A mystery that holds my attention.

Gargantuan
A Ruby Murphy Mystery
by Maggie Estep

Maggie Estep’s critically praised heroine, Ruby Murphy, is back! Back in Coney Island with a bunch of endearing misfits, back at the racetrack ogling thoroughbreds, and back learning that, on the seamy side of the sport of kings, survival can be a long shot.

Ruby’s life is nothing if not complicated: she’s spending a lot of her time worrying about a jockey named Attila Johnson; a good-hearted Teamster with a bad back; a neighbor who is suspicious of anything that moves; one very fat cat who craves raw meat; a missing FBI agent; an underused piano; a few fine horses—and the sure knowledge that somehow, somewhere, there is a killer among them.

It's been a while since I read this one, but what the hell.

The thing I like about these books is the single fact that they do show the seamy side of horse racing perfectly. You don't see the glitz and glamour in these books at all, which is a little refreshing and therefore odd in itself because probably 95% of horse racing is anti-glitz. So it's not the mystery or power hungry elite that drive these stories so much as the weirdness of all the everyman characters whether or not they're sitting alone in their apartments or interacting with others. They're quirky. In a cute and/or insane way.

From what I remember of the mystery, it involves a crazed animal lover. That's really all I'll say, because when "crazed animal lover" comes up, it's probably best that you just read it and find out for yourself.

Oh, and interestingly Jane Smiley's Justa Bob from Horse Heaven shows up.

Now I'm wondering if I should attempt Horse Heaven again.

Yeah, probably not.

Wildfire: Another tv show breaks my heart.

Wildfire
3.9 Heartless

I really did not think I was going to handle this episode, and I am proud to announce that I did not cry! I just teared up a little, kind of.

+ "It's not you, it's me." Mike tells Samantha it's over, and Samantha tags his shoddy excuse for what it is: he has a thing for Ashleigh. Nicely done, Samantha! I like her ability to move through this episode gracefully while at the same time making everyone uncomfortable. (+3)

+ Okay, I kind of squeaked happily when RJ appeared in the recap for this episode. And then I did exactly what Dani did upon seeing him in this episode...which was more squeaking and happy hand clapping. If I could have launched myself at him, I probably would have. I am not ashamed. (+10)

+ Points for all RJ scenes! (+5) Now I will double it just because I can! (+5)

+ Fresh from her making Mike feel like shit speech, Samantha moves on to Ashleigh and makes her feel like shit. All while still maintaining her "I am awesome, look how awesome I am" vibe. Oh, I really like you, Sammy. (+3)

+ The love conversation pops up a little out of nowhere with RJ and Dani, but I love it since Dani gets awkward because she's said these words to people like Mike, but clearly they didn't mean as much as when she'll say the same thing to RJ, and RJ is still so damn awesome. (+4)

+ It's the RJ and Brad Hug of Manliness! (+1)

+ I'm actually liking the Ian and Ashleigh scenes in this episode. It's like they actually had a relationship that the show bothered building and nurturing and showing us...somewhere along the way there. (+2)

+ Okay, I kind of teared up when Brad rode the same bull as RJ, and went longer than eight seconds out of respect for his friend. This, of course, is nowhere near my reaction to Dani's heartbreak after RJ, because she's killing me with her stoic, empty staring. (+8)

+ Ian becomes the Townsend Acres trainer. I respect this move, and sure it might make little sense (I'm sure he'll be "just an employee" there, too) but where else was he going to go? (+1)

Good: 42

- It's time for another "I don't know what I want!" moment from Ashleigh. Why am I not shocked at Mike is predictably shocked by this? (-1)

- Then Ashleigh pushes Mike away because she comes up with some convenient excuse about Whitebrook being important, and then she decides that yes, they should really go for it because she "wants him" and I can only really deduct one point because I was sort of distracted by OTHER MAJOR THINGS that made the Ashleigh/Mike Hook Up Of Doom less important. (-1)

- I cannot forgive this show for the RJ thing, and how the RJ thing was handled. I just can't and I won't. Of course, it's natural for a show in its third year to do something like randomly killing off the only good character who was breaking up the monotony of every episode, and for this I would deduct major points, but I just don't have it in me. Instead I am just going to make a note of my disgust here, and call it a day.

The Bad: 2

42 - 2 = 40

1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
7. Push Me/Pull You: -20
8. The Goodbye: -3
9. Heartless: 40

Now, in the back of my mind, RJ is actually in a coma somewhere. He'll wake up after season four, reclaim his hat, and everything will be okay. It will! In the meantime, I'm going to go suffer through the rest of these Wildfire episodes where everyone is under the delusion that he is dead. Silly people. He's just in a coma!

Wildfire: "I don't know what this thing is!"

Wildfire
3.8: The Goodbye

+ I do grudgingly give Mike two points (+2) for seriously considering selling Wonder in the face of Ashleigh's crazy shrieking. It must be hard to remain composed when you're dealing with "a girl with a horse" and for that I commend him.

+ Suddenly we all remember that Ian owns half of Wonder. This deserves a point (+1), although Ian's passive aggressive attitude about how no one remembers this almost cancels the positive here.

+ Ash comes clean to Omar when it becomes obvious that he wants to buy Wonder, and he calls her "a girl with a horse" who will do anything to keep the horse at Whitebrook, and calls her out as a liar. This might not be true, and his insistence that he knows racehorses might be a little shaky, and this whole sequence might have really annoyed me, but I am going to get over all of this because at least Ashleigh admits her nefariousness to one other person besides Mike. (+1)

+ Brad had an attachment to his nanny. This is so Thoroughbred series! (+2)

+ Congrats, Wildfire, for producing the weirdest scene in television involving the word "thing" that does not appear to apply to anything...and then having the characters degenerate into maybe/maybe not hate kissing. I did not get this at all, but it amused me. (+4)

+ Brad and Samantha dance way better than anyone else has ever danced on this show, and Mike and Ashleigh immediately pick up on this by acting all silently jealous on the sidelines. I am awarding this five points (+5) because I like it when Brad and Samantha have fun at the expense of Mike and Ashleigh, and I also like when Mike and Ashleigh get insanely jealous over things they really should have gotten over by now.

Good: 15 (I know, I was really not thrilled with this episode.)

- Ashleigh is asking A LOT when she tells Ian he can buy out Whitebrook's share in Wonder. Because Ian doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who can handle borrowing $200,000 in order to purchase a sterile racehorse who may or may not be any good. Way to go on sending Ian down a road he shouldn't be on, Ash. -1

- There's an implication here that Ashleigh and Mike had maybe/maybe not hate sex. When I say "maybe/maybe not hate sex" I mean that they seemed to reach a lull in a heated debate over a vague subject, and decided to fill the void with kissing and zipper fondling. I am going to pretend Mike got his hands stuck in Ashleigh's hoodie and gave up any further attempts at clothing removal. (-1)

- Ashleigh's ruffle outfit and side ponytail can only deduct another point from this episode. (-1)

- This whole choosing family over various love affairs thing continues to irk me. Naturally I agree with choosing family, but I don't get how this continues to even be an issue with Brad and Ashleigh. I totally get Mike deciding to sell Wonder for the good of his family's farm over his stupid thing for Ashleigh, and I love that Brad called Ashleigh's juvenile response as the stupidity it is, but I am still confused! (-3)

- Oh, Mike, don't try to tell me you ever had your life together and went by your gut. Your life has been a constant, muddled state of privileged whining. (-2)

- Wow, the silks this time around are ugly. And actually say "Whitebrook Farm" on the back. Minus one point (-1) for not even attempting to try.

- Wonder wins the Gold Cup. I so wanted her to lose. (-5)

- Ashleigh is almost totally clean after the race, despite having come from behind to win. I laugh at your attempts to muddy her face, show. (-1)

- Ian leaves Whitebrook after pouting and acting distant after Whitebrook refuses to take his offer for Wonder seriously. And he says he leaves because he's "just an employee." Oh, Ian, does someone feel left out? Perhaps Jean should have invited you to live above her garage? (-3)

The Bad: 18

15 - 18 = -3

1. Fairy Tale Endings: 16
2. The Feud: 4
3. Moving On: 10
4. Close to Home: 42
5. Love vs. Work: 20
6. Kiss Kiss: 16
7. Push Me/Pull You: -20
8. The Goodbye: -3

This episode benefitted greatly by my decision to not deduct points because RJ wasn't in it. I am being very kind right now, actually. Very, very kind considering all the Mike/Ashleigh that is leaving me feeling dirty and used.

Fiction Competition!

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Help me spend money!

Okay, you guys, I have a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com. As most of us know by now, I don't buy horse books. I prefer it when they miraculously show up on my doorstep with little to no work done on my part. However, I will spend my gift certificate. I open the floor to horse book suggestions! If my massive public library system doesn't have your suggestion, I'll buy the book. And then I'll donate it to the library, or do a giveaway, or something equally awesome.

The Medicine Hat Stallion, or Leif Garrett's pigtail phase.

Peter Lundy and the Medicine Hat Stallion
1977

I was never a huge fan of Marguerite Henry's books, so I haven't read San Domingo: The Medicine Hat Stallion and can't make any comparisons between the book and the movie, staring teen heartthrob Leif Garrett.

This movie had me for the first thirty minutes. It had a strange androgynous boy who is torn between varying hair styles, an alpha father figure who cannot show love, a mother who makes perfect wool shirts that look suspiciously machine made and store bought, and an Indian pony. What more do I want out of Westerns aimed primarily at children?

Well, they could have cut the singing. That would have been a helpful start. Once Peter falls off the house and breaks a few ribs (alpha father rolls his eyes), a kindly random singing person shows up with a hoard of various animals and serves as the father figure Peter's never going to get. And I totally tuned out. At some point, William Cody shows up and Peter gets involved in the Pony Express, and Domingo is traded for a Thoroughbred, and Peter puts the kiddie toys away, and his dad eventually gives him a shaving kit, and all is well!

That is pretty much what I took away from this movie. It was like Little House on the Prairie, to a certain extent. Just without the running through flowers and family bonding.

• At one point, Peter's father arrives home "two days early" and speaks in metaphor for an entire dinner conversation. Hey, Jethro, you could have just said plainly that you killed a man and took his horse because you've had this poisonous mindset bent on revenge. Peter's mom tries to make sense of this lunacy, but Peter just looks at his dad like he's totally lost it, which is exactly the case.

• Eventually, Peter's mom pulls him aside and tells him the story of why his father is adorably insane. Oh, what being mauled by a bear and left for dead by a stranger will do to a person.
  

• Peter's hair styles crack me up. At first, he's going for a ponytail and a headband, which I can live with. However, by the end of the movie he's decided to go with both a ponytail and pigtail braids. Do you know how hard it is to take a movie seriously when its main character is running around with a ponytail and pigtail braids?
  

Pine Hollow: Hand me that surf board, quick!

Pine Hollow #3
Reining In

Everything changes or nothing changes....

Will Lisa leave Virginia for sunny California? She's been there for most of the summer and she likes it. There's a lot less pressure on her, and she's working on a TV show loaded with good-looking guys, romance, and horses. What more could she want? Maybe she should stay....

Her boyfriend, Alex, worries that Lisa is spending too much time with a handsome movie star. Some girls might fall in love with someone like that, but Lisa wouldn't. Or would she? If only Alex could be sure. Carole and Stevie are Lisa's best friends and they want the best for her, but they don't want her to move away either. Is there anything they can do to persuade her to come home?

Three people's happiness is riding on one decision...will Lisa make the right one?

Allow me to repost a ten-year-old review on this book from Amazon:

TOO MUCH BOYS! TOO MUCH LOVEDOVEY JUNK! WHAT THE HECK WENT WRONG! I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE GIRLS! ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS BOYS, BOYS, BOYS! TOO MUCH OF IT! LESS OF HORSES, HORSES, HORSES!

Well, I guess someone was upset. Ignoring the hysteria here, this review does bring up a good point about Pine Hollow: the girls have grown up. They've moved past horse crazy stage, and are battling their raging hormones that have been begging to stampede around unchecked by things like morals or sense. I don't mind this at all, actually. In fact, I find it a little refreshing. However, because these stories straddle the line between YA and middle grade, and have the misfortune of using Saddle Club characters that younger kids and the more immature set of teens are attracted to...we get a lot of weird responses to the attempt to mix boys with the horse craziness. Hence...hysteria!

My opinion: grow up. You know how thrilled I would have been if the Thoroughbred series had embraced its teenage hormones like this? I would be giggling myself sick with joy! (Or maybe not, but that's hypothetical situations for you.) Anyway, moving on.

Reining In deals with a few issues, namely: Stevie's inability to live in the present (car wreck trauma, etc), Carole's complete inexperience (and frustration) with the opposite sex, and Lisa's upcoming decision about whether or not she's staying in California. Stevie is holding on by a thread, which is savagely snapped by the appearance of Veronica and her boy toy, Trent, who is basically a zombie without that nasty blood lust.

As it is with all middle grade books (I mean, stupidly immature YA books...um...damn you, Pine Hollow!), Veronica brings out the worst in our dashing and wonderful main characters, a la Brad Townsend as he stands nearby Ashleigh & Co., looking bored as they have a collective conniption fit over his presence. (Yes, I find the protagonist reaction to some antagonists ridiculously hilarious now. Thank you, Thoroughbred!) Veronica wants to ride with her boy toy, and Ben casually agrees to be her stable boy, tacking up the horses as Carole and Stevie are too busy reacting to her snobbery by acting as catty or insane as possible.

Seriously, horse story protagonists, your pure and supposedly justified reaction to your antagonists makes you look bad. Please read every middle grade horse book ever for further examples on this topic.

Anyway, Stevie has a mental break and runs off to relive her wreck...or something. This means that Stevie's parents are going to step in and send her and Carole to California for two weeks! (Alex immediately interjects that he misses Lisa too, and he wants to go too, and everyone laughs at him and he is so going to be a domestic abuser when he grows up.) So most of this book takes place in California, where Stevie irritatingly enough "looks after her brother's interests" and Carole succumbs to her hormones.

Lisa, irritated that they are both pressing her about coming home to Willow Creek, takes them and their shitty attitudes to the tv set where she works. There they are immediately pacified by horses and the beautiful boys that populate this show. There is completely idiotic talk about how the obviously nice boy, Matthew, must not be that nice because he plays the bad guy, which leaves Carole open to fall in love with the obviously bad guy, Jeremiah, who plays Skye Ransom's charismatic best friend. Seriously, you guys, who honestly believes that people who play villains must be inherently predisposed to be bad in real life? This makes no sense, Pine Hollow.

Carole is also scared to death of dying in an earthquake, so during a tremor she freaks and is saved by Jeremiah, who takes his chance to engage in inappropriate behavior. Skye breaks it up, like a sensible person. And Carole acts her age by wanting to tell everyone about it. But during a sightseeing session with Jeremiah, Stevie breaks up his attempt to devour Carole with his mouth, and he breaks things off with Carole because...friends who tag along are so irritating? Maybe?

Well, whatever. During this, Skye eventually admits to Lisa that he wants her to stay and is attracted to her now that she is seventeen. This is where I admit to becoming a little bit of a Skye/Lisa shipper, mainly because why not?

Anyway. Jeremiah insults Carole, probably delivers years and years of scarring in one sentence that is fairly impressive in an immature way, and Stevie grows bitter over her California experience. They are all phonies! And fakes! And everyone is stupid, with the stupid perfect weather and the stupid perfect greenery and such! But this is before Lisa decides to drag them all to a club, because I guess that's normal? Matthew, awesome guy from before, listens to Stevie's tirade against the state of California with as much grace as an awesome person can, and decides to take her to see the most awesome part of California that only awesome people know about. I don't know exactly where this is, but it involves the beach, a shirtless him, and surf boarding. Stevie is perplexed, as was I, but she gets over it, grabs a surf board, and decides to have fun.

Ultimately, Lisa decides to go back to Virginia -- back to her shallow, emotionally unresponsive mother, her controlling and emotionally needy boyfriend, and her irritating and judgmental friends. For the sake of the drama, I guess this is a good thing. For the sake of Lisa's sanity and my sudden and unrelenting Skye/Lisa obsession, obviously she ticked the "nothing changes" box and chose wrong.