Dec 1, 2009

The Calm before what?

4.3: Calm

This show keeps getting weirder, and I am back to bring you the fabulous point system that will in no way make anything clear. Let's go!

(Remember, I supplement Thoroughbred series characters for Wildfire characters. This show is in no way related to the Thoroughbred series, although it mirrors it in a really amusing, fan fiction sort of way.)

The Good:

+ Apparently Townsend Acres is now Townsend Industries, and Brad has been made CEO, which may just be a figurehead for the time being, but I am still all about this development. +1!

+ Brad literally cannot remember stealing some poor guy's prom date, during prom. Look, I went to prom, and I remember it quite clearly as the giant waste of time that it was. How awesome do you have to be to forget that you stole someone's date? Has Brad attained some super echelon of awesome? I think that he has. +3!

+ Dani goes through this episode being right about everything. I like it when Dani is right about everything. It just feels...natural, somehow. +1!

+ The poor MIT graduate that got his prom date stolen wants to know how Brad discovered his address. Really, is anyone shocked? He's Brad. +2! It is also kind of sweet that Brad will go this far to apologize to someone for something he can't remember doing that was probably awesome an unspecified number of years ago. (How old are these people? I am so confused.)

+ I kind of like the wind turbine idea. However, I don't know how anyone would feel about having a six foot turbine attached to their house. Also, does it work when it's not windy? Also, how does MIT guy have power if he has his whole apartment attached to the turbine that he has to blow into in order to turn on a light? Regardless of these questions, I still give a point! +1!

+ Brad will stop global warming! +5!

+ I said it once, and I'll say it again. Dani and Ashleigh being friends is awesome. Plus, considering neither have any other friends whatsoever, it's about freaking time. +2!

+ The scene where Wonder jumps out of her little baby paddock to nuzzle Ashleigh is...actually good. For a while there I was doubting the super girl and wonder pony plot, because Wonder was a little sidelined last season by the melodrama, and it's nice to actually get a completely unexpected and unrealistic reaction from Wonder. Thank you Thoroughbred...I mean Wildfire. +4!


The Bad:

- Who the hell is Ian to come waltzing into Dani's equine clinic to demand that Ashleigh leave town? Dude, this is not the old west. I think Ashleigh can coexist in the same town with you. Don't make me take Ashleigh's side, Ian. You know how I don't like to do that. -2!

- Wonder is whored out for the good of Whitebrook for the, oh, fourth time. Once a season is usually our average, and someone always gets upset about it, despite the fact that this someone has, without fail, whored out Wonder in the past. This time, instead of taking Wonder to a child's birthday party, she is a photo op for all of Whitebrook's dude ranch guests. And Mike, who dreamed up the birthday party scenario from seasons previous, is upset. Mike, how much do you suck? -2!

- While I do think Jean had a lot of reasons to be pissed off last season, now she's just being a rampant jerk. Granted, it doesn't help matters that Ashleigh is acting like a kicked puppy, but I just want some realistic anger, not insane psychobabble, okay? Is this asking too much? -1!

- Wonder ties up, which in Thoroughbred/Wildfire land means she falls over and can't get over it without magical super girl tears. Or, actually, I guess Ashleigh just happens to walk by and everything is better. I don't know what's going on there. It was too Thoroughbred series to make any sense. -1!

- Noah still creeps me out. Stop digging for love with Dani, Noah, because she is so going to get back together with RJ when he magically comes out of his coma! -1!



The More Things Change (1): 22
The More Things Change (2): 1
Calm: 12

Not bad, show. Not bad.


PRtine said...

Yay!! Wildfire reviews are back!! I promise you, you'll find them more accictive on hulu as this season progresses. (I will say no more.)

I still have yet to figure out these kids' ages. But, let's examine for funsies:

1. Stipulation one: we'll ignore that they all drink and have owned a club and started own ranches/industries/farms. that's standard procedure for teen drama. Those Upper East Siders on Gossip Girl have been drinking for years, and own half of Manhattan.

2. Stipulation two: we'll also ignore seasons since it's always fall. Always. Even when breeding horses, it's fall.

3. Ashleigh is 18ish in juvie (since they decided she was almost 18 and had her GED in the pilot but not done with high school by mid-season one).

4. Brad and Mike are supposedly about to go to college (but never do) in the pilot.

5. Ashleigh spends six months in juvie (but this is likely moot, according to rest of season).

6. Ashleigh disappears to illegally race in Colorado for six months (again) after season 3.

Hmm, so that's, how old again?

season one: 18-19
season two: 19-20
season three: 20-21ish
season four: 21-23(??)

That's my best guess.

PRtine said...

OH! I forgot about Dani and her friend (who got busted for a fake and was always trying to get beer from the bookie) who disappears after season one!!

Maybe they're a year or two younger?

Mara said...

See, they've all been drinking legally since season two, when Brad owned that club. So it would suggest that they're at least 21 by the start of season two, right? I know for a fact that Mike states he is 17 in the pilot. Granted, pilots can be misleading. They decide some things innitially that they throw out without explanation, and I think that's sort of standard. (Also the reason why Ashleigh starts out with her GED, and then suddenly doesn't have her GED.) Wonder was also mentioned as two in the pilot. I think that's the last we hear about age specifics.

So, if you want to assume they're all drinking legally, they're 21 by season two. 22/23 by season three, and somewhere in their mid-twenties by season four when you add in that extra six months of off screen time. I would accept mid-twenties for these characters by this point, but it makes the jump between season 1 & 2 pretty awkward. Then again, I will always say that season 1 was the best.

I hate that it is fall all the time in this show. It just makes it more confusing!

PRtine said...

Hmm, good points. I forgot they were drinking legally in season two.

Not to spoil anything, but I think they say Wonder's 4 sometime in season 4. Could be wrong though; it's been a few months since I watched.

So, if we go by horse years, that's two years between seasons 2 and 4, but 4 years between 1 and 2 (assuming that Mike's 17 in season 1 and can drink in the beginning of season 2). So the series spans 6 years, making them all ... 22-23?

Oooh, that's right around my first estimate, but with the time warpage happening sooner rather than later.

PRtine said...

Oh, but, there's an age limit on the Breeders, right? Does that factor into Wonder's age progression?

Mara said...

Thinking about it in terms of Wonder's age is probably near to impossible. If we're going to assume "the Breeders" is the Breeders' Cup Classic, Wonder would have to be three or older. However, in season three there is an episode that has everyone hoping Wonder can go to the Kentucky Derby, which is limited to three year olds, which would then mean that everyone hasn't aged between seasons 1 and 2, and only age a year between seasons 2 and 3. Not to even mention, Wonder serves a season at stud between season 2 & 3, which could be any amount of time in Wildfire land.

It's too messy to even figure out at this point!