Jun 15, 2008

Oh, crap! Another Image book! TB #52: Perfect Challenge

Ok, so I hated this book, so this review is going to be as short as possible.

The Cover

This is a scene that didn't happen in the book and that instantly annoys me. Plus, Image is ugly. And Melanie looks like she's about to platz in a major way. I really am not seeing the function of the seriously over-the-top breastplate. I cannot wait until I am past these covers that look like they've been drawn by 12 year-old fangirls. Moving along...

The Synopsis

Melanie Graham knows Image is Triple Crown material. The problem is, the filly is too smart for her own good. She's difficult to train, hates to be stabled indoors, and fights with other horses. But if Melanie is going to run Image in the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont, the filly is going to have to get over herself.

For practice, Melanie takes Image to Florida to run in an easy fillies-only race. But when Melanie gets to the track, she discovers that her father has entered Image in the prestigious Florida Derby instead. He badly needs the purse money to save his failing business and he truly believes Image can win. Melanie is doubtful. Will Image rise to the challenge?

Hey, at least this one is true. They had to get something right sometime, I suppose.

The Plot

Image: The stupid black filly is back! This time, 'Team Image' is in Florida, where Image was supposed to run in the Bonnie Miss. But, things ever go easily for the diva horse and she gets entered in the Florida derby instead, where she will have to run against colts... to make matters worse, Image first cannot stay at some farm they had arranged due to an outbreak in strangles. Then, she is such a bitch that she gets kicked out of her accomodation at the track. Having no choice, Mel et al decide to keep her at some random farm where Image befriends this pony, Baby. Baby quickly becomes more reason for her to act all anxious and throw tantrums. But, Mel trains her in a corn field, avoids nasty media attention and they eventually come second in the Florida Derby. Yeah, Image didn't win. Joy! At the end of this book, Will Graham sells out his share of Image to Jazz.

Melanie: Mel goes from doubt to non-doubt to doubt again so many times in this book, I finally understand how they made their page quota. At least Chris wasn't around for her to fight with. But, Alexis Huffman, the demon incarnate who used to manage Tall Oaks, is! It seems Alexis has nothing better to do with her time than make things hard for Mel and Image. So, she slanders the filly's name and spreads all sorts of runours, some of which are actually true, but anyway. Melanie gets all upset and blames Alexis for everything bad and wrong. She is also pissed at her father for entering Image in the Florida Derby but this is quickly forgotten becuase we ALL KNOW the silly filly can win the race against colts. Duh. Mel is also dealing with her feelings for Jazz, who is just so good looking, anyone with hormones falls at his feet. Jazz and Mel kiss... in what must be one of the more racy TB kisses in history... Mel decides to get over him being Image's full owner... 'cause they're really partners now. All is fine and Mel sets her hopes on Triple Crown glory.

Will: Well, his business isn't doing so hot after he invested in a band called Bugg Spray. Now, if it were me, that name would have been indication enough. Anyway, Will needs some cash quick and he enters Image in the Florida Derby. He runs around for the rest of the book, whining about money, making stupid comments about Image and wearing floral shirts.

Joe: Has a family! Who visit him in Florida. Who knew?

Jazz: Must die. I want to chop off his dumb ponytail and tell him to stop running around like a younger Steven Segal.

There are no interesting points in this book. Other than the red colouring of the spine reminds me of candy apples and there is an outdated competition that I was too old to enter even at the time of publication... not that I am a US citizen anyway.

If you think the review sucks, read the book. I dare you. Your eyes will bleed. I think my next one is Great Expectations, which not a very appropriate title, as I have none.

2 comments:

sundae-mourning said...

i actually think this is one of the least painful Image books. i liked it a lot, comparatively, though i think a big part of it is because there are actually events that make it easy to differentiate it from all of the other Image books...it wasn't just Chris and Mel butting heads for 100 out of the 140 pages.

Mara said...

Does that scene on the cover even happen in the book?