boy, was I wrong."

But just wait for it. Waiiiit...

Brad: "Wonder's Star is going to be Townsend Acres' next champion. And no one is going to mess with that, especially not you."
Chris: "Wh-what do you mean?"

See, Alice can't get it straight with Brad. Nice, nice, nice...oops, too nice, let's swing all the way to evil! Brad isn't a psychopath, Alice. Please. Anyway, Christina learns all the military rules that Brad has suddenly decided to employ with Townsend Acres and Parker keeps delivering these ominous declarations of "he knows what you're doing all the time, Christina. he's watching you. he knows. he knows." Like, at this point I wouldn't be at all shocked if Christina woke up at night to find Brad sitting in the corner of her room, casually keeping tabs of her every movement and recording it all in a notebook entitled "Surveillance on the daughter of my arch nemesis/potential one time love interest."

Anyway, so it becomes very apparent that Brad knows, you guys. He knows everything. He knows without even having a person there to witness things that may be going on. He is clearly a demi-god, or he's got some special super powers that I can't even begin to seriously ponder. And Christina has fallen under this spell, much to Parker's shock.

Christina: Maybe you never gave Townsend Acres a chance.
Parker: I should have known.
Christina: Known what?
Parker: That you'd get sucked into my father's web.

The web of Brad! God, sign me up.

So Christina is all pissed about this, so she goes and long lines Star or whatever and almost gets trampled before Matt, random groom who is sweet and 18, comes in to sort of help her not get trampled. And Matt is cute. And adorable. And sweet. And Christina totally thinks he's cute, and then he takes her home on his motorcycle. And right here, right where she's clinging to his waist as he motorcycles her home, I started laughing. I didn't stop laughing for a while. Meanwhile, Melanie's all "Chris, you're dense." And Chris is all "Huh?" And Melanie smacks her head against a wall, or does the equivalent of this, probably, in private, and tells Christina that Parker is in love with her and she's motorcycling around with Matt, which Brad knows about because he knows everything? (Why does he care about this, is the grand question.) Christina, well, she just doesn't know. Then she does this Meadowbrook event with Sterling, but that sucks because she's not focusing on it and then Matt motorcycles out of nowhere to tell Christina that Brad is backing Star! Like, now! So Christina drops everything and Matt takes her back to the farm and she grabs his waist again and again I just die laughing.

Then the obvious happens. Brad is evil and is backing Star, but Christina demands that she help, resulting in Star flipping over and crushing the rider. Brad gets pissed at Christina for not controlling the horse...really it's just about everyone's fault at this point...and orders Parker off the farm when he comes to her defense. Then he orders Chris off the farm. Then Parker leaves in a huff, takes Christina with him and they drive back to Whitebrook and then back to the event, all the while having this "intense" (this is my "air quote" word for this conversation, not theirs, although I'm sure it totally would have been) talk about how much they like each other and then they start making out on the side of the road because it's so intense and their lives are so dramatic and Brad probably can see all of this happening in his super enhanced brain and is probably seething over it. Anyway, they get to the event after deciding to stop making out in the truck and Christina tells Ashleigh all about it and Mike tries to jump in to shield Ashleigh from the horror of having to deal with reality, but she stops him and they go off and save Star from Brad's handsome, long, wonderful fingers...yeah, I'm getting side tracked.

Okay, what really happened was Christina finds Star randomly still tied up with long lines or something, to the point that his nose is practically tied to his chest, something I really don't see happening at all, given that Brad sees and knows all and he's an amazing trainer given everyone's testimony and his singlehanded training job with March to Glory. I mean, seriously. So Christina cuts the lines and frees Star and Brad knows and shows up to defend himself or something and threaten her. Then Ashleigh comes in and everyone sort of goes still. At least I did. Brad and Ashleigh are interacting! My inner fangirl squees despite Parker over there being a downer with his "if you keep Star here you'll break his spirit, just like you did mine." And, you know, please. So Brad's getting it from all sides and he eventually just turns to Ashleigh and says, "She's your daughter, all right," which I find very weird. Like...what? Am I supposed to be reading into that as much as I did? So he also puts some conditions on giving Star back to Ashleigh. Like Star has to be phenomenal and win at least one of his first two races. Phenomenally. Or he's coming back to Townsend Acres. Ashleigh agrees. They pack up Star and go home to special Whitebrook to proceed with their training regimen of specialness.

• He was always polite to Christina, but whenever she saw him, she had a hard time being cordial in return. No freakin' kidding, Chris. Your overreaction to Brad being nice is legendary at this point.
  

• "Hmpf." Okay, Brad does not, under any circumstances, hmpf.

• On Brad and Wonder: "Didn't he try to make her lose one of her races on purpose?" Uh, no?

• On Ashleigh and Wonder: "I just remember what happened to Wonder when we pushed her too hard in training." Which was when?

• On Christina and Parker: She didn't know why one hug was making her feel so flustered. Chris, sweetie, you're fifteen. He's seventeen. If someone walked up and smacked her on the back of the head right now, it would be justified.

• On Christina and Brad: Would she have to call Brad "sir"? More important, would she have to do everything he told her to do? Oh, man, my brain went to a really bad place at this point. I am so ashamed.

• Christina has kissed many boys before Parker? What? Who are these many boys besides Dylan?
  

• Star rears and Brad immediately moves to shield his face. I couldn't help but think, "No! Not his beautiful face!" Yeah, I'm either pathetic or just that amused.

You know, I actually enjoyed this far more than I should have. Not because it was good, but mainly because it was just so damn funny. In fact, if all of the books could have been like this one, I wouldn't have complained. Or maybe it's just late and I'm in a ridiculously good mood for no reason. Maybe it's just that.

...

Maybe.

In which Thoroughbred returns to racing, and seems to enjoy random violence.

Cassidy's Secret
by Allison Estes
Thoroughbred #32
Published: 1999

Man, this book is something else. Really, I had no idea all those horrible, completely absurd fan fics over at whitebrookfarm.com actually could be considered based on canon. How wrong I was.

God, I was so right. The most we see of snow in Cassidy's Secret is a really mundane conversation about how it might be a mild winter considering they're currently experiencing an Indian summer. Where this snowy cover comes from...anyone's guess. Actually, I don't understand how this cover applies to anything in the book at all. The girl...clearly Cassidy. The guy...who knows? The horses? Who knows. The western saddles? Who knows? It's essentially one big what the hell?

Will Cassidy tell the truth, even if it means losing her horse?

Cassidy Smith is worried. Her filly, Lady T, is running against a champion racehorse, Pizzazz. Cassidy's family needs the prize money desperately. Without it, they can't afford to keep Lady T.

Then Cassidy discovers that Pizzazz has been injured -- and his owner is planning to run him anyway. If Pizzazz runs on his bad leg, he could be ruined forever! Cassidy knows she should tell her dad to stop the race. But then the Smith's won't win the money they need -- and they'll have to sell Lady T for sure. How can Cassidy protect Pizzazz without losing her beloved filly?

Wow, where do I begin? I have so many questions, first of all. Like, the editors are now forcing racing back into the fold, but instead of taking the obvious path with Melanie they decide to shuffle off this task onto Cassidy. What kind of crazy sense does that make? On top of that, who the hell really cares about Cassidy? I certainly don't care. That said, Cassidy's got a lot of issues. Let me show you them.

First of all, her dad sucks. We've got to slam some backstory into this book to make all of this even remotely plausible, so Cassidy takes care of that in the first few chapters. Essentially, she moved to Kentucky because her father's owners (her dad used to be a wildly successful thoroughbred trainer, and the Kentucky Derby was name dropped a few times, so we know it's an unrealistic sort of successful) went crazy and killed their own horses. I don't remember why, exactly, but they wanted ultimately to claim the insurance and tried to burn down Cassidy's father's stables. Let me tell you now how stupid this evil plot is: a) it was a localized fire right where the targeted horses were, b) the fire didn't even do any damage and c) the owners poisoned the horses also just in case that fire thing didn't turn out. So, they didn't get their insurance money anyway and Cassidy's dad wound up slapped with a six month suspension because someone has to take blame. And the thing is, this isn't even the stupidest plot in this book. No, it gets better.

So, Cassidy is all with the inner turmoil over having to tell her friends this, especially when she has to add on the fact that her parents are now in a financial crisis. Hey, you know, perhaps they shouldn't have moved from Miami in the first place. You know? But this is further improbable considering they own this Lady T horse and he was a wildly successful trainer, so six months shouldn't matter unless they are the stupidest people on earth. Apparently they are extremely stupid, and they also moved on top of it. So they're stupid.

Anyway, Cassidy tells everyone that Lady T is running in the Ruffian Handicap and she wants to see the race live, so they all go to Whitebrook to watch the race. Lady T wins, but the purse is so teeny tiny it doesn't mean much (like, what?). Ashleigh takes some time out to tell them all this absolutely ridiculous story about when she and Brad went to Gulfstream together. (I am envisioning so many fan fic plots for this already that I will tell you now my mind went a little wild...it was good times.) Apparently he only got stalls for his horses, because he likes to see Ashleigh suffer and cry, and so Ashleigh cried and felt sorry for herself until Cassidy's dad showed up and let her use some of his stalls. Seriously, Ashleigh, grow a backbone already. All she had to do was go throw her weight around with admin...it's not like they would have refused her space, for Christ's sake. So, anyway, thus we are reminded how awesome Brad is and I guess Cassidy's dad is great because he's another one of those types that helps without being asked. God, they are so annoying. Then Ashleigh up and goes to the barn for a second...ooh, mysterious. She comes back after Cassidy tells everyone her sob story about how she's really poor and no one really believes her. That's good because I don't either. She's got two classy eventers, competes in these high class shows, and she's not rich? Then Ashleigh comes back with the sudden information that Lady T is coming to Whitebrook (yeah, no kidding) and so is Pizzazz (some other apparently important horse) and they're going to have a match race at Keeneland!

Sigh.

SO. Lady T and Pizzazz are at Whitebrook and Cassidy is all super obsessed with this. Also, apparently Lady T needs her very own armed PI/security official at all times. And I guess so does Pizzazz. I don't know where Allison gets this, but all of a sudden everyone's walking around with guns, and I appreciate this plot point just because it's so damn funny. Charlie is the guy that's guarding Lady T, and he strikes up some conversation with the kids and I guess this means he's the good guy. Pizzazz's owners are then, of course, bad guys. You know this immediately once the guns are brought into it. As it happens, Cassidy sees Pizzazz stumble in a work and after about an eternity of wondering why he stumbled (Cassidy, horses stumble every day...get over it) she starts sneaking around the barns and hears the horse's owners try to talk a vet into drugging the horse so he can run. The vet refuses. Cassidy is suspicious. Cassidy is suspicious some more. She enlists Christina and Melanie to help her figure out how to prove that Pizzazz is on something, and this results in some hilarity involving Cassidy sneaking into the horse's stall to poke at his legs. I am really not kidding. She discovers that Pizzazz's right knee is more or less dead to the world and decides to ring the alarm bells.

Only no one really cares besides Cassidy. So she eventually remembers the license plate of the vet who refused to treat Pizzazz (DRSFINE...yeah, I thought that was hilarious at first, too) and winds up calling information and actually gets this guy on the phone. He tells her Pizzazz has a bone chip and ohmigod he could die if he runs again. Or be seriously injured. Or something. Shocked and appalled, Cassidy tells her dad and he doesn't care. In fact, he wants to continue with the race because win or lose he'll still win upwards of 100 grand. Actually, he bribes her to keep quiet about it. I loved that part. Essentially: shut up or you'll lose your horses. Ha ha! Nice.

So the day of the race comes along and Cassidy, Melanie and Christina haunt the backside. They visit Pizzazz and see that he's being checked by the vet, who gives them an okay to run. But, like, how? He is totally not okay! (Like they x-ray horses before every race or something. Seriously, Cassidy, you can't tell a horse has a bone chip just by casually looking at it.) So they're wandering around and they see a groom lead Pizzazz into a trailer...and then out of it again. But, like, why? (This is all happening in the middle of the day on the backside during races, I might add.) So they start checking out the trailer and of course the evil groom catches them and pulls a gun on them and forces them inside the trailer. So, the stupidity is coming along at a rapid pace here. I guess the groom decides to lock them in the trailer and leave them there, like that won't come back and bite him on the ass or anything. Christina and Cassidy eventually shove Melanie through the skylight and she runs off for help. Charlie, the good guy with the gun, comes along and I guess he shoots the lock off and they run to take the ringer to the paddock so everyone can see that Pizzazz shouldn't run because like parading a horse that looks just like him will somehow communicate this effectively without having to say anything? Well, whatever. Charlie escorts them to the paddock, but then the evil groom and his evil friend come along and Charlie pulls his gun out and the evil groom guy goes for his gun and ohmigod Christina saves the day by throwing herself at the evil guy with the gun so Cassidy can further save the day by dragging the ringer to the paddock where everyone collectively gasps and seems to realize immediately what has happened.

Then we're treated to this movie moment between Cassidy and her dad. Reporters cluster around them, but neither speak, the situation too pressing and heavy for words, apparently, as two perfect tears drip from Cassidy's perfect eyes. Her dad continues to not speak. The movie music swells and then he says, "There will be no match race. You did the right thing, Cassidy." And then they walk off into the sunset. Cassidy has, I guess, lost everything and her family is screwed, but Pizzazz is safe because she did the Right Thing.

• You know what annoys me? When people have more than one child and then grace them with names starting with the same letter. Cassidy has two brothers: Carter and Campbell. It's like their mother always wanted a set of living dolls when she grew up.

• We've got some changes to report: Cassidy's horse, Wellington, went from gray to chestnut, and Ashleigh's hair suddenly became curly. I'm having flashbacks of the poodle hair Caroline inflicted upon her back during Wonder's Promise. Those weren't good times.

• Brad is mentioned specifically for the first time in ages. I don't even care that his name is brought up in the midst of some completely random and totally incomprehensible story Ashleigh's telling Cassidy about her stupid father...Brad is mentioned! And he's busy being a self-centered jerk in Ashleigh's memories. Oh, sweet, sweet memories.

• Also, you know: That was back in the days when I was still in business with Clay Townsend and his son, Brad. You know, considering Ashleigh (probably? probably definitely) still owns Wonder's Pride, Townsend Princess, Honor Bright, and Mr. Wonderful plus whatever other foals Princess and Honor have produced I think that sorta kinda almost definitely means she's still in business with them. Not to even mention Wonder is still alive at this point and still needs to give us Star in all his ethereal light.

• Cassidy's stupid horse, Lady T, runs in the Ruffian Handicap. Now, I'm not going to waste my time figuring out the purse of this race in 1999, but today it's a Grade I race with a purse of $300,000. What does Allison Estes want us to believe? That it's a $20,000 race, and at most Cassidy's dad, as the horse's owner, will see about $5,000 of that money. Like I said, I don't know what was going on in 1999, but considering the race has been around since 1976 I am DAMN SURE it wasn't being run at $20,000 only nine years ago. Clearly Allison has no clue when it comes down to the money involved in Grade I races, especially considering she just made this big deal over Lady T winning the Filly Triple Crown. No clue at all. Just sayin'.

• You know...it's not the 1930s anymore. The last match race was in 2003 and it was a battle of the sexes between jockeys, so I find this whole reconstructing the Ruffian/Foolish Pleasure disaster of 1975 both in poor taste and remarkably dated.

• What is a guy with a gun doing at Whitebrook? Really.

• Apparently they are driving this Pizzazz horse from California to Whitebrook? Has the trainer of the biggest horse on the West Coast not heard of air travel?

• Exactly how long has Pizzazz been running around with a bone chip? Shouldn't this have been removed months before now?

• Wow, is everyone carrying concealed weapons in Thoroughbred these days?

• "Now what makes you think you can order me around?" Jerry said, one hand behind his back. "This," Charlie said drawing his gun. Okay, this is good, but just wait...
  

• Charlie stepped back just as Jerry lunged for him. But to Cassidy's surprise, Christina jumped forward and tackled Jerry. That's right, guys, Christina just tackled a man armed with a gun to the ground. Didn't see that coming, did you?

Needless to say, this was hilarious. I loved it for it's ridiculousness. Although, I could just be giddy because Brad is back in the next book. I've gone far too long without his awesomeness.