Mar 30, 2010

Wildfire: The Comeback...to mediocrity

Wildfire
4.10: The Comeback

(Reminder: I exchange Wildfire characters for Thoroughbred characters. Why? Because it is easy, and it is amusing, and I will forever maintain that someone behind this show read at least one of the early Thoroughbred books. Also, it's all on Hulu. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself!)

The Good:

+ I am tentatively giving this episode points for more Townsend father/daughter bonding, even though that bonding may be motivated by sheer evil. Dani is going to run her filly against Clay's colt against Whitebrook's Wonder's Pride in some race I've forgotten the name of, and it is all very...uncomfortable. Mainly because of Noah, but we'll get to him in a minute. I give the bonding a point, despite the implication that it may be evil. +1

+ So, where does Brad want to go to get married? FIJI. And where do Brad and Ashleigh go to have sex after this announcement? A STALL. (I assume! Shut up.) Notes say +1,250. (My points are all over the place! I never thought I'd give that many points for stall sex, but I guess there's always a first time.)

+ Brad rides a horse! Really, he should do that more often. +5

+ Mike is a tracker again, because I guess someone remembered that he did that in season one. The only difference is that in season one he was motivated to find a horse, and in season four he's trying to find a couple of lost kids and is really pissed off about it. His basic opinion is that they should let the kids rot in the wilderness, and at the very least he shouldn't have to be bothered helping in the rescue effort. Oh, Mike. You have hit rock bottom for me, and I didn't even like the kids in this episode. +2 for finally cementing my opinion of you.

+ Hey, look, they are actually using the same silks in multiple races this time. If only because they aren't actually showing the races. Once they show another race, the silks change and we get a silly story to explain why Ashleigh needs to change her silks. Thanks for trying, show. +1

+ Clay is evil. Again. I liked it better when he was a soccer mom, but this works too. +1

+ Whitebrook's great comeback involves winning one race. And losing five races. The only horse that won is the very horse Mike wanted to sell in the episode previous, which means I get to give this whole scenario a point for the sake of irony. +1

The Good: 1,261

The Bad:

- There are children in this episode. Petulant, annoying children. And they shriek, and complain, and their outfits consist of primary colors and the most godawful red cowboy hats. I can almost see why Mike wanted to let the two brats who stole their horses and rode off into the wilderness die. -200

- Noah. Look, I get that you're concerned because Racing!Dani is a horrible person and Vet!Dani is so stable and likable. I, too, am concerned about this because I was really liking Vet!Dani and I thought she was over this whole Racing!Dani persona. But attacking her relationship with her father is probably not the way to go about making sure Racing!Dani doesn't make a comeback. (Also, what do you care? You haven't even met Racing!Dani.) -100

- Mike, contrary to your opinion, Ashleigh never actually lived with you. To say such a thing would imply that you had some arrangement where you "lived together" which is so not the case. -50 Also--no, not Brad's beautiful face! -100 Mike, stop trying to drown Brad in the river and act like a freaking adult. You so suck as a character. If I had created you I would have been ashamed. And then I would have killed you off. Maybe you could have been shipwrecked on an island and forced to live in solitude for the rest of your life. Yes, that would have been perfect. -350

The Bad: -800

1261-800=461

The More Things Change (1): 22
The More Things Change (2): 1
Calm: 12
Flames: 25
The Friend: 32
Friendship/Passion: 39.5
Commitment Issues: 14.5
Life's Too Short: 4,969
Vows: 1,877.5
The Comeback: 461

(I realize my point system has become a skewed mockery of the totally asinine point system I had previously, but according to this it looks like sex in a stall saved this episode from totally pissing me off to no end. I think I am okay with that.)

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