Mar 29, 2010

Wildfire: Vows & Vegas

Wildfire
4.9: Vows

(Reminder: I exchange Wildfire characters for Thoroughbred characters. Why? Because it is easy, and it is amusing, and I will forever maintain that someone behind this show read at least one of the early Thoroughbred books. Also, it's all on Hulu. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself!)

The Good:

+ While Brad and Ashleigh are headed to Vegas via silver Porsche, he lets her know that he got Lavinia's dad to stop being such a prick. Ashleigh now has her jockey's license back, allowing for celebratory making out while driving. I see here in my notes that I wrote +1,000, so I suppose that is the number I'm going with. +1,000!

+ We follow this up with Brad and Ashleigh waiting in line in front of one of those quickie wedding chapels, which looks way too nice to exist in Las Vegas. (Due to the greenery, and lack of sheer awful.) They must have picked out the nicest quickie wedding chapel in the world. And they're all nervous and adorable and then Jean has to go ruin things by getting run over by a horse. Why, Jean? Why do you do this to me? I was so close to closure, and you had to go rip it away. +2 for cuteness, I guess.

+ Here is an episode with such a Thoroughbred plot, I dare anyone question the similarities. Jean gets run over by a high strung horse, so Ashleigh decides to "encourage, not criticize" the horse in its next work because everyone is so critical and demanding all the time. Love and support will work wonders, surely. And then Mike storms up and basically says he doesn't want to see that horse ever again because of what it did to Jean. It must be sold! Preferably in the next five seconds! Poor, poor Champion Nikiya, or whatever. +10 for amusing me.

+ Noah is back, because I guess he was somewhere doing something, and I feel that a break did wonders for our relationship. I don't know how or why he's now in a relationship with Dani, but I am surprisingly not horrified by this development. I am tentatively giving Noah a point. +1

+ The misty scene where Ashleigh is grazing Wonder on one side of the fence, and Brad drives up in his Porsche on the other side of the fence and she informs him that everyone else can go right to hell because she is not letting them formulate her opinions of him for her anymore? Notes say +1,000. And it is so deserved. +1,000! Also, an added +20 for being ridiculously pretty.

The Good: 2,033

The Bad:

- "She's the great granddaughter of Affirmed." Seriously? Who dares question the similarities to Thoroughbred, now? -5, just because I hate hearing how horses are the great grand anything to anyone.

- Are we still going to do this love triangle thing? Really? Well, I guess I'm not surprised, Mike. -100

- Spring! For a half-second! -.5

- Can we all step back for a second and realize that it is insane to encourage two people to get together and then freak out about it after they've actually done the getting together? Ian, you can't tell Brad to man up and tell Ashleigh how he feels, and then tell him he shouldn't have done that a day later when your encouragement results in Brad/Ashleigh. This relationship appears to break everyone's brains. -50

The Bad: 155.5

2,033-155.5=1,877.5

The More Things Change (1): 22
The More Things Change (2): 1
Calm: 12
Flames: 25
The Friend: 32
Friendship/Passion: 39.5
Commitment Issues: 14.5
Life's Too Short: 4,969
Vows: 1,877.5

1 comment:

Emma said...

+5000 points for sticking it out with "Wildfire". Your reviews for this show are awesome!