Jan 16, 2009

Wildfire: "Boys do things."

1.12: Impressions

This episode felt like filler to me, bridging the gap to the end of the season. Wonder (Wildfire) is getting ready for this big stakes race called the Sand Piper, in which she will meet Townsend Prince (Avatar), Clay Townsend's (Ken Davis) big horse from the pilot. Cindy (Tina Sharp) is still incredibly annoying and bordering on nymphomania, Ashleigh (Kris) is growing increasingly bitter over Cindy's presence, Mike (Matt) can't decide if he wants to be more stupid or less stupid, Dani (Dani) is still singlemindedly hunting down her mother, and Brad (Junior) continues to be awesome.

So, the episode starts up with Cindy hauling a television crew up to Whitebrook Farm (Raintree) so she can show them Wonder and prance around in one of those sateen tank tops, because those are so functional when working around horses. At one point, she also sports a pointless scarf. Ashleigh is not amused, nor is Ian (Pablo). Cindy points out that the television crew is there to spotlight Wonder and Whitebrook for "Horse Racing TV" and everyone grudgingly goes along with this, looking far from enthused by the publicity. If you think that this is going to be a quick shoot, you are so wrong. These people are there for days. Or what seems like days, but probably they are there for days. And Cindy is acting way too perky for everyone and the only person who seems to enjoy it is Mike, because I guess they've been having sex in abandoned basketball courts at night. Or day. You don't know.

Anyway, Todd, Mike's little brother, is back from somewhere, and has been declared fit for strenuous activity because I suppose he had a heart issue when he was a baby. He wants to learn how to ride, and Jean is immediately "the hell? absolutely not!" But because Mike is there, he teaches Todd how to ride anyway. And by teach I mean sort of puts him up there and watches him plod around while declaring "Great! You're a natural!" Face, meet palm. Jean appears soon after and has a complete meltdown, declaring that if Todd is going to ride he is going to wear a better helmet, wear goggles, wear Kevlar...and when Mike breaks in to be shockingly logical about how crazy she's being, Jean is all "does it look like I care about your opinion?!" I only discuss this because Todd winds up being important later. Weirdly enough.

Meanwhile, Brad invites Ashleigh to eat dinner with him, Dani, and his dad, who has appeared for the first time in a while. Ashleigh is at first hesitant, because she can probably see the family dysfunction she's going to have to put up with later, but after Brad appeals to her about how he wants her to be comfortable in his home, they make out more and she accepts. Then she has to go tell Todd how awesome he is because Todd has whipped up a website called wonderrocks.com. Then she makes the silly comment that the only thing more awesome than the website is riding Wonder. Oh, how you know that's going to bite her on the ass.

At the dinner with Brad's family, Clay grills Ashleigh about Wonder while Brad looks at him like he's grown a second head and Dani keeps tapping her knife against her plate until she beats it against the table and starts to scream about her mother, because she apparently can't handle more than one plot point at a time. Then she rushes off, leaving everyone wondering what the hell her problem is. Later she starts to call people frantically, and finally lands someone who she thinks might be her mom. Only to be hung up on. Oh, poor Dani. She's acting out Are You My Mommy? without even realizing it.

Then you have Mike and Cindy over there. Mike is trying to get Cindy to be less sex-crazed and settle for his romantic overtures. Cindy ain't going to settle for this. You know she just wants to have sex in a parking lot somewhere, so that he's wasting his roses and his champagne on her is really very like him. Eventually he tells her that he loves her, and she swats that down pretty quickly. Soon after he finds himself at Bobby's, and Bobby is gambling. Mike, meet your slippery slope.

Then Todd, because he's a boy, and apparently "boys do things" (according to Ian, which is hilarious to me because he's also the same guy who was all "you're wearing a skirt! omg you are so getting raped!"), he dresses up exactly as Jean wants and decides to ride Wonder. His foot slips out of the stirrup (which is how everyone falls in this series) and because he's not a natural at riding he jerks the reins back. Wonder rears and he falls. He winds up in critical condition at the hospital and no one can get ahold of Mike because he's gambling with Bobby. Good going, Mike.

And we are left with Todd in the hospital and shell shocked expressions on everyone's faces. Well, not for Ian, because he doesn't know how to do anything other than stare blankly or be moody.

That is the end of my disc. Look out for more posts over the weekend, as it's too cold to do anything and I have a pile of horse books waiting for me.


Jessica Burkhart said...

I really, really need to watch that show. :)

Mara said...

You really, really do. It's fantastic from a fairly silly standpoint.